Getting the guidance you need from your wise, older self


Three years ago I wrote this letter I'm holding above, to myself.

I imagined it was a letter being written to me from my wise, older self. Over the years I've done this from time to time when I am starting new chapters in my life, when I am at a cross-roads and need some guidance or when I am struggling and need the reassurance that everything will be alright in the end.

And so I image myself many years from now - at peace, full of love and wisdom and with the wonderful benefit of hindsight - and I imagine what guidance and messages of love and support that older, wiser version of me would offer to the person I am today.

A few weeks ago I found this letter that I had written and posted to myself on the 28th October - two days after my birthday - 3 years ago.

I was fully dedicated at that time to learning to love myself and on the path that would later inspire our 'Get Ready for Love' course, but I still had my moments of despair and frustration - after so many years of disappointments and never finding anyone that was right for me, was it ever going to happen?

I needed some wise guidance and reassurance and so I picked up a pen, channeled that wise, older self and let her send me her words of guidance and wisdom.

Reading back on that letter 3 years later, with my partner and little boy lying on the bed next to me, I'm struck at how true those wise words were.

And so here is the letter I wrote to myself. If you are single and wondering why it hasn't happened to you yet, let these words calm and reassure you in the way they once did me…

Dearest Selina,

The moment you realise that your life and your happiness do not depend on finding a partner and having a family, you will be set free.

So that when you do meet a man you'd love to spend the rest of your life with, you won't demand your happiness and blame your sadness and loneliness on the relationship. You won't expect your children to fulfill your life in a way you never could. Instead you will love him, your relationship and your children for who they are. You will allow for them to grow and evolve and change and not fear that in doing so you will be left alone and unhappy.

These years of longing for a partner have been hard, I know. I do understand. You thrive in partnership and to not have it in your life has not been easy, but you will one day be so incredibly thankful that you had the strength to not settle.

So that you could learn lessons that have made you into the person you are. Deep down you chose it, so that you had the space to know yourself first before becoming a partner and creating a family.

But don't fear, it WILL happen and will be richer for the time you spent with yourself being your own partner in life.

Focus on love in abundance in all areas of life and enjoy seeing what grows.

x Selina

At the time this letter gave me such a sense of calm, reminding me that I was in fact exactly where I needed to be. That this was all part of the plan. That this time alone was in fact something I would one day be eternally grateful for.

How wise that older self was. Today I really do look back on that time with deep gratitude, because I see now that it was in those single years that I became the person I am today. In being single for all those years I discovered a strength in me that I didn’t know I had, I got to experience a wonderful freedom that no woman in my family had ever experienced before and my wings got to spread out wide as I flew all over the world. I got to discover the sweetness of solitude and even the transformative power of heartbreak. Each time I thought my heart was breaking, it was in fact a piece of my ego falling away and a piece of my heart being returned to me until finally I stood strong and whole as the queen of my own kingdom.

THAT is what I was doing in the time I was single. And my wiser self knew that, even then.

I appreciated too how she  understood my longing for partnership and love with another and understood that it wasn’t easy to have such a strong longing and not know when or if it would ever happen. Because longing is a hard one. It’s so heavy and can cling to your heart even in the happiest of times.

But do you know what, I believe it is because of all those years of longing that I am so grateful on a daily basis for the relationship I enjoy today.

But what I love most of all about this letter is that it reminds me that when we choose to, we really can tap into a part of ourselves that is connected deeply with life and that always has love, wisdom and guidance to offer. We just have to learn how to make space for her to be heard.

So why not give it a go yourself this week? Imagine a wise, old version of you is reaching back to the person you are today, she looks upon you with so much love and has so much wisdom and guidance to offer you. Let her write a letter to you and just see what she has to say.

X Selina


Is your inner shitty committee getting in the way of you finding love?

This week we've cooked up a podcast dedicated to those of you who are out there dating. Because we LOVE you ladies. We know it isn't always an easy journey (mine certainly wasn't at first!), but what often makes it hard is actually your own Shitty Committee - that internal negative voice that is always quick to criticise you, tell you what you're doing wrong, tell you when you're not good enough and generally fill your head with doubts and fears.

And if that Shitty Committee voice has a strong power over you, then it can cause all sorts of havoc when you're dating.

