PODCAST | Real Love Story with our very own Love Coach Vicki Pavitt

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

This week we had our very own Vicki Pavitt in the hot seat telling her own Real Love Story. One thing you might not know about Vicki is that she finds telling her own story nerve wracking, so this is a real act of vulnerability for Vicki and I am so grateful for her courage because this interview offered sooo much in the way of inspiration and deep conversation about love, relationships and how to navigate doubts and fears at the start of relationships and how to help your relationship to flourish over the years.

This really is such a gorgeous, honest, open, heart-warmer of an interview. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did recording it.

Head over now to Apple podcasts or Spotify to listen in to Vicki’s Real Love Story.  

And if you haven’t listened to it for a while, then I highly recommend that you listen to the Real Love Story interview with Vicki’s partner, Mark (otherwise known as Pav) just before they got married two years ago - it’s amazing to hear two sides of a love story.


x Selina

P.S. If you are a fan of our podcasts then we would love you to leave a 5-star review over on Apple Podcasts. It will make our day!



PODCAST | Can self help change your life - interview with author of ‘Help Me!’, Marianne Power

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

We cannot wait for you to listen to this week’s episode because we got to interview Marianne Power as she talked to us about her brilliant new book ‘Help Me! One woman’s quest to find out if self-help really can change her life”. A book which saw her road test one self-help book a month for a year!

The quest for happiness is something a lot of us can relate to and Marianne describes this with such refreshing honesty and intimacy. As she says in the podcast ‘“Being a human is a really up and down road” and maybe realising that we do not need to be fixed (because we are not broken) and that we are already good enough as we are, is the most liberating discovery we could ever have in life.

We came away from this interview feeling so full of love and compassion. There is such a beautiful vulnerability in the way that Marianne shares her story in the book, it is so deeply personal and moving whilst also being wonderfully funny. It feels like 'Help me' could be the next Bridget Jones for our generation

‘Help Me!’ is out on 6th September and available for pre-order now over here.

Let us know what you think of the podcast and the book!

x Vicki and Selina

Podcast | Heartbreak - how to handle it and how to help our friends through it

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

This week's episode is one for everyone to listen to, whether you're going through heart break right now or not. 

Because heartbreak is an inevitable part of life, particularly when you put yourself out there in life and do things like follow your dreams and get into deep relationships with other beautifully complex human beings. And yet, while no-one gets through life without experiencing a painful heartbreak at least once (if not numerous times), when it does happen to us or the people we love, it seems that we are often at a total loss as how to deal with it.

So we decided it was time to dig deep into the topic, explore the science behind heartbreak and why it can be SO painful (yes, people CAN die from heartbreak!), share different women's tips on how to get through those early days of heartbreak, see if there is any way to avoid heartbreak in life, look at how heartbreak can often be turned into an opportunity for growth and making positive change in your life AND discuss how we can support our loved ones when they are going through painful heartbreak.

Told you it was a juicy one!

This was a truly heart-warming and touching episode to create, thanks to all of the women who shared their stories of heart break with us and of how they overcame some hugely heartbreaking moments in life. You are our heroes.

Thank you.

x Selina & Vicki

PODCAST | Time to review your 2018 and how it's gone so far!

This week we’ve created a podcast episode designed to take you through a 6 month review of your 2018 so far and help you create a plan for the second half of the year. We did this ourselves before recording this podcast and it was so powerful (you’ll find out why when you listen in!)

In this podcast we take you through a simple but powerful process that helps you to look back on your 2018 so far and reflect on all that you’ve done, all that has happened in your life, all that you’re proud of and all that you’ve learnt along the way. We’ll then take a look at what you’d like the next 6 months to be all about, any intentions you’d like to make, dreams you’d like to bring to life and any goals you’d like to set for yourself.

We’ll be sharing with you nuggets from our own journeys as well as stories from our Project Love tribe to see how they’ve got on with sticking to their commitments and dreams  We’ll also be taking you through the key lessons learnt along the way and what it takes to design a life you love.

So grab a pen and paper and listen in as we take you through the 6 month review process (questions below).

 

The 6 month review questions:

  • How are you feeling at the moment?
  • What has been happening in your life since Jan 2018?
  • What have you done that you’re proud of?
  • What have been your happiest moments?
  • What have been your most challenging moments?
  • What would you like to do less of over the next 6 months?
  • What would you like to do more of over the next 6 months?
  • What 3 things do you want to commit to doing over the next 6 months (they can be specific goals or intentions)?

And we’d love to hear your stories of how you’ve been getting on, particularly if you’ve done our ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ journal at the start of the year:

Has doing ‘Goodbye, Hello’ had a positive impact on you already this year or helped you to make changes in your life or reach goals that you might not have otherwise? Do drop us an email on hello@loveprojectlove.com, we’d love to share your stories and celebrate all the ways that ‘Goodbye, Hello’ has helped you to design a life you love (big and small!) as we get ready for the launch of ‘Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019’ (exciting announcements coming soon on that one!)

