Friendship: the love, the heartbreak and the hierarchy we need to get rid of!

 

We have a fresh new episode for you today and we can’t wait for you to hear it and get involved in the conversation with us over on instagram. Because today we are looking at a topic that we have all had strong experiences in: friendship.

Our friendships have the capacity to give us every bit as much love, connection, pain, heartbreak, growth and belonging as our romantic relationships and when it comes to friendships between women, there is plenty of research that proves that close female friendships are essential to our happiness and health.

So in this episode we looked at the power of friendship, the pain that can come with friendship break ups, how to make new friends as an adult and how to deal with the ‘friends’ that you realise aren’t treating you right and, perhaps the juiciest of all, how to handle the relationship hierarchy that seems to be at play in our society that relegates friendships to bottom rung once partners and kids come along. It was one of the biggest topics that came up when we got this conversation started over on instagram and the Love Zone last week. And it’s time we challenged that hierarchy and brought an end to it. It’s no good for anyone!

So hit play above or over at Apple Podcast and then carry on the conversation with us over on instagram @loveprojectlove

Oooooor let us know what you think of this latest episode (or the podcast as a whole) over on Apple Podcast (a 5* review would make our day ;) ).

Lots of love,

Selina & Vicki

Proof that you CAN consciously make your own dreams come true

I’ve been browsing through my old blog posts (I was an avid blogger for a good seven years before turning to podcasts) and I found one that really blew me away.

If you have a big dream that you would love to make come true, but you’re kind of avoiding it and not doing anything about it because a part of you just isn’t sure if it really is possible for you or if you are longing for a loving partnership in your life and wondering if It’s really ever going to happen for you, then read this blog post that I wrote four and a half years ago. Because knowing what we know now about what happened in my life just six months later, it gives a very compelling argument that you really CAN make your dreams come true. Even the big ones that you slightly fear can never happen for you.

At the time of writing the blog post I was single and had been single for a frustrated eight years. It was my life long dream to be in a loving relationship and have a family. But I hadn’t wanted to ever fully admit it. I just didn’t feel that that dream aligned with being a strong independent woman or perhaps deep down I was just very afraid it was never going to happen.

In this blog post I shared how for the first time I was finally owning my dream and the steps I was taking to help bring this dream to life.

Exactly two years later after grabbing hold of my dream and really owning it for the first time I was in the loving partnership I had been dreaming of and we had just found out we were expecting a child.

This is why I love doing what I do. Because it really does work. You can be the person that makes your dreams come true. And here, handily in this blog post. I give you step by step instructions on how to do that!

Read the blog post over on loveprojectlove.com and please drop me an email back and let me know if this post struck a chord. I love hearing from you guys.

x S

Here are the steps I took that I truly believed helped to make that dream come true:

"Do you have a dream that you don’t even dare to admit because you want it so much that it hurts and so you avoid it altogether? One that makes your heart ache when you think about it and so you’ve set your life up to distract you from the fact that you don’t live that dream?

A dream that lives right at the core of you, but that you fear probably isn’t ever going to happen for you and so you keep it buried?

Well up until very recently I have had one of those dreams.

One that lies deep at my core.

It’s a simple one. It’s a classic one. It’s downright unoriginal but here it is: to have a loving relationship and a family.

There are a million reasons why I had started to give up on this dream, but ultimately, like with your deepest longing, it was the longing itself that made it so painful. The not having it hurt too much. Being resigned to it not happening felt safer and less painful than holding out in hope that it might still one day come true.

I just couldn’t bear having this dream that I longed for, that didn’t seem to be in my reach. So I spent my energy on dealing with it not having come true. The result was a quiet sadness underneath all the joy, fun and happiness I was experiencing in my life. Not because I didn’t have a partner and family to wake up to every morning, but because I was denying my dream. I wasn’t giving it the space or the chance to grow.

I thought I’d pretty much managed to erase the dream altogether.

And then I went to a workshop in Esalen, California – all about getting in touch with yourself on a core level. And before I knew it I’d plucked this dream out of the dark and there it was unmistakeably alive and kicking and in my hands. I groaned. Not this one still.

See here is the thing:

Your dreams are alive IN you.

They start out as longings.

Your job is to create the space to bring them to life.

Having thoroughly workshopped my own dream out of an anxiety-inducing ‘let’s not even think about it, it’s just not going to happen’ to a blissfully calm and content ‘of course it’s going to happen, why wouldn’t it?’, I wanted to share with you the key steps that helped me take an old deeply buried dream and bring it back to life in a way that no longer causes me sadness and pain, but that makes me feel fuller, more complete and faithful to myself and my dreams again.