So what can you do about that negative voice in your head that can cause so much dating discomfort?

Well that is what this podcast is all about. It's a good one. You can download or listen to it over on Soundcloud or iTunes.

And if you’re not already doing our Get Ready for Love course then what are you waiting for? Come and join us today and we’ll really get to work on your Shitty Committee straight away :)

x Selina

Are you holding yourself back in life by comparing yourself to others too much?


Last week I got to interview and wax lyrical with the wonderful Lucy Sheridan - the world’s first and only Comparison Coach and co-author of ‘HigerSelfie’  which was published by Hay House (wow) earlier this year.

I loved talking to Lucy - this whole topic of ‘comparison’ that she has focused in on with her coaching is fascinating.

It is a conversation I believe we all need to be having.

And I'll admit, I didn't at first think that. When I first saw that Lucy was a ‘comparison’ coach I thought ‘huh, I guess some people are really hung up on comparing themselves andreally need help with that. NOT me…’

And then what followed was a month of having all the ways I compare myself to others slam right up against me and it triggered one of the biggest spiritual growth spurts I’ve had in a long time.

What I realised was that ‘comparison’ is not a niche issue that just a few people suffer from. It is something we are all at, whether we realise it or not.

And it has a big impact on how we live our lives, how we feel about ourselves and the expectations we put on our relationships.

And now with social media we have even more ways to constantly be measuring ourselves up against one another, fueling the fear that we are ‘not good enough’ and disconnecting ourselves from the love we could be experiencing amongst the people that surround us.

As Lucy said “comparison closes us off” and when you start to dig into how it is at play in your own life, you really start to see how much that is true.

So come and listen in and see how our conversation about 'comparison' opens things up for you too PLUS you'll hear us talk about creating our lives from scratch after hitting rock bottom and how Lucy and Jo landed a book deal with Hay House and wrote Higher Selfie in just 3 months!

So grab a cuppa and join in the conversation over here.

And to find out more about Lucy and the wonderful coaching she offers head over to

x Selina

P.S. Vicki is back next week and we will be announcing the launch of our London series of events 'School of Love'! Watch this space :)

How to love & be in a relationship without losing yourself

I'm writing this before I catch an early flight tomorrow to join Vicki and Pav for their huge wedding celebrations in Spain (I'll be documenting things over on instagram).

But before I go I wanted to leave you with a podcast that I've just put up on iTunes that we recorded just before Vicki left. It's all about 'How to love and be in a relationship without losing yourself'. It is a concern that a lot of our clients have been voicing recently, so we decided to dig deep into it and wow, what a fascinating conversation it turned out to be.

Have a listen to it below and let us know what experiences you've had of losing yourself or seeing friends lose themselves in relationships.

Much love,
x Selina

What if you found out that the whole purpose of life was just to ENJOY it?

On Monday we did a talk at the Electric - Soho House - in London all about 'How to stay happy and grounded in a fast-paced life'. It's a HUGE topic that we dedicated a whole podcast to recently - listen to it here.

And ever since we did the talk I've been thinking back to a blog post that I wrote six years ago that served as a powerful wake up call at a time when I was running a million miles an hour, taking on waaaay too much and living off a constantly caffeinated and adrenalised high, while underneath it all I was exhausted and unhappy.

The blog post was my way of grabbing myself by the shoulders, gently shaking me with love and saying 'Why are you doing this to yourself?!'.

Why was I pushing myself so hard? Noone was asking me to do that, so why did I feel that I should? Who was I doing it all for? Was I expecting to get some kind of prize at the end of it all?

Finally as I lay one night collapsed on my sofa, in full blown burn out, I scribbled out this blog post and drew this little postcard.

It marked a turning point for me and I've never forgotten the message I gave myself that day.

So if you have a tendency to push yourself too hard, take on too much, put other people's needs ahead of your own and forget to prioritise the things in life that make you truly happy, then have a read of this.

This message is for you too.

"Imagine if, when you die, it turns out that there IS a heaven and a pair of pearly gates. And when you get there, standing there is god himself looking down at you. You're in the spot light.

You're waiting for the big judgement, the ultimate test, hoping desperately that you did OK, that you did enough, that you were good enough, helped enough people, weren't too selfish, weren't too mean.