So much love,

x Vicki & Selina 

PODCAST | Why we all need to learn how to grieve - interview with co-founder of the Bridge, Donna Lancaster

I never thought grief would be a topic I’d get excited about…I thought it was something that you went through when you lost a loved one. Something hard and painful that you had to endure until hopefully, one day, you were out the other side.

But then I met Donna Lancaster and did her Bridge Retreat (which she co-founded with fellow psychotherapist Gabi Krueger) - a six-day deep healing experience that was honestly THE most profound journey I have ever been on (you can find out all about it over here). I have done a lot of individual and group self-development and healing over the years and nothing compares to this. It’s an emotional detox that brings you back in connection with yourself, others and the world in a way that is truly, deeply, life changing.

Both Vicki and I did the Bridge Retreat last year and we’ve been recommending it to our friends and clients ever since, particularly when they are feeling at a crossroads in life, feeling lost, burnt out or feeling ready to do some deep healing work on old wounds.

And one of the key parts of the Bridge experience is learning how to grieve. And not just grieve the loss of loved ones who have passed away (although it is great for that), but to grieve any and all kinds of loss in life - from loss of innocence, to divorce, losing the life you once knew after having kids, losing connection with yourself during a bout of depression, losing a parent that moved out when you were young etc.

Giving yourself the time, space and tools to deeply grieve returns you to yourself and in full connection with your heart in a way that you may not have ever have ever experienced before.

As Donna says:

“Through allowing and supporting the natural order of the grieving process to flow, people find themselves remembering who they really are and living from this true place. When there is ‘unfinished business’ in our lives, it is very hard to move on and engage with life fully. Grieving allows us to cross the bridge from past hurts and sorrow into a place of lightness and joy.”

And THAT is why we’re so in love with the topic of grief and grieving now too. Because we’ve experienced first-hand how it returns you to yourself and guides you back into a place of love, connection, wholeness and joy.

Which is why we’ve been wanting to get Donna on the podcast, ever since we did the Bridge, to talk about grief, love, healing, ritual and so much more and so that you could spend some time yourself with Donna who truly is an amazing woman, with so much wisdom and love to offer (not to mention 25 years of experience in working with individuals and groups and training with some of the most amazing teachers in the world). Even just 45 minutes of her on this podcast will leave you feeling somehow lighter.

>>> Listen to the podcast now by hitting play above or heading over to Apple Podcast or Spotify (we celebrate every new review we get on Apple podcast, so we'd love it if you added one!)

So as you go about your day to day this week or as you lie enjoying the sun on holiday, tune into this episode and let Donna’s words inspire and move you.

And if you want MORE from Donna then head over to the Vulnerable Podcast where our friend Rochelle also interviewed Donna (we literally tag teamed that day) where they talk about Donna’s personal story which is SO powerful, our warrior sides and how we seek out partners that are like our parents when we haven’t healed those wounds…and a whole lot more.

Basically, make this a Donna Lancaster week - she is true magic.

Thank you Donna.

x Selina
P.S. In our next episode we’ll be doing a half-way through the year review - a chance for us all to take a step back and see how the first half of the year has gone and create a plan and a focus for the next 6 months. If you did your Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 then bring it along to the next podcast session!

Why self-love is key when it comes to finding love and making love last

Today we’re celebrating the 3rd birthday of Get Ready for Love - our 30 lesson online course that helps women to transform their love lives from the inside out.

It truly has been such a powerful course - in the three years since we launched it, 600+ women have been through the course, discovering the power of self-love and how to open up to invite love into their lives - we’ve already had a number of weddings and even babies amongst our Get Ready for Love community and we have received some wonderful features in the press with a fresh new one coming out in Red magazine in just a couple of weeks!

But what has been the most powerful of all has been to see so many women discover the power of self-love. They come alive with it and we get to witness it every day in the Love Zone - the incredible online community that has grown up around the Get Ready for Love course.

So we decided to dedicate this next Project Love podcast episode to the power and importance of self love when it comes to both finding love and making love last.

And we invited members of the Love Zone to share their stories and lessons on love with us so that we could share them with you, both in this podcast episode and on a brand new gallery we now have here where you can read stories and lessons on love shared by women who have been through the Get Ready for Love course. They are so moving!

So press play on this latest episode below or over on Apple podcast or Spotify and feed up on the love!

X Vicki & Selina

Friendship: the love, the heartbreak and the hierarchy we need to get rid of!

 

We have a fresh new episode for you today and we can’t wait for you to hear it and get involved in the conversation with us over on instagram. Because today we are looking at a topic that we have all had strong experiences in: friendship.