So take out your dream now. It’s time to breathe life and belief back into it:

Instructions for washing the disbelief out of your dreams and scrubbing them in sparkling reality:

1. You long for the thing that you are ready for

I’ve come to the conclusion of late that we’ve got it seriously wrong when it comes to longing. We’ve tangled it up with suffering and painful feelings of not having, not being complete, lacking in life in some big way. I think that we’re missing the whole point of longing and the critical part it plays in the whole ‘dream then make it happen’ cycle.

That feeling of longing is not a sign of something lacking, it’s the sign of a dream being ready to be brought to life. It signals the very start of a dream coming to life. It’s the seed.

2. Your dream fits you like a glove

Ask your friends what they long for, really really long for. I bet their answer will make sense to you. I bet you will be able to picture them at it because it’s just so them. It makes sense.

Well the same goes for you and what you long for. You’re longing for it because it’s an expression of who you are.  That dream fits you like a glove.
You are THE person to make that particular dream come to life.

You are having that particular dream, you are longing for that thing in life, because you are meant to one day live it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be dreaming it.

3. The dream is already alive IN you. Start to feel that and your dream will start to come to life.

Now bear with me on this one if at first this all sounds a bit of a stretch. It’s just because we are, most of us, still operating from the DO-HAVE-BE rather than the BE-DO-HAVE principle of how things come about in life. But it really does work. Try this for starters:

Step 1: Imagine what it would feel like if you were living your dream

That is the feeling of the dream already alive in you.  It’s like the seed underground of what will one day be a tree in full bloom above ground.

The tree is your dream realized. Your longing is the seed. It’s the start.

Step 2: What is an activity you can do or a place you can go where you can connect with that way of feeling on a regular basis? Is there somewhere in your body where that feeling lives? Connect with it there. Every day.

Because you need to start cultivating that feeling in you. Because as you cultivate that feeling, the dream starts to come alive and starts creating a space for it to emerge into your outside life.

When I went through these stages during the weekend workshop in Esalen I started by not even mentioning the dream that I had come up with. Then at some point, as I listened on and tried on these new ways of looking at my longings, the penny finally dropped. It was as if I finally acknowledged this dream, gave myself permission to have it, gave it the stamp of approval and the go ahead to believe in it.

As I did that I started to allow myself to feel what it would be like to be in a loving relationship and to have a family. I got comfortable in the feeling, got comfortable in the whole idea of it. Plenty of emotion came up in the process, but by the end of it I felt like a different woman. I still am feeling like a different woman. I connected with my dream, brought it to life again and now I am happily honouring it by simply allowing it to be without any fear or even thought of ‘what if it doesn’t happen?!’.

You know what? It feels totally possible and totally delicious.

I now feel confident that it will happen. No rush. But why wouldn’t it? I’m not attached to exactly how it will look, it has space to breathe and grow but I’ve noticed that my actions, my choices, my thoughts, my perspective around this whole area have shifted massively. Where there was pain and sadness, now there is ease and contentment. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s come as a huge shock! haha!

Living our dreams isn’t always the easy route. Far from it. Bringing your deepest desires to life requires being committed without being attached to a certain outcome. It requires you creating the experience you’re seeking through feeling and learning to embody it before it ever exists in the world outside of you. It requires patience, self-discovery, it requires dealing with disappointment and grief.

It sounds hard, and sometimes it is, but it is worth the effort. In bringing your longings to life you grow into your own skin, slip back into your core in a way very few other pursuits will cause you to do.

For now, it’s your go. Take that dream of yours out into the open, clean out the disbelief and breathe life and possibility back into it and let me know how it goes.”

And so there you are. Eighteen months later and I met the man that quickly became my loving partner and two years after writing this blog post we were expecting a baby.

The key for me in making that dream come true, I truly believe, was to own that dream, to take it seriously and to start making space for it and start taking action that would help me to bring that dream to life.

So let this be the encouragement YOU need to believe in your biggest deepest dreams and start doing the things that will help that dream to come true.

x Selina

🎙✨PODCAST: Emma Gannon and her amazing new book 'The Multi-Hyphen Method'

 

There are SO many reasons for why I am ridiculously excited about this week’s episode on the Project Love podcast.

First of all I got to interview one of my ALL TIME heroes.

Secondly she has just written a book which I truly believe is going to spark a MASSIVE movement in the world of work and will play a big part in encouraging people to really take their careers into their own hands and design careers that work for THEM.

I am talking about the amazing author, broadcaster and podcast host Emma Gannon and her truly brilliant book ‘The Multi-Hyphen Method’ which is about to hit the shelves on 31st May (pre-order it this minute over on Amazon).

I have been a HUGE fan of Emma and her work and in particular her Webby Award nominated podcast - Ctrl Alt Delete - for a long time. Her podcast is honestly my number #1 podcast to listen to - it has me introduced me to so many amazing female authors, entrepreneurs, thought-leaders and activists. Guests have included Liz Gilbert, Reni Eddo-Lodge and Lena Dunham to name but a few. And I LOVE the way Emma digs deep into topics with her guests in a down-to-earth, smart and insightful way.