You stand there fingers crossed as he flicks through the portfolio of your life and then he smiles and asks calmly,

'So did you enjoy it?'

'Because that's all we wanted. For you to enjoy your time on earth, enjoy the experience of being alive, discover what made you come alive, what made you happy and spend your life doing that...that was what it was all about'.

Imagine that.

Imagine after all that striving and hard work, it turns out that the best thing you could possibly have done for yourself, the people around you and the earth as a whole, was to discover what makes you come alive, follow your heart and spend your time on earth doing that. Imagine that.

I like this game. Try it. Day dream the scene for a moment (no requirement to believe in god for this to work), the moment where you are told that the whole point of this game called life was to create and live a life you love because THAT above all is what the world needs.

What would your reaction be? Play it out.

Here's how my scene pans out.

I'd stand for a moment agog. And then I wouldn't be able to hold back.

"Seriously?! Was that all I had to do?! Why didn't anyone tell me!? Why did I listen to all those people saying that I should be doing this and that?! Why didn't you send some kind of message?!"

I think god would probably look back agog at me.

"What do you mean I didn't tell you?!" I imagine god saying back somewhat indignantly, if gods are allowed to be indignant.

"You had that fridge magnet up for twenty years saying 'don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and then go and do that, because what the world needs is people that have come alive', you built a whole career around that message. So you did know"

If heaven had rocks, I'd be kicking them by now.

"Yeah, but I wasn't sure if that was really allowed - enjoying life so much, having such a good time. Why didn't you just tell everyone it was allowed and that we ALL had a choice and it wasn't just that I was 'lucky' but it was simply that I chose to make it happen. You could have helped me out"

I imagine myself bursting into hot tears of frustration. Thinking back to all those hours, days, years spent doing what I thought I 'should' rather than what made me happy, what made me feel alive. All those years standing in my own way, all that time feeling guilty for having a life I loved, trying to make up for it, apologising for it, feeling guilty for it.

I'd want to go back in time and show myself this scene, send it to myself like a picture on a postcard.

                   (this is the postcard I created after I'd written the blog post)

                   (this is the postcard I created after I'd written the blog post)

I'd tell myself to stop feeling guilty about having a life I love, but instead to celebrate it and enjoy it. To get comfortable with it, embrace it, relax into it. That this is allowed. That everyone has the choice to create a life out of the stuff they love and that just because not everyone chooses to do that doesn't mean you have to feel guilty about doing it yourself. Don't create a life you love and then not allow yourself to enjoy it. THAT is bonkers. I'd say do even more of it. Have even more adventures. Dance, laugh, paint, love out loud. And celebrate the whole lot of it. The glorious experience of being alive and being you.

I'd tell myself to join hands with all the others out there creating lives out of the stuff they love and celebrating it. I'd tell myself to full on party with them, keep that party expanding and the door open to anyone that wants to join, but not to worry if people don't choose to. Let them be.

So my question to you today is...what would you do?

What if we were to find out that that IS what we're here to do - to enjoy life, really experience it, follow our hearts, do what makes us come alive? What if you were told that your job on this earth was to make YOU happy, discovering and doing the things you love?

What would you do differently?

Click reply to let me know."

And so, six years later, let's get this conversation going again. Let us know, by leaving a comment below, what you would do differently if your whole purpose on earth was simply to ENJOY yourself and all that life has to offer. And let this be the start, like it was for me six years ago, that you begin to make YOU a top priority in your life.

x Selina

P.S. If you know someone who also has a tendency to put other people's needs before their own and run themselves into the ground with it, then forward this onto them too ;)

The real significance of a hen party

In the same month that we celebrated 20 years of girl power from The Spice Girls, I was whisked away on my hen weekend with 13 friends. I'd never really thought about the significance of a hen party before, I guess it felt like a massive celebration with the wonderful women in your life.. (and an excuse to have a party). I was more than up for that when we set off on the party bus from Waterloo, high pitch screaming our way down the M4 with M&S cosmo cans in hand.   

Well, turns out it was that and so much more.