Our friendships have the capacity to give us every bit as much love, connection, pain, heartbreak, growth and belonging as our romantic relationships and when it comes to friendships between women, there is plenty of research that proves that close female friendships are essential to our happiness and health.

So in this episode we looked at the power of friendship, the pain that can come with friendship break ups, how to make new friends as an adult and how to deal with the ‘friends’ that you realise aren’t treating you right and, perhaps the juiciest of all, how to handle the relationship hierarchy that seems to be at play in our society that relegates friendships to bottom rung once partners and kids come along. It was one of the biggest topics that came up when we got this conversation started over on instagram and the Love Zone last week. And it’s time we challenged that hierarchy and brought an end to it. It’s no good for anyone!

So hit play above or over at Apple Podcast and then carry on the conversation with us over on instagram @loveprojectlove

Oooooor let us know what you think of this latest episode (or the podcast as a whole) over on Apple Podcast (a 5* review would make our day ;) ).

Lots of love,

Selina & Vicki

Proof that you CAN consciously make your own dreams come true

I’ve been browsing through my old blog posts (I was an avid blogger for a good seven years before turning to podcasts) and I found one that really blew me away.

If you have a big dream that you would love to make come true, but you’re kind of avoiding it and not doing anything about it because a part of you just isn’t sure if it really is possible for you or if you are longing for a loving partnership in your life and wondering if It’s really ever going to happen for you, then read this blog post that I wrote four and a half years ago. Because knowing what we know now about what happened in my life just six months later, it gives a very compelling argument that you really CAN make your dreams come true. Even the big ones that you slightly fear can never happen for you.

At the time of writing the blog post I was single and had been single for a frustrated eight years. It was my life long dream to be in a loving relationship and have a family. But I hadn’t wanted to ever fully admit it. I just didn’t feel that that dream aligned with being a strong independent woman or perhaps deep down I was just very afraid it was never going to happen.

In this blog post I shared how for the first time I was finally owning my dream and the steps I was taking to help bring this dream to life.

Exactly two years later after grabbing hold of my dream and really owning it for the first time I was in the loving partnership I had been dreaming of and we had just found out we were expecting a child.

This is why I love doing what I do. Because it really does work. You can be the person that makes your dreams come true. And here, handily in this blog post. I give you step by step instructions on how to do that!

Read the blog post over on loveprojectlove.com and please drop me an email back and let me know if this post struck a chord. I love hearing from you guys.

x S

Here are the steps I took that I truly believed helped to make that dream come true:

"Do you have a dream that you don’t even dare to admit because you want it so much that it hurts and so you avoid it altogether? One that makes your heart ache when you think about it and so you’ve set your life up to distract you from the fact that you don’t live that dream?

A dream that lives right at the core of you, but that you fear probably isn’t ever going to happen for you and so you keep it buried?

Well up until very recently I have had one of those dreams.

One that lies deep at my core.

It’s a simple one. It’s a classic one. It’s downright unoriginal but here it is: to have a loving relationship and a family.

There are a million reasons why I had started to give up on this dream, but ultimately, like with your deepest longing, it was the longing itself that made it so painful. The not having it hurt too much. Being resigned to it not happening felt safer and less painful than holding out in hope that it might still one day come true.

I just couldn’t bear having this dream that I longed for, that didn’t seem to be in my reach. So I spent my energy on dealing with it not having come true. The result was a quiet sadness underneath all the joy, fun and happiness I was experiencing in my life. Not because I didn’t have a partner and family to wake up to every morning, but because I was denying my dream. I wasn’t giving it the space or the chance to grow.

I thought I’d pretty much managed to erase the dream altogether.

And then I went to a workshop in Esalen, California – all about getting in touch with yourself on a core level. And before I knew it I’d plucked this dream out of the dark and there it was unmistakeably alive and kicking and in my hands. I groaned. Not this one still.

See here is the thing:

Your dreams are alive IN you.

They start out as longings.

Your job is to create the space to bring them to life.

Having thoroughly workshopped my own dream out of an anxiety-inducing ‘let’s not even think about it, it’s just not going to happen’ to a blissfully calm and content ‘of course it’s going to happen, why wouldn’t it?’, I wanted to share with you the key steps that helped me take an old deeply buried dream and bring it back to life in a way that no longer causes me sadness and pain, but that makes me feel fuller, more complete and faithful to myself and my dreams again.

So take out your dream now. It’s time to breathe life and belief back into it:

Instructions for washing the disbelief out of your dreams and scrubbing them in sparkling reality:

1. You long for the thing that you are ready for

I’ve come to the conclusion of late that we’ve got it seriously wrong when it comes to longing. We’ve tangled it up with suffering and painful feelings of not having, not being complete, lacking in life in some big way. I think that we’re missing the whole point of longing and the critical part it plays in the whole ‘dream then make it happen’ cycle.