So when I found out that Emma’s new book was focused on one of my all-time-favourite topics: working less, creating more and designing a career that works for you, I said to Vicki ‘I HAVE to interview her for the Project Love podcast and I have to get my hands on that book!’.

And so that is exactly what I did.

A few weeks later I met up with Emma (every bit as lovely in person as she is on her podcasts) in a sweltering Soho and got very excited talking with her about the new world of work that is emerging and how it is offering us exciting new opportunities to design careers that really do work for us.

So tune in, order your copy of ‘The Multi-Hyphen Method’ and let's get you designing a career that works for you.

x Selina

P.S. If you're not already subscribed to the Project Love podcast on iTunes then why not pop over and subscribe now :)

Vulnerability in action with Allysa Rochelle from the Vulnerable Podcast

 
 

This week's episode on the blog is a bit of a different one and a special one.

 I was joined by Allysa Rochelle, founder and host of the brilliant Vulnerable Podcast to talk about vulnerability and demonstrate it in action...

I am such a huge fan of Rochelle (as she likes to be called) and of the powerful work she is doing with her podcast (and beyond). I have been so inspired and learnt so much from her and her guests from their deep dives into all sorts of topics from white supremacy, to hyper-masculinity to sex after trauma - conversations that all require vulnerability and openness. 

So I reached out to Rochelle a few months ago asking if she'd come on the Project Love podcast to talk about vulnerability and the Vulnerable Podcast. 

We met up and talked and she shared a little bit about her personal story - I’d had an inkling that there was quite a big story under there and that she was very much on her own personal healing journey and we arrived at the idea that she tell her story for the first time on the Project Love podcast, embracing and demonstrating vulnerability in action. 

And so that is what we did.

As such it is quite a long podcast but I didn’t want to cut it down - I wanted Rochelle to be able to tell her story uncut. The most courageous thing any of us can do.

So thank you for joining us to create the space for Rochelle’s story to be heard. And thank YOU Rochelle for having the courage and love to share it.

x Selina

Listen to Rochelle and her Vulnerable Podcast on iTunes or Soundcloud
Follow Rochelle on Instagram @Vulnerablepodcast and @allysarochelle

Vote for what you want the next Project Love course to be all about!

Helloooooo beautiful Project Love tribe,

We are feeling full of celebration as the sun shines down (finally!) here in London and our latest Project Love creation - the new Get Ready for Love platform - has been enjoying lots of new gorgeous members and love from the press (watch this space…!).

And so now, with spring and sunshine in the air we are turning our sights to what we can grow for you next here at Project Love.

And so we want to put it to the vote: what would you MOST love our next course to be all about?

Vote below!

What would you love the next Project Love course to be all about?

>> If you are on your mobile, click here to do the survey

Create your own user feedback survey

x Selina & Vicki

 

PODCAST: Real Love Story with Natasha Lunn

So excited for you to listen to this week’s real love story interview with the fabulous Natasha Lunn.  Tune in as Natasha talks to Vicki about dating apps and 12 hour first dates, speaking your truth, wholeheartedness and choosing to go ‘all in’ on love (starting with going ‘all in’ with dating). And much much more!

This podcast is packed full of wisdom as Natasha shares her love story with Dan and also the lessons learnt from interviewing people about finding love and making it last (check out ‘Conversations on Love’ - Natasha’s bimonthly email newsletter investigating love, one conversation at a time).

So grab a cup of tea, hit play and enjoy! You can also listen on iTunes and now - *drum roll please* - on Spotify!

Really hope you enjoy this episode.

Much love,

x Selina and Vicki

P.S If you’re feeling stuck in your love life and finding dating to be frustrating and exhausting then come and join 'Get Ready for Love’, our online course that has helped 500+ women to find love. 'Get Ready for Love’ contains the 30 essential lessons that we've found to be the most effective and powerful in getting you ready for love and on your way to a happy and healthy relationship. It’s like having a love coach in your pocket, with advice, tools and guidance that can be listened to during the daily commute or en route to a date! Find out more over here.

PODCAST: Sex, self-love, orgasms and everything in between!

 

Ooh we can’t wait for you to get stuck into this week’s podcast! 

Selina got together with Victoria Helen Roberts - body image and intimacy coach and certified sexological bodyworker to talk about sex, self-pleasure, self-love, orgasms and everything in between.  

It is as juicy a podcast episode as you might expect it to be.

They talked about the taboo around discussing sex openly and honestly in our society - where that comes from and the impact it can have on us, the importance of exploring and experimenting when it comes to our bodies and what turns them on and why sometimes it’s best to take the orgasm off the menu for a bit to focus on the other aspects of sex and learning how to give your body pleasure all over. 

