PODCAST | How to handle New Year overwhelm


Hands up if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed since the new year has kicked off?

Well if you have, then you’re not alone. In fact we received SO many messages last week from people saying that they had been feeling overwhelmed since stepping into the new year that we decided to dedicate a whole podcast episode to it this week. And wow, once we opened up this topic there was soooo much to say.

We dug into what can cause overwhelm at the start of the new year (and there are a whole host of different triggers), why overwhelm is natural at the start of any new journey or project and why and we shared lots of tips and suggestions on what to do if and when overwhelm gets the better of you.

And by the way, the two of us aren’t immune to New Year overwhelm. We always expect it to happen and this year it was particularly strong for both of us as we both chose intentions for the year that triggered our Shitty Committees big time! We share all about that too :)

So have a listen and let us know what you think.

And if you'd like to buy the the 'Design a Life You Love in 2019' TWO HOUR video workshop to help you really kick 2019 off on the right foot then head over to thegoodbyehellojournal.com/shop to buy and watch it right away.

Lots of love, 

Vicki and Selina

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify


Podcast | The power of setting an intention for your year ahead

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

Happy New Yeeeeeaaaarrrrr!!!!!!

Well we wanted the first podcast episode of 2019 to be a powerful one for you and wow, it really is!

Honestly, prepping for this episode and recording it really had a huge impact on both of us. We sat down after recording it, had a cup of tea and came up with an intention for Project Love for 2019 (and beyond) that totally blew us away. It felt like we had poured power and energy into our future and it has got us stepping into 2019 feeling fired up and ready to get the love spreading far and wide.

So we can’t wait to hear what this episode does for you…!

We really hope you enjoy this episode!

And while we’ve got you, on 15th January we’re going to be running an online workshop called ‘How to Design A Life You Love in 2019’ and we would love to see you there! In this two hour online workshop you’ll learn how to take the dreams and plans from your Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal and really bring them to life in 2019, no matter how busy life gets. So if you enjoyed doing Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 and want to learn even more about life design and how to create a life you love in 2019 then come and join us for the ‘Design a Life You Love in 2019’ workshop.

We hope to see you there!

Love, Selina and Vicki x

P.S If you haven’t yet ordered your copy of theGoodbye 2018, Hello 2019journal then order yours today while stock last!


Podcast | Last podcast of the year! TIME TO REFLECT ON 2018


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

Join us for a special end-of-year podcast episode this week where we invite you to sit in a circle with us and reflect on your year - on all that has happened, all that you’ve learnt and the ways in which you’ve grown.

And if you did Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 we’ll also be looking at how your focus or intention for 2018 shaped your year, which of the dreams and goals you wrote in your journal happened aaaand which ones didn’t (because there is always a lesson in that too!).

We’ll be doing it with you along with two very special guests from our Project Love tribe: Leah Stewart (someone who has been part of our online community for a long time, but who we had never met until the recording!) and Bexy Cameron (one of our best friends, the first person (other than Selina) to ever do the very first ‘Goodbye, Hello’ and the person who introduced us!).  

Listen in as we each reflect on our year and invite you to do the same and if you did Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 we’d love to hear how it helped you to shape your year.

Wishing you a wonderful Xmas and here’s to a fulfilling 2019!

Love, Selina and Vicki x

P.S. For an extra boost of inspiration check out our latest ‘Success Story’ from Laura Croft whose gorgeous Letter & Brush business grew out of her doing Goodbye, Hello over the past two years.

P.P.S And if you haven’t yet ordered your copy of theGoodbye 2018, Hello 2019’ journal then order TODAY (19th Dec) for delivery before Christmas!  


Podcast | Practical Magic - a conversation with the queen of living life creatively, Kate Taylor


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify


If you haven’t come across Kate Taylor before then you are in for a real treat. She is the creator of the Practical Magic Activation Deck and the Practical Magic prints, she’s a powerful creativity and empowerment coach and NLP practitioner, host of the Practical Magic podcast and has co-run THE most beautiful and powerful one-day retreat we have ever been to.