It was everything you’d expect from a hen - we shared embarrassing sex stories, we downed tequila shots, we cackled with laughter, we hugged, we cried, we danced. And yes there were willy straws and blow up men. But what made it different was an additional layer that my hens planned (knowing me so well and knowing how much I love a chat.. I’m often the one at a party having deep and meaningfuls in the loo) - the D&M (deep and meaningful) session. It started as a bit of fun, sitting in a circle wearing catsuits and kaftans, passing a jar of questions around and answering them one by one (holding a dildo, which you could pass on if you didn’t want to answer). We were all giggling at first, some of us feeling a bit awkward with sitting in a circle together. And it was a little scary at first, feeling that exposed and vulnerable, but I can honestly say that it was one of the most powerful and liberating things I have ever done. And I wasn’t the only one that felt that way, it was a rare opportunity to share deeply and really be heard, while being surrounded by a bunch of strong and empowered women who all have your back. Without meaning to, we had turned it into a real sisterhood bonding session, and it turns out that that was exactly what we’d all been craving, we just hadn’t realised it. I discovered things about my friends that I didn’t know before and I felt such a deep connection with them in that moment. It was so inspiring to listen to the other women share their life stories, talk about challenges they’re working through and share their dreams and ambitions in life.

There was a particular question that I was so scared to answer - ‘your life story in 3 minutes’. I have this real fear of being put on the spot so when it happens, my mind tends to go blank like I have no long term memory?!? I know it was the fear that had blocked me but it meant that I couldn't reveal myself in the way that I wanted to. Since then, memories had been popping up from my life, things that I thought were buried away. So last week I had a go at writing my story and it was so cathartic, I wasn't really sure if I wanted to do anything with it but in the spirit of heart opening sharing, I emailed it to the group (cue vulnerability hangover). And yes it was bloody scary putting my story into words but I felt so supported to do it and it has opened something up for me - a part of myself that was in the shadows now has permission to come out into the light. This just wouldn't have happened without that session, and I realised just how much I need a regular space for this in my life . Something really shifted for me and this is just the beginning of more heart opening sharing and a deeper connection with myself. And I know I’m not the only one who’s felt like this. That is the power of sisterhood.

I came home from that weekend feeling an overwhelming sense of love, admiration and gratitude to have such inspiring, strong, empowered women in my life, who inspire me to be the same. I was shown the importance of sisterhood and girl power, the stuff that I learnt from the Spice Girls all those years ago at the age of 11.

And I realised the real significance of a hen party.

It is to show you how supported and loved you are, both as an individual and as a couple, to prepare you for the next chapter in your life. Because having such loving friendships gives you a strong foundation for a happy and healthy relationship and marriage. And it means you don’t depend on the relationship to fulfill all your needs. These friendships make me stronger and elevate me up to be the best I can be.

Now I feel ready to enter that next chapter of my life.

The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards. They either help us become the-best-version-of-ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves. We become like our friends. No man becomes great on his own. No woman becomes great on her own. The people around them help to make them great. We all need people in our lives who raise our standards, remind us of our essential purpose, and challenge us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves
— Matthew Kelly The Rhythm of Life

And of course you don’t need a hen party for some good old sisterhood bonding, grab the women in your life that you love and organise a sisterhood circle <check out Selina’s brilliant post> and love and support each other to grow and live a life you love. In sisterhood we stand.

Vicki x

A very special Real Love Story: with Vicki's fiancee - Mark Pavitt

This weekend was Vicki's hen weekend (check out the glitter and celebrations on instagram @loveprojectlove) and as part of the fun we decided to rustle up a bit of a special surprise for her:

A Real Love Story with none other than the man she is going to marry in a couple of months: Mr Mark Pavitt (here he is with Vicki, the pair of cuties).

Pav and Vicki

It is a gorgeous interview, not only because it is Vicki’s fiancee talking about how they met and what he loves about her and their relationship, but because Mark offers wonderful insights into how baggage from past relationships and attempts to protect ourselves can heavily affect our behaviour in the early days of dating and he gives the most beautiful message to Vicki at the end.

So without further it is: A Real Love Story with Mr Mark Pavitt (the man Vicki is about to marry!)

You can listen to it over on iTunes or Soundcloud (it will be up on the site on Monday but I needed to hide it from Vicki for now!)

Lots of love,

Celebrating a year of helping women write their own love stories

Exactly one year ago we launched our online course ‘Get Ready for Love’.

Our aim was to take women on a journey that would transform their love lives, by challenging their beliefs around love and dating and showing them a whole new way of looking at love and how to find it.