Victoria shared loads of practical tips about how to get back in touch with your body and improve your sex life, whether you’re in a relationship, single or somewhere in between. 

Honestly, it is SUCH a good one!

So hit play above or tune in over on iTunes and enjoy!

And as ever, if you’re a fan of our podcasts then it would make our day if you would leave us a review over on iTunes - every review makes a big difference in helping us to spread the love to even more people. 

Much love,

x Selina & Vicki

P.S. If you are used to finding our podcasts over on Soundcloud we have now moved over to Audioboom, so that soon you'll also be able to listen to our podcasts on Spotify. 

PODCAST: Real Love Story with Selina Barker

I first interviewed Selina for a real love story back in 2015. We reflected on her journey of feeling completely stuck in love and wondering if it was ever going to happen for her, to feeling an abundance of love, and not just with a loving partner (we actually revealed in the podcast that she was expecting!) but the love that she discovered from the inside out.

And now, 3 years later, Selina is back in the hot seat, but this time to tell a much deeper love story.

This is a journey of hitting rock bottom in life and rising strong, healing and finding your way back home with love as your compass. A journey that starts and ends with ourselves.

This is a story that has never been told before and I’m actually hearing it for the first time. There is such a beautiful sense of vulnerability and intimacy to it. It’s everything our podcasts are about - hearing women opening up and sharing from the heart. And that takes real courage. Thank you Selina, it was an honour to hold the space and to hear you tell your story, your REAL love story.

 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

V xxx

P.S. next week (21st March), we’re running a free Masterclass  ‘A modern approach to finding love’ so if you’re feeling stuck in your love life then come and join us! Head here to save your seat (we’ll send you the recording if you can’t join us live)

P.P.S  'Get Ready for Love’ (our online course to help you to transform your love life) is on its way back 🎉🎉🎉 and almost (ALMOST!) ready to be released back into the world with all new videos, brand new bonus audios from amazing guests and a whole new sparkly platform to access the whole course...watch out for exciting announcements later this week! We are SO excited for you to get your hands on it!!!

PODCAST | Lessons from the world's first and only Happyologist!

 
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This week we caught up with the world’s first and only Happyologist - Susanna Halonen

Susanna has made it her life’s work to study happiness and is author of ‘Screw Finding your Passion’ and ‘Happiness is here - a 30 day guide to joy and fulfilment’.

She describes herself as a born pessimist who trained herself to be a happy optimist and now helps others to do the same.

So we joined her in her flat in London with her big cuddly dog to dive deep into the topic of happiness and what it really takes to live a happy and fulfilled life.

 

We talked about:

  • How happiness as a practice (just like love) and not a destination and certainly not a permanent state we can maintain 24/7.
  • The importance of allowing ourselves to feel negative emotions and how they in fact play an important role in us cultivating happiness in life.
  • How being successful in life is not what brings about happiness, but quite the opposite: cultivating happiness TODAY in your life is what will in fact help you to achieve your dreams.

Plus Susanna shares her top tips on practicing happiness on a day to day basis and even showed us how to make a gratitude practice even more powerful.

So snuggle up and enjoy a deep dive into happiness. We guarantee it will make you smile :)

And if you’re a fan of our podcast then make sure you subscribe over on iTunes aaaaaand we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review - every review helps us to spread the love that little bit further. Plus it makes our day.

x Selina & Vicki

P.S. For any recruitment consultants out there, we laughed at the idea of Selina once having a stint as a recruitment consultant, not to disrespect recruitment consultants, but because the idea of Selina in any office job always makes us laugh (think wild animal in a cage not being able to sit still).

Discover what you really want to do with your life (and how to get paid for it)

It’s Selina here and I’m so excited for you to hit play on this week’s podcast. It is dedicated to those of you that are feeling stuck and miserable in your career, but don’t know what else you could do (or you have some ideas but can't choose which one to go for). And even more so if you love the idea of doing your own thing and being your own boss, but you just don’t know how to find that ‘right’ thing. Because THAT is what my guest on the podcast this week is ALL about.

Say hello to the wonderful Marianne Cantwell!

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Marianne is best-selling author of ‘Be a Free Range Human - THE book that I always recommend when it comes to discovering what you love to do and finding a career that gives you fulfilment and freedom. She also delivered a killer TED Talk last year on ‘The power and importance of not (always) fitting in’ that has had almost 200,000 views to date.

And when it comes to creating a career for yourself that doesn’t require you leaving a piece of yourself at the door, then Marianne is your woman.

In fact together we’ve been designing and running courses to help people bust out of careers that make them miserable and show them how to create a career out of doing something they LOVE for almost a decade (!) And we are back together again after a 2 year break to run our most popular course - the Ideas Adventure - a 6 week online programme to help you discover what you really want to do with your life and how to get paid for it (sign up here if you want to find out more).