So we got her into the podcast studio to talk about:

  • How she created the Practical Magic Activation Deck (it truly is magic) and what she’s seen it do for people

  • The practical things we can do to tune into our intuition more (the place where we get the answers we need)

  • How to get in touch with that deeper self, love and wisdom through the body Aaaaaand...how powerful it will be to do Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 WITH the Practical Magic Activation Deck (and cake)

We enjoyed this conversation SO much and hope you will too.

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And because we really do think the journal and the deck are a genius combo, we are offering a special ‘Practical Magic x Goodbye Hello’ Xmas bundle - buy the two together over on lifeandme.com and save over £6!

Let the magic unfold!

X Selina & Vicki


Podcast | Living life joyfully - an interview with Red magazine editor, Sarah Tomczak


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

We have such a gorgeous podcast for you today as we got to interview the wonderful Sarah Tomczak, who is the editor over at Red magazine and a woman who we so admire. We came away from this interview feeling so inspired by Sarah’s overall approach to life, work and relationships. She’s an incredible example of a woman who is juggling a successful career and family, so is spinning a lot of big plates, but seems to do it with a lot of ease, joy and love. And her joyfulness is SO infectious (check out her Instagram to see what we mean!).

Listen in as we talk about definitions of success (and how they can change over time), what it’s like to be editor of a top magazine (and how she got there) and living a perfectly imperfect life that is unapologetically joyful. And so much more!

Can’t wait for you to listen to this one - and when you do, let us know what you think and what resonated with you. We always love to hear from you!

x Selina & Vicki


Podcast: Why aren’t we all easily designing and living lives we love?


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

We are so excited with all that is happening at Project Love at the moment! We are loving seeing pics sent in of our Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journals arriving at your homes and being spotted at Oliver Bonas stores all over the country (keep those pics coming - they make our day!) and this coming week you'll be able to hear our 5 part podcast series 'How to Design a Life You Love' over on the Pool podcast 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

Now in the meantime, all this talk of life designing has got us asking one big important question: why aren't we all easily designing lives we love?

With so many of us lucky enough to have somewhere to live, food on the table and a whoooole lot of freedom when it comes to choosing what we do with our lives, who we spend it with and how we live it, why aren’t we all choosing to fill our lives with the things we love all the time?

Well in today’s Project Love podcast episode this is what we explore. And wow, what a juicy topic it is. When you start unpacking it there are sooo many layers to it. And it’s also a topic that seems important for us all to explore.

So join us as we unpack this BIG question and take a look at:

  • What we even mean by ‘designing a life that you love’ - what it IS and what it ISN’T

  • The reasons people often give for not being able to design the life they really want to live

  • And what we have found to be the actual blockers to people following their dreams and designing lives they love

And if you haven't ordered your copy of the‘Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019’ journal then head on over to thegoodbyehellojournal.com

And save your seat to the online workshop ‘Design a Life You Love in 2019’. The two together make a great combo. And a perfect Xmas gift 😉

X Selina & Vicki


Podcast | A couple that dreams together - interview with Penny and Will, creators of Brook House Woods

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🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

You may have seen pictures of us on Instagram a few weeks back enjoying an amazing rewilding weekend in Brook House Woods where we got to sleep in a tree house shaped like a giant goji berry.

Well we were there to help host a couple’s rewilding retreat put on by the amazing Canopy and Stars and owners of the magical Brook House Woods, Penny and Will, who had run a competition for four lucky couples to win a place on the retreat, staying for two nights in one of the luxury treehouses.

We had heard a little bit about Penny and Will - the couple who had left behind their life as actors in London to fulfill their dream of creating and running a glamping retreat in the woods and we knew we had to hear the story in full and record a podcast with them. And wow, are we glad we did!

They shared with us what it was like to come up with such an incredible dream together and actually make it happen, how living their dream life amongst the woods has changed them and positively impacted their relationship and the advice they would give to someone who also has a big dream that they’d love to make real.