That feeling of longing is not a sign of something lacking, it’s the sign of a dream being ready to be brought to life. It signals the very start of a dream coming to life. It’s the seed.

2. Your dream fits you like a glove

Ask your friends what they long for, really really long for. I bet their answer will make sense to you. I bet you will be able to picture them at it because it’s just so them. It makes sense.

Well the same goes for you and what you long for. You’re longing for it because it’s an expression of who you are.  That dream fits you like a glove.
You are THE person to make that particular dream come to life.

You are having that particular dream, you are longing for that thing in life, because you are meant to one day live it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be dreaming it.

3. The dream is already alive IN you. Start to feel that and your dream will start to come to life.

Now bear with me on this one if at first this all sounds a bit of a stretch. It’s just because we are, most of us, still operating from the DO-HAVE-BE rather than the BE-DO-HAVE principle of how things come about in life. But it really does work. Try this for starters:

Step 1: Imagine what it would feel like if you were living your dream

That is the feeling of the dream already alive in you.  It’s like the seed underground of what will one day be a tree in full bloom above ground.

The tree is your dream realized. Your longing is the seed. It’s the start.

Step 2: What is an activity you can do or a place you can go where you can connect with that way of feeling on a regular basis? Is there somewhere in your body where that feeling lives? Connect with it there. Every day.

Because you need to start cultivating that feeling in you. Because as you cultivate that feeling, the dream starts to come alive and starts creating a space for it to emerge into your outside life.

When I went through these stages during the weekend workshop in Esalen I started by not even mentioning the dream that I had come up with. Then at some point, as I listened on and tried on these new ways of looking at my longings, the penny finally dropped. It was as if I finally acknowledged this dream, gave myself permission to have it, gave it the stamp of approval and the go ahead to believe in it.

As I did that I started to allow myself to feel what it would be like to be in a loving relationship and to have a family. I got comfortable in the feeling, got comfortable in the whole idea of it. Plenty of emotion came up in the process, but by the end of it I felt like a different woman. I still am feeling like a different woman. I connected with my dream, brought it to life again and now I am happily honouring it by simply allowing it to be without any fear or even thought of ‘what if it doesn’t happen?!’.

You know what? It feels totally possible and totally delicious.

I now feel confident that it will happen. No rush. But why wouldn’t it? I’m not attached to exactly how it will look, it has space to breathe and grow but I’ve noticed that my actions, my choices, my thoughts, my perspective around this whole area have shifted massively. Where there was pain and sadness, now there is ease and contentment. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s come as a huge shock! haha!

Living our dreams isn’t always the easy route. Far from it. Bringing your deepest desires to life requires being committed without being attached to a certain outcome. It requires you creating the experience you’re seeking through feeling and learning to embody it before it ever exists in the world outside of you. It requires patience, self-discovery, it requires dealing with disappointment and grief.

It sounds hard, and sometimes it is, but it is worth the effort. In bringing your longings to life you grow into your own skin, slip back into your core in a way very few other pursuits will cause you to do.

For now, it’s your go. Take that dream of yours out into the open, clean out the disbelief and breathe life and possibility back into it and let me know how it goes.”

And so there you are. Eighteen months later and I met the man that quickly became my loving partner and two years after writing this blog post we were expecting a baby.

The key for me in making that dream come true, I truly believe, was to own that dream, to take it seriously and to start making space for it and start taking action that would help me to bring that dream to life.

So let this be the encouragement YOU need to believe in your biggest deepest dreams and start doing the things that will help that dream to come true.

x Selina

🎙✨PODCAST: Emma Gannon and her amazing new book 'The Multi-Hyphen Method'

 

There are SO many reasons for why I am ridiculously excited about this week’s episode on the Project Love podcast.

First of all I got to interview one of my ALL TIME heroes.

Secondly she has just written a book which I truly believe is going to spark a MASSIVE movement in the world of work and will play a big part in encouraging people to really take their careers into their own hands and design careers that work for THEM.

I am talking about the amazing author, broadcaster and podcast host Emma Gannon and her truly brilliant book ‘The Multi-Hyphen Method’ which is about to hit the shelves on 31st May (pre-order it this minute over on Amazon).

I have been a HUGE fan of Emma and her work and in particular her Webby Award nominated podcast - Ctrl Alt Delete - for a long time. Her podcast is honestly my number #1 podcast to listen to - it has me introduced me to so many amazing female authors, entrepreneurs, thought-leaders and activists. Guests have included Liz Gilbert, Reni Eddo-Lodge and Lena Dunham to name but a few. And I LOVE the way Emma digs deep into topics with her guests in a down-to-earth, smart and insightful way.