And so I invited Marianne to join me for this week’s episode to dive deep into…well all of it.

We talked about how to know when a traditional job is not for you (a lot of us simply aren’t suited to being employees!), how it’s not a case of having a job OR running your own business - there are all sorts of options out there for you - and how it’s not about finding the career that’s right for you, but creating the career that’s right for you. Plus a whole lot more.

There is nothing that Marianne and I love more than getting together to dive deep into the topic of escaping the 9 to 5 and creating a career you love so it was hard frankly to keep the podcast to under an hour. But I sort of managed it… 🤫

 

So I hope you enjoy it and if figuring out a new career direction is on your mind and listening to the two of us got you feeling fired up then click here to learn more about the Ideas Adventure over the next few weeks 💛

I hope to see some of you joining us on the journey. It will be my main focus in April :)

And as ever, if you enjoy this podcast and our podcasts in general then please do subscribe over on iTunes and leave us a review - you will make us very happy!

Much love,

x Selina

P.S. I am not currently taking on any 1-2-1 coaching clients so if you would like my help in figuring out a way of earning a living doing something that you love then the Ideas Adventure is THE way to work with me (and it is a LOT of fun)!

Our brand new Project Love *free* audio workshop | 'Self Love for busy women'

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Happy Day of Love!!!!!!!!! 💗 💗 💗

As we do every year, we are hijacking Valentine’s Day and making it all about SELF-love.

And to celebrate this special day we have created a brand new audio workshop for you: ‘Self Love for Busy Women’ - an in-depth workshop on the topic of self-love and how to find smart and easy ways to give yourself the love you need, even when you have a jam-packed schedule and barely any time for lunch!

If you're already part of the Project Love tribe then a link to the workshop will already be sitting in your inbox. Otherwise head on over here to sign up and we'll send you the workshop straight away!

In the workshop you will learn:

  • What we actually mean by self-love (and no, it’s not all bubble baths and expensive body lotions)
  • Why self-love is a radical act that has the power to transform your whole life
  • How to start a self-love practice if you’ve never done it before (and how to up your game if you have!)
  • Our four favourite ways to practice self-love
  • How to make TIME for a self-love practice, no matter how busy you are
  • How to use your calendar as your canvas to make self-love a permanent fixture in your life

    We've designed this audio workshop for you to keep in your back pocket and use any time you've managed to get so busy doing other things that you've accidentally forgotten about one of the most important people in your life...YOU.

Because loving yourself isn’t just a nice to have. It is the KEY to you living a life that you LOVE.

Because when you learn to truly love yourself and become THE source of love in your own life, everything changes. Your life transforms from the inside out.

If you're looking for a loving partner in life then self-love is the magic that will attract that person in.

If you have ambitions for this year - things you want to make happen, goals you want to achieve - then self-love is the fuel that will help you make it happen while remaining grounded, fulfilled and in flow.

If you’re in a relationship, self-love will feed and nourish that relationship, keeping the flames of love alight and if you're a mother, wanting to create a happy home for you and your family, then self-love is the key.

So let’s make this the year that we ALL take a stand together, reclaim ownership of our time and make self-love a TOP priority in our lives.

It's time for a self-love revolution!

So download the 'Self love for busy women' audio workshop and let's get it started!

x Selina & Vicki

PODCAST: Real Love Story with Caroline Atkinson

 

So excited to share this podcast with you - a real love story with a friend of mine, Caroline Atkinson, whose love story with Gus spans almost 10 years.

We talk about relationship challenges, the incredible lessons learnt from spending 6 years apart, the importance of taking responsibility for your own happiness and the absolute joy of brunching on your own.

I remember attending a talk with Alain de Botton and he made reference to the fact that novels and films (in particular, fairy tales and rom coms) often don't give us a correct map of love and 'leave us unprepared to deal adequately with the difficulties of being in a couple'. And so we grow up with slightly unrealistic notions of love and what it means to be in a relationship. Hearing Caroline share her story really helped me to understand this more deeply and how we can update our 'map of love' to be more in-line with the realities of relating in today's world. 

I was so inspired by Caroline's journey of self discovery and self love and how she and Gus were able to start a new chapter in their relationship and the strength and vulnerability that requires, on both parts. I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved recording it.

V xxx

 

 

Your calendar is your canvas

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As many of you are spending this month dreaming and planning for the year ahead we wanted to share with you a tool that is a must-have when it comes to life designing.

Because while the dreaming and planning part can all be very exciting, there isn’t much point to it if they remain forgotten in a notebook.

What you need is the real-life version of a magic wand that will help to bring those dreams and desires to life.