Oh and we recorded the podcast in a meadow overlooking the beautiful hills of Herefordshire. Doesn’t get much better than that!

We hope you enjoy listening to this special episode as much as we did recording it.

x Selina & Vicki

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Podcast: A special podcast for a special day


IT’S HERE!!!!!! The Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal OFFICIALLY goes on sale today!

So no more holding back - you can now let your friends know by sending them to thegoodbyehellojournal.com - check it out if you haven’t already!

Some of you may even be getting the copies you ordered in the post TODAY! As soon as you do, come and let us know by posting us a pic on Instagram or just hit reply to this email and let us know. We want you to be a part of the launch party celebrations :)

If you are in the UK and near one of these Oliver Bonas branches you can go and see Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 on the shelves there! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

AND this year there is a Goodbye Hello Club - free for everyone with a journal - it includes extra bonus exercises and a private facebook group that opens on 1st December where we can all hang out!

We’re just so excited that the day has finally come so we can get this party started!

Head on over to thegoodbyehellojournal.com to check it all out, order your copies and share share share away!


Living your PLAN B life: What to do when the life you had planned is no longer an option

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify


There was only one guest we wanted on today’s episode: the woman who has helped us turn Goodbye, Hello into the beautifully designed journal that it is today...the glorious Ruth Ridgeway.

Ruth is an incredible designer, a brilliant coach, founder of the Lifestyle Designers Club and creator of the gorgeous t-shirts and sweatshirts over on ruthxo.com (just seen her new Free Spirit one - yes please!). If you haven’t come across her before, really do go and check her out over on ruthxo.com.

And as well as being a hugely talented woman and an absolute joy to work with, she is also one incredibly courageous and inspiring lady and it is her personal story that we wanted to share with you on today’s episode. She has been sharing it herself, with honesty and beautiful vulnerability, over the past four and a half years since the life she and her partner had planned was shattered in a single moment when he fell from a 20ft bridge and was left paralysed.

None of us prepare for that kind of thing in life. So what do you do if it does happen? Well that is what we talked about with Ruth: the ups and downs, pain, hopes and challenges of creating a new (and beautiful) Plan B life. We came away from this interview feeling so in awe and so full of love. We can’t wait for you to hear it and to get to know the woman who helped us to make ‘Goodbye, Hello’ into the journal it is.

Our deepest thank you to you Ruth - you are a constant source of inspiration, courage and hope. It was an honour having you join us on such a special day.

Xxx Selina & Vicki


Celebration podcast: The ‘Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019’ journal IS HERE!!!!! And on special pre-sale offer this week!


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

Today’s podcast episode comes to you with a big dose of excitement because…(drum roll please!)...our end-of-year journal Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 IS HERE and if you're on our email list then check out your inbox because YOU will be the very first to see it this week! 

In case you don’t know what that is - Goodbye, Hello is our end-of-year journal that helps you to say a proper farewell to the year as it comes to an end and create a vision and a plan for the year to come. It then acts as a guide throughout the year helping you to stay focused on the things that really matter to you.

Last year we ran a Kickstarter campaign to get it out into the world and we hit 150% of our target and we sent 1200 journals out to 32 countries all around the world.

This year it’s bigger, better and even more beautiful than before and it’s going to be on sale on the UK high street at Oliver Bonas stores all over the country!🎉🎉🎉 


Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 officially goes on sale next week on 1st November but if you're on our mailing list then you get to take an early sneak peak of the new Goodbye, Hello journal (and it’s brand new sparkly website) TODAY!

Aaaaand to celebrate the launch and thank you for your support and loyalty we’re offering you, and only you, a super special pre-sale offer:

With every copy of the Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal that you order THIS WEEK you’ll ALSO get a ticket to the Project Love ‘Design a Life You Love’ Online Workshop which runs in Jan 2018 (join live or download the recording). The workshop will show you how to take the dreams and plans from your Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal and really bring them to life in 2019, no matter how busy life gets.

The journal and the workshop are the perfect combo (and a great Xmas gift!)