So when I found out that Emma’s new book was focused on one of my all-time-favourite topics: working less, creating more and designing a career that works for you, I said to Vicki ‘I HAVE to interview her for the Project Love podcast and I have to get my hands on that book!’.

And so that is exactly what I did.

A few weeks later I met up with Emma (every bit as lovely in person as she is on her podcasts) in a sweltering Soho and got very excited talking with her about the new world of work that is emerging and how it is offering us exciting new opportunities to design careers that really do work for us.

So tune in, order your copy of ‘The Multi-Hyphen Method’ and let's get you designing a career that works for you.

x Selina

P.S. If you're not already subscribed to the Project Love podcast on iTunes then why not pop over and subscribe now :)

Vulnerability in action with Allysa Rochelle from the Vulnerable Podcast

 
 

This week's episode on the blog is a bit of a different one and a special one.

 I was joined by Allysa Rochelle, founder and host of the brilliant Vulnerable Podcast to talk about vulnerability and demonstrate it in action...

I am such a huge fan of Rochelle (as she likes to be called) and of the powerful work she is doing with her podcast (and beyond). I have been so inspired and learnt so much from her and her guests from their deep dives into all sorts of topics from white supremacy, to hyper-masculinity to sex after trauma - conversations that all require vulnerability and openness. 

So I reached out to Rochelle a few months ago asking if she'd come on the Project Love podcast to talk about vulnerability and the Vulnerable Podcast. 

We met up and talked and she shared a little bit about her personal story - I’d had an inkling that there was quite a big story under there and that she was very much on her own personal healing journey and we arrived at the idea that she tell her story for the first time on the Project Love podcast, embracing and demonstrating vulnerability in action. 

And so that is what we did.

As such it is quite a long podcast but I didn’t want to cut it down - I wanted Rochelle to be able to tell her story uncut. The most courageous thing any of us can do.

So thank you for joining us to create the space for Rochelle’s story to be heard. And thank YOU Rochelle for having the courage and love to share it.

x Selina

Listen to Rochelle and her Vulnerable Podcast on iTunes or Soundcloud
Follow Rochelle on Instagram @Vulnerablepodcast and @allysarochelle

Vote for what you want the next Project Love course to be all about!

Helloooooo beautiful Project Love tribe,

We are feeling full of celebration as the sun shines down (finally!) here in London and our latest Project Love creation - the new Get Ready for Love platform - has been enjoying lots of new gorgeous members and love from the press (watch this space…!).

And so now, with spring and sunshine in the air we are turning our sights to what we can grow for you next here at Project Love.

And so we want to put it to the vote: what would you MOST love our next course to be all about?

Vote below!

What would you love the next Project Love course to be all about?

>> If you are on your mobile, click here to do the survey

Create your own user feedback survey

x Selina & Vicki

 

PODCAST: Real Love Story with Natasha Lunn

So excited for you to listen to this week’s real love story interview with the fabulous Natasha Lunn.  Tune in as Natasha talks to Vicki about dating apps and 12 hour first dates, speaking your truth, wholeheartedness and choosing to go ‘all in’ on love (starting with going ‘all in’ with dating). And much much more!

This podcast is packed full of wisdom as Natasha shares her love story with Dan and also the lessons learnt from interviewing people about finding love and making it last (check out ‘Conversations on Love’ - Natasha’s bimonthly email newsletter investigating love, one conversation at a time).

So grab a cup of tea, hit play and enjoy! You can also listen on iTunes and now - *drum roll please* - on Spotify!

Really hope you enjoy this episode.

Much love,

x Selina and Vicki

P.S If you’re feeling stuck in your love life and finding dating to be frustrating and exhausting then come and join 'Get Ready for Love’, our online course that has helped 500+ women to find love. 'Get Ready for Love’ contains the 30 essential lessons that we've found to be the most effective and powerful in getting you ready for love and on your way to a happy and healthy relationship. It’s like having a love coach in your pocket, with advice, tools and guidance that can be listened to during the daily commute or en route to a date! Find out more over here.

PODCAST: Sex, self-love, orgasms and everything in between!

 

Ooh we can’t wait for you to get stuck into this week’s podcast! 

Selina got together with Victoria Helen Roberts - body image and intimacy coach and certified sexological bodyworker to talk about sex, self-pleasure, self-love, orgasms and everything in between.  

It is as juicy a podcast episode as you might expect it to be.

They talked about the taboo around discussing sex openly and honestly in our society - where that comes from and the impact it can have on us, the importance of exploring and experimenting when it comes to our bodies and what turns them on and why sometimes it’s best to take the orgasm off the menu for a bit to focus on the other aspects of sex and learning how to give your body pleasure all over. 

Victoria shared loads of practical tips about how to get back in touch with your body and improve your sex life, whether you’re in a relationship, single or somewhere in between. 