Welcome to the ultimate life design tool:

A calendar.

When it comes to designing and living a life you love, your calendar is your canvas.

Plenty of us use calendars in our day to day lives to keep on top of things at work and do what needs to be done. But the magic happens when you start to use it to create your life, by taking your list of things you want to fill your life with - from time with friends, to more sleep, to a monthly massage, to changing career -  and giving each of those things dedicated time and dates in your diary.

Suddenly your dreams and desires are now booked and ready to happen.

Here is how to do it.

If you did our Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 guide you will now have a beautiful book full of things you want to fill your 2018 with, so let’s get that list out.

If you didn’t do it then take a page and write down the activities, people, places, projects that you would like to fill your life with in 2018.

Include on your list any activities and practices you know you need on a daily or weekly basis to feel well, energised and calm in your body eg. proper breakfast to start the day, exercise twice a week, 8 hours sleep a night, a massage once a month.

Now get out your calendar (paper or digital, that’s up to you) and let’s start booking these things into your life and designing your day, your week, your month, your year, so that you are filling it with the things, people and places you love.

Daily commitments

Always begin with your wellbeing. It is THE foundation to a happy life. So start by looking at your daily calendar and book in the things you know you need to feel well and happy in your body, but that you often let slip.

So, for example, if starting the day with a nourishing breakfast is an important one for you, but something you usually forget to do, then get that in your diary as a daily date with yourself, setting your alarm to get you up 15 minutes earlier if necessary.

Eventually those nourishing breakfasts in the morning will become a natural part of your normal routine and you won’t have to schedule them, but until that happens, keep them as firm dates in your calendar.

Weekly commitments

Now let’s look at what you want to book in on a regular weekly basis as a fixed commitment - things you want to do for your wellbeing and happiness eg. time for exercise, dates with yourself, hobbies etc

Decide when in the week you want to commit to doing these things and book them in.

Also book in time each week dedicated to focus on any big changes or dreams you’re wanting to make happen in 2018. By creating dedicated time to focus on them, those changes and dreams are far more likely to happen.

Monthly commitments

Next schedule in the things you want to do monthly -  eg a massage, trip to the countryside, dinner for friends etc. If you need time to research, invite friends, make bookings in advance for these things to happen, then make sure you book in time for that too.

One-off yearly commitments

Finally, take a step back and look at your whole year ahead and block in time for the fun adventures, holidays, courses and outings you want to enjoy throughout the year, even if for now you can only pencil them in because you’re not yet sure on the exact dates.

Again, if any of these require a good amount of planning and research, then block out time to do that too.

And there you have it. A calendar that now has all your ingredients for a happy life firmly woven into it.

Now all you have to do is stick to those commitments. But that is for another blog post ;)

For now, enjoy painting that canvas of yours with the things you love and let us know how you get on.

X Selina & Vicki

What could ‘Design a Life You Love’ do for YOU?… (P.S. starts THIS Monday!)

What could our 'Design a Life You Love' course get YOU doing?...

Ever wondered what it’s like to really go after a dream? To quit that job…go on a big traveling adventure…change career…follow your heart?

Well Francesca dal Bello now certainly does!

Francesca joined us this time last year on our 'Design a Life You Love’ 4 week online course. She knew it was time for change, but she didn’t know what or how or where…so her friend Emma signed her up to our 'Design a Life You Love'  course…one year later they are BOTH living their dreams. Emma has moved from London to Egypt and Francesca is…well, we’ll let her show you what she’s been up to…

Watch Francesca’s message from Goa below as she shares how she quit her job after 16 years with the same company and the adventures she has been on since (and there have been a lot for one year!) ...
 


It is amazing what can happen when you take the time to really get clear on what it is YOU need in life to be happy and fulfilled, when you listen to your dreams and allow yourself to take them seriously. Even the biggest dreams can be broken down into practical steps and projects.

And THAT is what we teach you in our Design a Life You Love course: how to get clear on what life will make you happy and then how to create that life for yourself.

Over the course of 4 weeks, you will…

  • Get clear on the key ingredients YOU need to be happy and fulfilled in life
  • Unlock your dreams and start taking those dreams seriously
  • Create a vision and a picture of what you want your life to look like in 2018 (and beyond)
  • Design a practical plan that will bring that vision to life
  • Clear the blocks that get in the way of you living life the way you really want to
  • Learn the practical and powerful life design tools that will help you to create a life you love this year and beyond
  • Get inspired and share your journey with a whole tribe of other life designers making their own dreams and ideas happen

We run 'Design a Life You Love' once a year. And the 2018 course starts TOMORROW! 

So whether you're looking to make a change in your life in 2018, wanting to make a dream or idea happen or if you simply want to make 2018 a year where you make it less about work and more about YOU, come and join us on our 'Design a Life You Love in 2018' course and we’ll help you make it happen.