We wanted to create an experience that was fun, inspiring and thought-provoking, that would help women to see what was really getting in their way of finding love and help them to shift those barriers once and for all, so that they could let love fully into their lives.

Well, one year later we’ve had over 300 women sign up and do the course and it’s been featured (with full page spreads and great reviews) in Psychologies magazine and Grazia.


But for us, the most rewarding part has been to hear the difference the course really has made to people.

Just days after we launched, a woman wrote to us with this extraordinary story...

 “I have a rather lovely story to share with you. On Thursday last week I signed up for the course - one of the reasons being that I never meet anyone in the real world, or have the courage to chat people up and I hide behind dating apps. Thursday evening I walked into my local pub and spotted a very good looking man at the bar. Signing up to the course gave me the courage to go and chat to him and I offered to buy him a drink. We flirted and spent the evening chatting and getting to know each other and generally having a lovely time. After a few hours of finding out about each other we had a sudden realisation that we did in fact know each other already. We'd been each other’s first boyfriend and girlfriend 25 years ago at school. We haven't seen each for 23 years and we didn't recognise each other in the slightest which was pretty funny as you can imagine. We're both single and seem really attracted to each other and are going on a date tonight. So I guess it just goes to show you never know what's round the corner. I really don't think I'd have gone over to him if I hadn't signed up for the course so thank you :)"

The last time we heard from her they were still going strong.

Since then we have had more wonderful emails like that and invited people to share their stories on our blog.

Shani found that the Get Ready for Love course was a journey that gave her back her power...

"GRFL came to me during a time when I was completely exhausted from being disappointed so many times, but after 30 lessons and the support of the other GRFLers, something magical happened.

I realized I AM THE ONE.

I realized it is in my power to create life full of love. I realized that no one can give me the love I want, because all that love is in me. All of these realizations (and many more), along with turning self-love into a daily practice and a way of life, make me look at myself in the mirror every morning and feel like the most fabulous, powerful, loved and loving woman out there.

And I wish this feeling upon every woman everywhere! ”

Read Shani’s guest blog post 'My Unapologetic Self' over here.

Meanwhile Laina wrote a guest blog post about her GRFL journey and what she learnt along the way, that has been one of our most shared blog posts yet…

 "I had got it into my head that that a relationship would complete me. We’ve all seen the Jerry Maguire film - ‘You complete me. You. Complete. Me’. Well, to the Jerrys out there, Project Love has taught me: You don’t complete me, I complete me.

Read the whole post here.

Then last week when we sent out an email to invite the Get Ready for Love tribe to celebrate our one year anniversary we got this email from Katherine…

 Unfortunately I can't make it to the picnic on that date ladies which is a shame as I would have loved to have come because Get Ready for Love lead to me meeting the man of my dreams! On day 21 of the course, 4th December 2015, I met Jake, my now boyfriend of 6 months and I can truly say I am the happiest I think I've ever been in my life. I was already in a pretty good place when I started project Love. I had slowly learnt lessons along the way and could feel myself getting closer to having the relationship I wanted, I just wasn't sure how to find the person for me. I was in a positive frame of mind and willing to try anything. The biggest takeaway from Get Ready for Love for me was engaging with the world around me and opening up my mind to meeting someone different. I met Jake at a bar and from the moment I met him it just felt right. He said that the reason he noticed me was because of my big smile. Since that day we have had such a positive dating experience and I think a lot of it has been helped by the lessons learned in your course so thank you! I truly didn't even believe guys like Jake existed!

Keep up all the hard work ladies because I think you are doing a great job and your course really has helped me and I'm sure lots of other women too! I always talk about it with my friends so hopefully some of them will sign up too!

How gorgeous is that?

So next weekend we’ll be gathering with some of the London-based ladies from our Get Ready for Love tribe to celebrate a year of opening up and letting love in. But for now we’d like to thank all of you who have joined us on the Get Ready for Love journey - you have made this a truly wonderful experience for us and we look forward to seeing even more of you joining us as we step into our second year.

With lots and lots and LOTS of love,

 x Selina & Vicki

P.S. If you’d like to join us and start your own Get Ready for Love journey today then simply head over here and we’ll send you your welcome pack straight away.