Honestly, it is SUCH a good one!

So hit play above or tune in over on iTunes and enjoy!

And as ever, if you’re a fan of our podcasts then it would make our day if you would leave us a review over on iTunes - every review makes a big difference in helping us to spread the love to even more people. 

Much love,

x Selina & Vicki

P.S. If you are used to finding our podcasts over on Soundcloud we have now moved over to Audioboom, so that soon you'll also be able to listen to our podcasts on Spotify. 

PODCAST: Real Love Story with Selina Barker

I first interviewed Selina for a real love story back in 2015. We reflected on her journey of feeling completely stuck in love and wondering if it was ever going to happen for her, to feeling an abundance of love, and not just with a loving partner (we actually revealed in the podcast that she was expecting!) but the love that she discovered from the inside out.

And now, 3 years later, Selina is back in the hot seat, but this time to tell a much deeper love story.

This is a journey of hitting rock bottom in life and rising strong, healing and finding your way back home with love as your compass. A journey that starts and ends with ourselves.

This is a story that has never been told before and I’m actually hearing it for the first time. There is such a beautiful sense of vulnerability and intimacy to it. It’s everything our podcasts are about - hearing women opening up and sharing from the heart. And that takes real courage. Thank you Selina, it was an honour to hold the space and to hear you tell your story, your REAL love story.

 

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

V xxx

P.S. next week (21st March), we’re running a free Masterclass  ‘A modern approach to finding love’ so if you’re feeling stuck in your love life then come and join us! Head here to save your seat (we’ll send you the recording if you can’t join us live)

P.P.S  'Get Ready for Love’ (our online course to help you to transform your love life) is on its way back 🎉🎉🎉 and almost (ALMOST!) ready to be released back into the world with all new videos, brand new bonus audios from amazing guests and a whole new sparkly platform to access the whole course...watch out for exciting announcements later this week! We are SO excited for you to get your hands on it!!!

PODCAST | Lessons from the world's first and only Happyologist!

 
Selina-Vicki-Susanna-Happyologist-and-the-dog.JPG
 

This week we caught up with the world’s first and only Happyologist - Susanna Halonen

Susanna has made it her life’s work to study happiness and is author of ‘Screw Finding your Passion’ and ‘Happiness is here - a 30 day guide to joy and fulfilment’.

She describes herself as a born pessimist who trained herself to be a happy optimist and now helps others to do the same.

So we joined her in her flat in London with her big cuddly dog to dive deep into the topic of happiness and what it really takes to live a happy and fulfilled life.

 

We talked about:

  • How happiness as a practice (just like love) and not a destination and certainly not a permanent state we can maintain 24/7.
  • The importance of allowing ourselves to feel negative emotions and how they in fact play an important role in us cultivating happiness in life.
  • How being successful in life is not what brings about happiness, but quite the opposite: cultivating happiness TODAY in your life is what will in fact help you to achieve your dreams.

Plus Susanna shares her top tips on practicing happiness on a day to day basis and even showed us how to make a gratitude practice even more powerful.

So snuggle up and enjoy a deep dive into happiness. We guarantee it will make you smile :)

And if you’re a fan of our podcast then make sure you subscribe over on iTunes aaaaaand we would LOVE it if you would leave us a review - every review helps us to spread the love that little bit further. Plus it makes our day.

x Selina & Vicki

P.S. For any recruitment consultants out there, we laughed at the idea of Selina once having a stint as a recruitment consultant, not to disrespect recruitment consultants, but because the idea of Selina in any office job always makes us laugh (think wild animal in a cage not being able to sit still).

Discover what you really want to do with your life (and how to get paid for it)

It’s Selina here and I’m so excited for you to hit play on this week’s podcast. It is dedicated to those of you that are feeling stuck and miserable in your career, but don’t know what else you could do (or you have some ideas but can't choose which one to go for). And even more so if you love the idea of doing your own thing and being your own boss, but you just don’t know how to find that ‘right’ thing. Because THAT is what my guest on the podcast this week is ALL about.

Say hello to the wonderful Marianne Cantwell!

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Marianne is best-selling author of ‘Be a Free Range Human - THE book that I always recommend when it comes to discovering what you love to do and finding a career that gives you fulfilment and freedom. She also delivered a killer TED Talk last year on ‘The power and importance of not (always) fitting in’ that has had almost 200,000 views to date.

And when it comes to creating a career for yourself that doesn’t require you leaving a piece of yourself at the door, then Marianne is your woman.

In fact together we’ve been designing and running courses to help people bust out of careers that make them miserable and show them how to create a career out of doing something they LOVE for almost a decade (!) And we are back together again after a 2 year break to run our most popular course - the Ideas Adventure - a 6 week online programme to help you discover what you really want to do with your life and how to get paid for it (sign up here if you want to find out more).