So if you’re already excited about checking out the Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019journal and ordering copies for you and your loved ones with a FREE ticket to the Design a Life You Love online workshop added to every order then go and check your inbox for an email from us (if you are signed up to receive these podcasts direct to your inbox). 

If you don't yet receive our podcasts by email from us, then sign up over here today and we'll send you an email with details on how to get behind the scenes and see the journal AND order your copies this week so that you get the Design A Life You Love online workshop FOR FREE with every copy you order!

And then come back here to listen to the latest episode where we share the 5 core principles that lie at the heart of the Goodbye Hello journey and why they are so important when it comes to designing a life you love.

X Selina & Vicki


Podcast | Success from the inside out - interview with Psychologist and Behaviour Change Expert Dr Tilean


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

Oooh we have a gem of a podcast for you this week! We got to interview Psychologist and Behaviour Change Expert Dr Tilean and we covered a lot of ground - from success and fulfilling your potential to mastering a money mindset and training your brain to thrive in life. Plus so much more!

Dr Tilean is ALL about soul success and thriving from the inside out and she shares so much wisdom in the podcast about how we can train our brain for the success that we want in life. And how we can get out of our own way when it comes to taking that success to the next level.

For more Dr Tilean magic and to find out how to work with her then head over to https://drtilean.com/ and sign up to her fabulous free video training series that is available on her website now.

Can’t wait for you to listen to the podcast!

x Selina & Vicki


Podcast | Live panel event with three married couples talking about marriage


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

Last week we hosted a panel discussion at the Ace Hotel in collaboration with Knot and Pop. The topic was marriage. We had three couples joining us to share their experiences of marriage and making love last. Gemma and Francesca have been married for a year, Kate and James have been married for 6 years and Bill and Nancy who have been married for 29 years. 

It turned out to be a fascinating discussion, really digging into the complexities of marriage and committed long-lasting relationships and what it takes to make love last. And thanks to Wise Productions it all got brilliantly recorded so that you can listen to it too (thanks guys!).

We loved this conversation and will definitely be doing more interviews with couples in the future...watch this space!


PODCAST | Real Love Story with our very own Love Coach Vicki Pavitt

PODCAST | Real Love Story with our very own Love Coach Vicki Pavitt

This week we had our very own Vicki Pavitt in the hot seat telling her own Real Love Story. One thing you might not know about Vicki is that she finds telling her own story nerve wracking, so this is a real act of vulnerability for Vicki and I am so grateful for her courage because this interview offered sooo much in the way of inspiration and deep conversation about love, relationships and how to navigate doubts and fears at the start of relationships and how to help your relationship to flourish over the years.


PODCAST | Can self help change your life - interview with author of ‘Help Me!’, Marianne Power


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

We cannot wait for you to listen to this week’s episode because we got to interview Marianne Power as she talked to us about her brilliant new book ‘Help Me! One woman’s quest to find out if self-help really can change her life”. A book which saw her road test one self-help book a month for a year!

The quest for happiness is something a lot of us can relate to and Marianne describes this with such refreshing honesty and intimacy. As she says in the podcast ‘“Being a human is a really up and down road” and maybe realising that we do not need to be fixed (because we are not broken) and that we are already good enough as we are, is the most liberating discovery we could ever have in life.

We came away from this interview feeling so full of love and compassion. There is such a beautiful vulnerability in the way that Marianne shares her story in the book, it is so deeply personal and moving whilst also being wonderfully funny. It feels like 'Help me' could be the next Bridget Jones for our generation

‘Help Me!’ is out on 6th September and available for pre-order now over here.

Let us know what you think of the podcast and the book!

x Vicki and Selina


Podcast | Heartbreak - how to handle it and how to help our friends through it


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

This week's episode is one for everyone to listen to, whether you're going through heart break right now or not. 

Because heartbreak is an inevitable part of life, particularly when you put yourself out there in life and do things like follow your dreams and get into deep relationships with other beautifully complex human beings. And yet, while no-one gets through life without experiencing a painful heartbreak at least once (if not numerous times), when it does happen to us or the people we love, it seems that we are often at a total loss as how to deal with it.