How To Stay Grounded when Living A Fast Paced Life

"I'm ok, I'm just busy" - how many times have you said that this week? If you're like most of us then it's A LOT. It seems that we're living in a constant state of overwhelm and somehow it's become normal, spinning lots of plates in the air, all at the same time.

How do we manage the many deadlines and demands on our time? And how can we stay grounded and balanced living this fast paced life?

This is the hot topic that we explored in our latest podcast, which was inspired by our friends Persia and Joey from Addictive Daughter who have just released their new book 'The Inner Fix: Be Stronger, Happier and Braver'.

Listen in as we share all the things from our 'Inner Fix' toolkit and how we put our happiness and wellbeing as a top priority in life. 

Love, Vicki and Selina x

PS We'd love to hear from you - what do you do to stay grounded and maintain a healthy headspace? Leave us a comment below :)

Our top personal lessons on how to keep the love flowing when you're in a relationship


Last month Vicki and I both celebrated our anniversaries with our partners (must be something about May!) - Vicki celebrated 5 years (and is soon to get married) and I celebrated 2 years (and a baby!).

So we decided to use it as an opportunity to take a step back and reflect on what we have each learnt this year on how to keep the love flowing in our relationships.

And we decided to do it in front of a camera - our first Project Love VLOG!

We talk about having the courage to ask for what you need in a relationship (most people aren't mind readers after all!), the importance of self-care in a relationship and how easily a relationship is impacted when one or both of you aren't looking after yourselves properly. Vicki shares what she does when her relationship needs a bit of a reset and I talk about the lessons I've learnt this year on how to manage my anger and express it the right way .

And this one isn't just for the couples out there. I found when I was single that listening to conversations about how to keep the love alive in relationships and how to make relationships last, helped me to get clear on how I wanted to be in my next relationship and it really has made a big difference.

So I hope you enjoy the video and please share with us the lessons that you have learnt in love by leaving comments below.

Lots of love,

x Selina


Self-love for beginners



All too often we find people scrunching up their nose at the mention of self-love, as if it’s a bit cheesy and self-indulgent. But learning to love yourself is one of the most powerful and important things you can do in life. Your heart is your power and when you become the source of love in your own life it changes everything. Your relationships, your career, your health – they all flourish when you start to love yourself.

But while we all know deep down that it’s important to love yourself, we find the area that people get most stuck on is actually knowing how to do it.

At Project Love, we like to look at self-love as an art that can be practiced and mastered over time. When we practice self-love, we cultivate a loving and healthy relationship with ourselves and something magical happens – we become our own best friend.

As Oscar Wilde once said, “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”.
So how do we start that romance? How do we learn to love ourselves?

Well here are 7 ways you can start practicing the art of self-love straight away:

1. Nourish yourself

If you’re totally new to the practice of self-love then start with focusing on nourishing yourself. Nourishing your body is the most basic form of loving yourself, so this week become mindful of what you put in your body – give it what it loves. Start your day with a green smoothie, treat yourself to a raw chocolate snack and make time to cook yourself a nutritious dinner full of superfoods. The way we feed ourselves reflects how we love ourselves. So get good at nourishing yourself and you’ll lay strong foundations to self-love.

2. Take yourself out on a date

If you’ve never taken yourself out on a date before then make this the month that you do it. Solo-dating is all about spending quality time with yourself and doing something special, just for you. It is one of the most powerful (and fun) things you can do when it comes to practicing self-love. By doing something special for yourself – something you’d only normally do with someone else – you’re giving yourself the love and attention you’d normally only give out to others. You’re finally turning your love in on yourself. We’ve had clients do anything from treating themselves to coffee and a cake at their favourite cafe to taking themselves away on a spa weekend. Whatever people do, they always come away buzzing from it.

3. Start a gratitude journal

It has been proven that just by writing down 5 things that you’re grateful for each day, you can train your brain to be more positive, treating yourself to an overall feeling of happiness. It is a key tool when it comes to practicing self-love because it has us step into an attitude of gratitude, love and abundance.

So buy yourself a notebook and at the end of each day, for the next week, write down 5 things you’re grateful for and see how good it feels to end your day this way.

And as well as giving thanks for things that have happened to you that day and the people in your life that you’re thankful for, also include yourself in your gratitude practice. Find at least one thing you can thank yourself for each day and you’ll see your relationship with yourself shift into an incredibly loving place.