And so I invited Marianne to join me for this week’s episode to dive deep into…well all of it.

We talked about how to know when a traditional job is not for you (a lot of us simply aren’t suited to being employees!), how it’s not a case of having a job OR running your own business - there are all sorts of options out there for you - and how it’s not about finding the career that’s right for you, but creating the career that’s right for you. Plus a whole lot more.

There is nothing that Marianne and I love more than getting together to dive deep into the topic of escaping the 9 to 5 and creating a career you love so it was hard frankly to keep the podcast to under an hour. But I sort of managed it… 🤫

 

So I hope you enjoy it and if figuring out a new career direction is on your mind and listening to the two of us got you feeling fired up then click here to learn more about the Ideas Adventure over the next few weeks 💛

I hope to see some of you joining us on the journey. It will be my main focus in April :)

And as ever, if you enjoy this podcast and our podcasts in general then please do subscribe over on iTunes and leave us a review - you will make us very happy!

Much love,

x Selina

P.S. I am not currently taking on any 1-2-1 coaching clients so if you would like my help in figuring out a way of earning a living doing something that you love then the Ideas Adventure is THE way to work with me (and it is a LOT of fun)!

Our brand new Project Love *free* audio workshop | 'Self Love for busy women'

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Happy Day of Love!!!!!!!!! 💗 💗 💗

As we do every year, we are hijacking Valentine’s Day and making it all about SELF-love.

And to celebrate this special day we have created a brand new audio workshop for you: ‘Self Love for Busy Women’ - an in-depth workshop on the topic of self-love and how to find smart and easy ways to give yourself the love you need, even when you have a jam-packed schedule and barely any time for lunch!

If you're already part of the Project Love tribe then a link to the workshop will already be sitting in your inbox. Otherwise head on over here to sign up and we'll send you the workshop straight away!

In the workshop you will learn:

  • What we actually mean by self-love (and no, it’s not all bubble baths and expensive body lotions)
  • Why self-love is a radical act that has the power to transform your whole life
  • How to start a self-love practice if you’ve never done it before (and how to up your game if you have!)
  • Our four favourite ways to practice self-love
  • How to make TIME for a self-love practice, no matter how busy you are
  • How to use your calendar as your canvas to make self-love a permanent fixture in your life

    We've designed this audio workshop for you to keep in your back pocket and use any time you've managed to get so busy doing other things that you've accidentally forgotten about one of the most important people in your life...YOU.

Because loving yourself isn’t just a nice to have. It is the KEY to you living a life that you LOVE.

Because when you learn to truly love yourself and become THE source of love in your own life, everything changes. Your life transforms from the inside out.

If you're looking for a loving partner in life then self-love is the magic that will attract that person in.

If you have ambitions for this year - things you want to make happen, goals you want to achieve - then self-love is the fuel that will help you make it happen while remaining grounded, fulfilled and in flow.

If you’re in a relationship, self-love will feed and nourish that relationship, keeping the flames of love alight and if you're a mother, wanting to create a happy home for you and your family, then self-love is the key.

So let’s make this the year that we ALL take a stand together, reclaim ownership of our time and make self-love a TOP priority in our lives.

It's time for a self-love revolution!

So download the 'Self love for busy women' audio workshop and let's get it started!

x Selina & Vicki

PODCAST: Real Love Story with Caroline Atkinson

 

So excited to share this podcast with you - a real love story with a friend of mine, Caroline Atkinson, whose love story with Gus spans almost 10 years.

We talk about relationship challenges, the incredible lessons learnt from spending 6 years apart, the importance of taking responsibility for your own happiness and the absolute joy of brunching on your own.

I remember attending a talk with Alain de Botton and he made reference to the fact that novels and films (in particular, fairy tales and rom coms) often don't give us a correct map of love and 'leave us unprepared to deal adequately with the difficulties of being in a couple'. And so we grow up with slightly unrealistic notions of love and what it means to be in a relationship. Hearing Caroline share her story really helped me to understand this more deeply and how we can update our 'map of love' to be more in-line with the realities of relating in today's world. 

I was so inspired by Caroline's journey of self discovery and self love and how she and Gus were able to start a new chapter in their relationship and the strength and vulnerability that requires, on both parts. I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved recording it.

V xxx

 

 

Your calendar is your canvas

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As many of you are spending this month dreaming and planning for the year ahead we wanted to share with you a tool that is a must-have when it comes to life designing.

Because while the dreaming and planning part can all be very exciting, there isn’t much point to it if they remain forgotten in a notebook.

What you need is the real-life version of a magic wand that will help to bring those dreams and desires to life.

Welcome to the ultimate life design tool:

A calendar.

When it comes to designing and living a life you love, your calendar is your canvas.