So we decided it was time to dig deep into the topic, explore the science behind heartbreak and why it can be SO painful (yes, people CAN die from heartbreak!), share different women's tips on how to get through those early days of heartbreak, see if there is any way to avoid heartbreak in life, look at how heartbreak can often be turned into an opportunity for growth and making positive change in your life AND discuss how we can support our loved ones when they are going through painful heartbreak.

Told you it was a juicy one!

This was a truly heart-warming and touching episode to create, thanks to all of the women who shared their stories of heart break with us and of how they overcame some hugely heartbreaking moments in life. You are our heroes.

Thank you.

x Selina & Vicki


PODCAST | Time to review your 2018 and how it's gone so far!


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

This week we’ve created a podcast episode designed to take you through a 6 month review of your 2018 so far and help you create a plan for the second half of the year. We did this ourselves before recording this podcast and it was so powerful (you’ll find out why when you listen in!)

In this podcast we take you through a simple but powerful process that helps you to look back on your 2018 so far and reflect on all that you’ve done, all that has happened in your life, all that you’re proud of and all that you’ve learnt along the way. We’ll then take a look at what you’d like the next 6 months to be all about, any intentions you’d like to make, dreams you’d like to bring to life and any goals you’d like to set for yourself.

We’ll be sharing with you nuggets from our own journeys as well as stories from our Project Love tribe to see how they’ve got on with sticking to their commitments and dreams  We’ll also be taking you through the key lessons learnt along the way and what it takes to design a life you love.

So grab a pen and paper and listen in as we take you through the 6 month review process (questions below).


The 6 month review questions:

  • How are you feeling at the moment?

  • What has been happening in your life since Jan 2018?

  • What have you done that you’re proud of?

  • What have been your happiest moments?

  • What have been your most challenging moments?

  • What would you like to do less of over the next 6 months?

  • What would you like to do more of over the next 6 months?

  • What 3 things do you want to commit to doing over the next 6 months (they can be specific goals or intentions)?

And we’d love to hear your stories of how you’ve been getting on, particularly if you’ve done our ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ journal at the start of the year:

Has doing ‘Goodbye, Hello’ had a positive impact on you already this year or helped you to make changes in your life or reach goals that you might not have otherwise? Do drop us an email on hello@loveprojectlove.com, we’d love to share your stories and celebrate all the ways that ‘Goodbye, Hello’ has helped you to design a life you love (big and small!) as we get ready for the launch of ‘Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019’ (exciting announcements coming soon on that one!)

So much love,

x Vicki & Selina 


PODCAST | Why we all need to learn how to grieve - interview with co-founder of the Bridge, Donna Lancaster


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

I never thought grief would be a topic I’d get excited about…I thought it was something that you went through when you lost a loved one. Something hard and painful that you had to endure until hopefully, one day, you were out the other side.

But then I met Donna Lancaster and did her Bridge Retreat (which she co-founded with fellow psychotherapist Gabi Krueger) - a six-day deep healing experience that was honestly THE most profound journey I have ever been on (you can find out all about it over here). I have done a lot of individual and group self-development and healing over the years and nothing compares to this. It’s an emotional detox that brings you back in connection with yourself, others and the world in a way that is truly, deeply, life changing.

Both Vicki and I did the Bridge Retreat last year and we’ve been recommending it to our friends and clients ever since, particularly when they are feeling at a crossroads in life, feeling lost, burnt out or feeling ready to do some deep healing work on old wounds.

And one of the key parts of the Bridge experience is learning how to grieve. And not just grieve the loss of loved ones who have passed away (although it is great for that), but to grieve any and all kinds of loss in life - from loss of innocence, to divorce, losing the life you once knew after having kids, losing connection with yourself during a bout of depression, losing a parent that moved out when you were young etc.

Giving yourself the time, space and tools to deeply grieve returns you to yourself and in full connection with your heart in a way that you may not have ever have ever experienced before.