4. Make your body happy

It is essential when learning to love ourselves that we focus plenty of time and attention on our bodies. How we feel in our bodies directly affects how we feel in ourselves. Often feelings of loneliness and lack of love actually stem from our own disconnect with our bodies. You want to keep that gorgeous body of yours feeling energised and full of vitality. So it’s important that as part of your self-love routine you do things that make you feel great in your body; whether that’s yoga, running, 80’s Aerobics or dancing like Beyonce at Frame Rave (a particular favourite of ours)!

5. Express yourself

It’s so important to find ways to really express yourself and feel free to be totally you. Whether it’s dancing, writing, singing, painting, acting, sculpting, cooking, making music, sketching, DJing, pottery or poetry – everyone has something that does it for them. It’s often something we did naturally as children. It’s always something that makes us feel fully alive.

So what is it for you? When do you feel you can really let go and be who you truly are? If it’s not something you do at the moment, then think back to earlier years. What makes you come alive and really connect with the deepest parts of yourself? Now go and make time for it in your life. Whether it’s unleashing your inner Rihanna on the dance floor, singing like no-one’s listening or painting in big bold brush strokes, just for the fun of it, it’s essential that you make time to do the things that allow you to really express yourself from the heart.

6. Write a loving letter to yourself

Pick up a pen and with the same love and fondness you’d write to a dear friend, write a letter to yourself. Write about the things in your life right now that make you happy and the people in your life that bring you joy, inspiration and kindness. Reflect on how you’re feeling, give yourself a pep talk if you feel you need one and document your dreams and wishes for the future. If there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with at the moment, see what advice and encouragement you can give to yourself, celebrate your achievements and sign your letter off with love. Then pop that letter in the post and enjoy receiving it a couple of days later!

7. Shower yourself in feel-good vibes

We have far more power than we often realise to generate the feelings we want to experience in life, no matter where we are or what’s going on around us. We just have to learn how to tap into those feelings. An easy way to do it is to think back to a time in your life where you felt full of joy, happiness, peace or fulfillment – whatever it is you want to feel – and then find a photo of you from that time that really reminds you of what it was like to feel that way, so much so that you start to feel that way again just by looking at the photo.

Now put that photo somewhere so that you’ll see it every day: save it as your Facebook profile picture, your phone wallpaper or just print it out and stick it up on your bathroom mirror. Whenever you need a boost to your day, take a look at that picture and let yourself bathe in those feel-good vibes.

You don’t complete me. I complete me.

We have a guest blogger for you this week in the form of the wonderful and inspiring Laina! This post was first written to us as an email and Laina didn't want it to be public at first but in practicing opening up and being vulnerable, she knew she had a powerful message to share with you. From one single woman to another...

After 12 months of investing time, money and energy into dating, I was still single and feeling rejected, unattractive and pessimistic about love.  I didn’t want to be feeling like this, and I knew it was time to get ready for love.

Having just turned 30, I was listening to all the ‘noise’ around me which was leading to a path of self-destruction. ‘Noise’ is what I refer to as those comments and questions that make you feel like you’re missing out on something ‘Why are you still single? You’re being too picky; if you want kids aren’t you worried about your age, it must be so difficult being single at your age’  It’s not helpful, it’s noise, and I needed to turn down the volume.

With my very settled friends living vicariously through my dating life, I would often make my dating disasters and my ‘single misfortune' the centre of conversations and the butt of all jokes.  At least I could laugh it off, I thought.  Secretly however, I knew I was in a dangerous mindset; I was starting to question myself, question what was wrong with me, and I'd get insanely jealous and resentful of all my friends who were in relationships.  It was like they had a layer of happiness that I just would never experience for as long as I was single.  I had got it into my head that a relationship would complete me.  We’ve all seen the Jerry Maguire film - 'You complete me. You. Complete. Me'.  Well, to the Jerry's out there, Project Love has taught me:  You don’t complete me, I complete me. 