See you there!

x Selina & Vicki

Tip #1 of our 5 TOP TIPS to help you as you design your 2018

We’re getting our excitement on over at Project Love HQ with just FIVE DAYS TO GO until ‘Design a Life You Love in 2018’ kicks off - our 4 week online course that has you creating a beautiful vision for your 2018 and a practical plan of how you’re going to bring that vision to life (find out ALL about it and sign yourself up over here). 

To celebrate, Selina has whipped up 5 top tips to Designing a Life you Love - here is your first one for today. 

You can catch the rest over on YouTube

And if you’ve been thinking about signing up to the course, but haven’t yet, then why not make it your treat to yourself for today and sign up!

And we’ll see you on Monday when the party gets started! 

Don’t have your 2018 plan all figured out yet? Don't panic!

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There is a strange kind of panic we’ve noticed flooding the social media waves at the moment, coming from people that seem to be feeling a pressure that they should have stepped into the new year with a fully formed plan for 2018, with some big fabulous dreams to impress the world with and a clear vision of how they are going to make it all happen.

And that they should be leaping into action already bringing those dazzling dreams to life.

How exhausting!

Now I know at Project Love we’re all about creating a big beautiful vision and plan for the year ahead, BUT… we don’t expect you to have it all figured out by now. No way!

Why would you?

In the run up to Christmas we barely have time to pause for breath and then, I don’t know about you, but I like to switch off from EVERYTHING over the Xmas hols: from work, from dreams, from plotting and planning. The whole lot.

I simplify life down so that my top concerns boil down to whether I should crack open that fresh new tray of Ferrero Roche or tuck into some of the left over cheese before the next film starts.

And so when the 1st Jan comes around, I couldn’t be further from having a clear vision for the year ahead.

In fact this year I didn’t do my ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ until this weekend and we haven’t even started on our vision and plan for Project Love…

So are we panicking and feeling like we’re falling behind?

NOOOOOOOOO.

Because at Project Love we don’t expect anyone, including ourselves, to have figured out their full 2018 vision and plan by the first week of Jan. Frankly we don’t even expect you to have figured it out by the end of Jan.

Because we have found over the years, that the first SIX weeks of the new year are the perfect time for dreaming and planning and it’s not until mid Feb that we expect to have a clear vision and a plan for the year ahead.

Why?

Because we know that getting clear on what dreams you want to follow and what you want to fill your life with for an entire year takes time.

  • Time to explore and get clear on what it is you really need this year, to be happy and fulfilled.
     
  • Time to allow your dreams to come to the surface and choose the ones you really want to go for this year.
     
  • Time to create a vision and a picture of what you want your life to look like in 2018.
     
  • Time to design a practical plan that will help you to bring that vision to life in the year to come.
     
  • And time to lovingly deal with the doubts and fears that invariably come up when you dare to dream.

Which is why we don’t run our ‘Design a Life You Love in 2018’ course in December, we don’t even run it from the start of January.

We kick things off MID Jan.

Because we know from experience that it takes a good two weeks to get back into the swing of things after Christmas. And we like to give you 4 weeks to go through the Design a Life You Love process so that you have the time you need to really tune into your heart, try ideas on for size, sit with your dreams and really feel into what you really want this year to be all about.

So that by mid February you have a vision and a plan for the year ahead that really feels like the right vision and plan for you.

So if you’ve been feeling like you’re already falling behind one week into the new year and you should already know what your vision and goals are for 2018, then put your feet up and CHILL. You have plenty of time. You don’t even have to have started yet!

Enjoy these early weeks of the year - do whatever makes you feel good. Because at the end of the day ‘doing what makes you feel good’ IS the foundation to living a life you love. So start there.

And on 15th Jan, come and join us (and women from all over the world) as we set off on a 4 week journey that will help you create that vision and plan for 2018 that will have you following your sweetest dreams and filling your life with the things that will really make you happy. 

We can’t wait to go on this journey with you.

x Selina

Our most popular 'Project Love' Podcasts for 2017

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As you get ready to pull the shutters down and fill your days with simple pleasures over the Christmas hols, we thought we'd set you up with a list of the most popular 'Project Love' podcasts THIS YEAR so that you can download them and fill your ears with them while you rest, eat and be merry.

It has been so wonderful to have so many people taking the time to tune in, and we can't wait to share more with you in the new year!

1. PODCAST | Women who follow their hearts | interview with Victoria Roberts

I got to interview one of my coaching clients - the wonderful Victoria Roberts. She has been on a beautiful journey of transformation over the last few years and I wanted her to share her story to inspire others that it is never too late to change more...