As Donna says:

“Through allowing and supporting the natural order of the grieving process to flow, people find themselves remembering who they really are and living from this true place. When there is ‘unfinished business’ in our lives, it is very hard to move on and engage with life fully. Grieving allows us to cross the bridge from past hurts and sorrow into a place of lightness and joy.”

And THAT is why we’re so in love with the topic of grief and grieving now too. Because we’ve experienced first-hand how it returns you to yourself and guides you back into a place of love, connection, wholeness and joy.

Which is why we’ve been wanting to get Donna on the podcast, ever since we did the Bridge, to talk about grief, love, healing, ritual and so much more and so that you could spend some time yourself with Donna who truly is an amazing woman, with so much wisdom and love to offer (not to mention 25 years of experience in working with individuals and groups and training with some of the most amazing teachers in the world). Even just 45 minutes of her on this podcast will leave you feeling somehow lighter.

>>> Listen to the podcast now by hitting play above or heading over to Apple Podcast or Spotify (we celebrate every new review we get on Apple podcast, so we'd love it if you added one!)

So as you go about your day to day this week or as you lie enjoying the sun on holiday, tune into this episode and let Donna’s words inspire and move you.

And if you want MORE from Donna then head over to the Vulnerable Podcast where our friend Rochelle also interviewed Donna (we literally tag teamed that day) where they talk about Donna’s personal story which is SO powerful, our warrior sides and how we seek out partners that are like our parents when we haven’t healed those wounds…and a whole lot more.

Basically, make this a Donna Lancaster week - she is true magic.

Thank you Donna.

x Selina
P.S. In our next episode we’ll be doing a half-way through the year review - a chance for us all to take a step back and see how the first half of the year has gone and create a plan and a focus for the next 6 months. If you did your Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 then bring it along to the next podcast session!


PODCAST: Why self-love is key when it comes to finding love and making love last


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

Today we’re celebrating the 3rd birthday of Get Ready for Love - our 30 lesson online course that helps women to transform their love lives from the inside out.

It truly has been such a powerful course - in the three years since we launched it, 600+ women have been through the course, discovering the power of self-love and how to open up to invite love into their lives - we’ve already had a number of weddings and even babies amongst our Get Ready for Love community and we have received some wonderful features in the press with a fresh new one coming out in Red magazine in just a couple of weeks!

But what has been the most powerful of all has been to see so many women discover the power of self-love. They come alive with it and we get to witness it every day in the Love Zone - the incredible online community that has grown up around the Get Ready for Love course.

So we decided to dedicate this next Project Love podcast episode to the power and importance of self love when it comes to both finding love and making love last.

And we invited members of the Love Zone to share their stories and lessons on love with us so that we could share them with you, both in this podcast episode and on a brand new gallery we now have here where you can read stories and lessons on love shared by women who have been through the Get Ready for Love course. They are so moving!

So press play on this latest episode below or over on Apple podcast or Spotify and feed up on the love!

X Vicki & Selina


Friendship: the love, the heartbreak and the hierarchy we need to get rid of!


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

We have a fresh new episode for you today and we can’t wait for you to hear it and get involved in the conversation with us over on instagram. Because today we are looking at a topic that we have all had strong experiences in: friendship.

Our friendships have the capacity to give us every bit as much love, connection, pain, heartbreak, growth and belonging as our romantic relationships and when it comes to friendships between women, there is plenty of research that proves that close female friendships are essential to our happiness and health.

So in this episode we looked at the power of friendship, the pain that can come with friendship break ups, how to make new friends as an adult and how to deal with the ‘friends’ that you realise aren’t treating you right and, perhaps the juiciest of all, how to handle the relationship hierarchy that seems to be at play in our society that relegates friendships to bottom rung once partners and kids come along. It was one of the biggest topics that came up when we got this conversation started over on instagram and the Love Zone last week. And it’s time we challenged that hierarchy and brought an end to it. It’s no good for anyone!