I finished Project Love's 'Get Ready for Love' 30 day course with a fresh perspective of love and more importantly of myself.  The problem, I realised, was that for too many years i’d been listening to the ‘noise’; whether it was hollywood, society, friends or family.  I thought that being in a relationship was the ultimate measure of being a complete adult.  That being single would mean me constantly yearning for a man and always thinking that I was missing out on something.  With this mindset, I wasn’t ready for love, because I would always be choosing love because it’s better off than being alone.  That’s not love, that’s desperation and it’s settling.

Since completing the course, I’ve realised one thing:  I am already complete.  I love my life and I accept my flaws.  When I stopped and actually thought about my life decisions and the abundance of love I have from friends and family, I realised that I survive, enjoy and LOVE my life everyday without someone else needing to validate or complete it for me. 

By no means am I suggesting that the course has made me anti-relationships, I still can’t wait to meet a man who wants to experience life with me, but I know that I want to meet someone who feels the way I do about relationships.  I don’t want to play that role of trying to complete them. 

For those of you who are considering or are already part of 'Get Ready for Love', remember, YOU complete YOU.  Go out, remember to self-nourish, practice gratitude, go on a date with yourself and most importantly, love who you are. 

When you truly learn to love who you are, you will be complete.  

Laina X

Have you ever dreamed of starting your own business doing something you love?

Last week we shared an interview of Vicki and me being interviewed over on Passion Pods about what it’s like to start your own business and do what you love for a living.

This week we thought we’d share a bit more about what it really takes to quit the 9 to 5 and become your own boss and encourage you, if you’ve dreamed of starting your own business, to take that dream seriously.

Because we only dream of the things that are meant for us.

So you have to listen to those dreams.

But the dream of starting your own business is a BIG one.

It can be one of those dreams that we can dance around for years, never quite daring to pick it up, because it just seems…well too big.

So if that sounds like you, if you’ve always loved the idea of being your own boss and running your own show, then it’s time to get you started on that journey.

You don’t even need to know what kind of business you’d like to run yet.

All you need is a commitment to take action and a willingness to try stuff out.

That is how businesses are born.

That is how Project Love was born.

We just started doing stuff.

We started with small projects that got us excited, involved things we loved to do and tested out our ideas.

Our first idea – a course on helping women sort out their love lives – was tested out on 15 single women and was the basis of what later became Get Ready for Love.

At the time of doing it we didn’t even have a website and we certainly didn’t have a plan.

We just had passion for what we were doing, a commitment to following our hearts and a willingness to explore, experiment and get help and guidance when we needed it.

And that really IS all you need to start a business.

How do I know?

Because I started my first business aged 26 and over the past 10 years I have helped over 1000 people start their own businesses through online courses and 121 coaching programmes.

And what I’ve learnt in that time is that the key to success is action.

Don’t lie in bed trying to come up with a unique award-winning business idea that will make you rich quick.

You don’t need a unique, never-before-thought-of idea to be a success.

What matters most is you doing something that you love.

That is the secret to success.

So do things that help you to figure out what activities, people and places you’d love your working day to be filled with, what your strengths are and what you’d like to offer the world.

Don’t think about it. Do it.

By trying out ideas one project at a time, you will grow a business that is right for you.

And if you want to be shown exactly how to do that, then come and join me and the legendary Marianne Cantwell (author of the best-selling book ‘How to be a Free Range Human’) on our 6 week course ‘The Ideas Adventure’ starting in just a few weeks.

We run this course once a year and it’s all about how to come up with a business idea that is right for you.

It’s an amazingly powerful course. Not only will you go away with a process that you can use over and over again to help you grow your business, but you will find out so much about yourself, what makes you come alive and what your strengths are.

You will be surprised at how much you can learn and do in just 6 weeks. And how much fun you can have in the process.

I love running this course with Marianne because she has been one of my own business mentors for the past 6 years and every time we run it together magic seems to happen in our own lives and businesses!

(Here we are with Marianne coming up with some magic for Project Love not so long ago)

(Here we are with Marianne coming up with some magic for Project Love not so long ago)

So if you’re ready to have some fun and figure out a business idea that is really right for you then sign your name up here  >>> THE IDEAS ADVENTURE

Marianne will send you more details about the course (emails will come from Free Range Humans) and you’ll be the first to hear when tickets go on sale (there is a very special 48 hour offer when it first goes on sale)

And if you have any questions in the meantime about the course then you can email me at hello <at>

And then let’s make this the year you get your business idea off the ground!

X Selina