2. PODCAST: Interview with Chloe Brotheridge, author of 'The Anxiety Solution'

An interview Chloe Brotheridge, author of 'The Anxiety Solution: A Quieter Mind, a Calmer You'. Chloe, a clinical hypnotherapist and anxiety expert, wrote 'The Anxiety Solution' to help women manage modern anxiety triggers like perfectionism, social media pressure, people pleasing, fear of failure and fear of success.

3. PODCAST | How to set healthy boundaries and learn the art of saying 'no'

This Podcast is all about the importance of setting healthy boundaries and learning to say 'no' (the loving way). It’s a topic that has been coming up a lot lately among our Project Love communities and our friends. It seems to be something everyone knows they need to get good at, but they get stuck on how to do it.

4. PODCAST | How burn out and anxiety lead Kim Murray to find her purpose in life…benefitting us all!

We invited Kim Murray, founder of Happy Heads, into the Project Love studio so that she could share her beautiful story of transformation, that began with burn out and panic attacks brought on by a highly stressful period at work and had her going on a journey that not only brought her health back and left her feeling happier than ever before, but it also lead to her changing career and starting Happy Heads where she now teaches adults and children simple mindful tools to help them live happier, calmer and stress-free lives.

5. Imposter Syndrome...do you suffer from it?

This juicy podcast is on 'Imposter Syndrome' - something that a LOT of people seem to suffer from these days.
It's that feeling that any minute now you're going to be found out for being a fraud. That you're not everything people seem to think you are. That you don't deserve the position you have. That it's all been a big mistake and soon people are going to figure it out.
So why are so many people, including a lot of big name celebrities, suffering from this? And if it's something you suffer from, what can you do about it?

Lots of love

Selina & Vicki xxxx

 

For more Podcasts from Project Love click here

PODCAST with Naomi Mdudu | How to bring about BIG change in your life & grow a business in which you flourish

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This week’s podcast is SUCH an energiser!

Selina invited Naomi Mdudu, founder of The Lifestyle Edit, onto this week's Project Love podcast show to share her amazing story of how she brought about BIG change in almost every area of her life after her 'dream job' as a fashion editor & an unhealthy relationship left her burnt out and miserable. She went on to start her own business, transform her love life and moved from London to New York all within about a year!

Since then she has been interviewing and working with hundreds of inspiring female entrepreneurs all over the world and has soooo much to share and so much guidance to offer when it comes to starting and growing a successful business.

Naomi is so inspiring, wise and beautifully vulnerable in the way she talks about her journey and her experiences and she is a natural talent when it comes to guiding others in growing a successful business in which they can flourish.

So if you are feeling ready to make a BIG change in life, if you run your own biz, if you’re in a relationship that just isn’t working, if you’re exhausted and you know something needs to change but you don’t know what, frankly if you have a beating heart, then this podcast is for you.

Listen in below or subscribe to all of our podcasts over on iTunes!

 

And if you fall in love with Naomi as much as we did and want more from her then head on over and sign up to her newsletter and check out her podcast over on The Lifestyle Edit.

PODCAST: The art of intuitive eating, listening to your body and feeding your soul

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To celebrate 'Self-Care Week’ this week we invited holistic nutritionist and founder of Rooted London, the delicious Pandora Symes, to join Selina for a deep-dive into the topic of intuitive eating, how to listen to your body and the importance of feeding your soul with what it really needs. 

This one is guaranteed to nourish and might even get you falling a little more in love with that clever and beautiful body of yours.

Have a listen below or download it over on iTunes (and don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5 star review when you’re over there ;) )

x Selina & Vicki

 

To find out more about Pandora & the coaching, workshops and online courses she has to offer (and for a website PACKED with amazing recipes) visit http://www.rootedlondon.com/

The power of setting intentions - another key tool in your life design toolkit

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In our last podcast ‘Why we all have to learn to dream again’ we talked about the power of allowing yourself to dream and taking those dreams seriously as a key tool in both designing a life you love and in bringing about the changes you want to see in the world.

In today’s podcast we talk about the power of setting intentions as another key tool in your life design and change-making toolkit.

From seven years of watching people go through our ‘Goodbye, Hello’ process, we have found this to be one of the single most powerful parts of the process. And what is interesting is to see the different ways these intentions can be used - either as a way to stay focused throughout the year on what is most important to you OR as a bit of a magic spell - casting out the intention into your year without having any idea exactly how it will manifest, but finding that the intention works as a magic seed with a life of it’s own that grows in all sorts of different (and often very unexpected) ways.

Come and join us for a half hour deep dive into the topic and if you’ve never tried it before, have a go at doing it yourself this month and see what it does for you.

 

Aaaand we are just a few more backers away from hitting 70% of our Kickstarter goal and at this rate we should hit the full target by next week! So if you haven’t ordered your copy of ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ but have been planning to, then please do it today to help us towards that funding goal!

xx Selina & Vicki