Plenty of us use calendars in our day to day lives to keep on top of things at work and do what needs to be done. But the magic happens when you start to use it to create your life, by taking your list of things you want to fill your life with - from time with friends, to more sleep, to a monthly massage, to changing career -  and giving each of those things dedicated time and dates in your diary.

Suddenly your dreams and desires are now booked and ready to happen.

Here is how to do it.

If you did our Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 guide you will now have a beautiful book full of things you want to fill your 2018 with, so let’s get that list out.

If you didn’t do it then take a page and write down the activities, people, places, projects that you would like to fill your life with in 2018.

Include on your list any activities and practices you know you need on a daily or weekly basis to feel well, energised and calm in your body eg. proper breakfast to start the day, exercise twice a week, 8 hours sleep a night, a massage once a month.

Now get out your calendar (paper or digital, that’s up to you) and let’s start booking these things into your life and designing your day, your week, your month, your year, so that you are filling it with the things, people and places you love.

Daily commitments

Always begin with your wellbeing. It is THE foundation to a happy life. So start by looking at your daily calendar and book in the things you know you need to feel well and happy in your body, but that you often let slip.

So, for example, if starting the day with a nourishing breakfast is an important one for you, but something you usually forget to do, then get that in your diary as a daily date with yourself, setting your alarm to get you up 15 minutes earlier if necessary.

Eventually those nourishing breakfasts in the morning will become a natural part of your normal routine and you won’t have to schedule them, but until that happens, keep them as firm dates in your calendar.

Weekly commitments

Now let’s look at what you want to book in on a regular weekly basis as a fixed commitment - things you want to do for your wellbeing and happiness eg. time for exercise, dates with yourself, hobbies etc

Decide when in the week you want to commit to doing these things and book them in.

Also book in time each week dedicated to focus on any big changes or dreams you’re wanting to make happen in 2018. By creating dedicated time to focus on them, those changes and dreams are far more likely to happen.

Monthly commitments

Next schedule in the things you want to do monthly -  eg a massage, trip to the countryside, dinner for friends etc. If you need time to research, invite friends, make bookings in advance for these things to happen, then make sure you book in time for that too.

One-off yearly commitments

Finally, take a step back and look at your whole year ahead and block in time for the fun adventures, holidays, courses and outings you want to enjoy throughout the year, even if for now you can only pencil them in because you’re not yet sure on the exact dates.

Again, if any of these require a good amount of planning and research, then block out time to do that too.

And there you have it. A calendar that now has all your ingredients for a happy life firmly woven into it.

Now all you have to do is stick to those commitments. But that is for another blog post ;)

For now, enjoy painting that canvas of yours with the things you love and let us know how you get on.

X Selina & Vicki

What could ‘Design a Life You Love’ do for YOU?… (P.S. starts THIS Monday!)

What could our 'Design a Life You Love' course get YOU doing?...

Ever wondered what it’s like to really go after a dream? To quit that job…go on a big traveling adventure…change career…follow your heart?

Well Francesca dal Bello now certainly does!

Francesca joined us this time last year on our 'Design a Life You Love’ 4 week online course. She knew it was time for change, but she didn’t know what or how or where…so her friend Emma signed her up to our 'Design a Life You Love'  course…one year later they are BOTH living their dreams. Emma has moved from London to Egypt and Francesca is…well, we’ll let her show you what she’s been up to…

Watch Francesca’s message from Goa below as she shares how she quit her job after 16 years with the same company and the adventures she has been on since (and there have been a lot for one year!) ...
 


It is amazing what can happen when you take the time to really get clear on what it is YOU need in life to be happy and fulfilled, when you listen to your dreams and allow yourself to take them seriously. Even the biggest dreams can be broken down into practical steps and projects.

And THAT is what we teach you in our Design a Life You Love course: how to get clear on what life will make you happy and then how to create that life for yourself.

Over the course of 4 weeks, you will…

  • Get clear on the key ingredients YOU need to be happy and fulfilled in life
  • Unlock your dreams and start taking those dreams seriously
  • Create a vision and a picture of what you want your life to look like in 2018 (and beyond)
  • Design a practical plan that will bring that vision to life
  • Clear the blocks that get in the way of you living life the way you really want to
  • Learn the practical and powerful life design tools that will help you to create a life you love this year and beyond
  • Get inspired and share your journey with a whole tribe of other life designers making their own dreams and ideas happen

We run 'Design a Life You Love' once a year. And the 2018 course starts TOMORROW! 

So whether you're looking to make a change in your life in 2018, wanting to make a dream or idea happen or if you simply want to make 2018 a year where you make it less about work and more about YOU, come and join us on our 'Design a Life You Love in 2018' course and we’ll help you make it happen.

See you there!

x Selina & Vicki