So hit play above or over at Apple Podcast and then carry on the conversation with us over on instagram @loveprojectlove

Oooooor let us know what you think of this latest episode (or the podcast as a whole) over on Apple Podcast (a 5* review would make our day ;) ).

Lots of love,

Selina & Vicki


Proof that you CAN consciously make your own dreams come true

I’ve been browsing through my old blog posts (I was an avid blogger for a good seven years before turning to podcasts) and I found one that really blew me away.

If you have a big dream that you would love to make come true, but you’re kind of avoiding it and not doing anything about it because a part of you just isn’t sure if it really is possible for you or if you are longing for a loving partnership in your life and wondering if It’s really ever going to happen for you, then read this blog post that I wrote four and a half years ago. Because knowing what we know now about what happened in my life just six months later, it gives a very compelling argument that you really CAN make your dreams come true. Even the big ones that you slightly fear can never happen for you.

At the time of writing the blog post I was single and had been single for a frustrated eight years. It was my life long dream to be in a loving relationship and have a family. But I hadn’t wanted to ever fully admit it. I just didn’t feel that that dream aligned with being a strong independent woman or perhaps deep down I was just very afraid it was never going to happen.

In this blog post I shared how for the first time I was finally owning my dream and the steps I was taking to help bring this dream to life.

Exactly two years later after grabbing hold of my dream and really owning it for the first time I was in the loving partnership I had been dreaming of and we had just found out we were expecting a child.

This is why I love doing what I do. Because it really does work. You can be the person that makes your dreams come true. And here, handily in this blog post. I give you step by step instructions on how to do that!

Read the blog post over on loveprojectlove.com and please drop me an email back and let me know if this post struck a chord. I love hearing from you guys.

x S

Here are the steps I took that I truly believed helped to make that dream come true:

"Do you have a dream that you don’t even dare to admit because you want it so much that it hurts and so you avoid it altogether? One that makes your heart ache when you think about it and so you’ve set your life up to distract you from the fact that you don’t live that dream?

A dream that lives right at the core of you, but that you fear probably isn’t ever going to happen for you and so you keep it buried?

Well up until very recently I have had one of those dreams.

One that lies deep at my core.

It’s a simple one. It’s a classic one. It’s downright unoriginal but here it is: to have a loving relationship and a family.

There are a million reasons why I had started to give up on this dream, but ultimately, like with your deepest longing, it was the longing itself that made it so painful. The not having it hurt too much. Being resigned to it not happening felt safer and less painful than holding out in hope that it might still one day come true.

I just couldn’t bear having this dream that I longed for, that didn’t seem to be in my reach. So I spent my energy on dealing with it not having come true. The result was a quiet sadness underneath all the joy, fun and happiness I was experiencing in my life. Not because I didn’t have a partner and family to wake up to every morning, but because I was denying my dream. I wasn’t giving it the space or the chance to grow.

I thought I’d pretty much managed to erase the dream altogether.

And then I went to a workshop in Esalen, California – all about getting in touch with yourself on a core level. And before I knew it I’d plucked this dream out of the dark and there it was unmistakeably alive and kicking and in my hands. I groaned. Not this one still.

See here is the thing:

Your dreams are alive IN you.

They start out as longings.

Your job is to create the space to bring them to life.

Having thoroughly workshopped my own dream out of an anxiety-inducing ‘let’s not even think about it, it’s just not going to happen’ to a blissfully calm and content ‘of course it’s going to happen, why wouldn’t it?’, I wanted to share with you the key steps that helped me take an old deeply buried dream and bring it back to life in a way that no longer causes me sadness and pain, but that makes me feel fuller, more complete and faithful to myself and my dreams again.

So take out your dream now. It’s time to breathe life and belief back into it:

Instructions for washing the disbelief out of your dreams and scrubbing them in sparkling reality:

1. You long for the thing that you are ready for

I’ve come to the conclusion of late that we’ve got it seriously wrong when it comes to longing. We’ve tangled it up with suffering and painful feelings of not having, not being complete, lacking in life in some big way. I think that we’re missing the whole point of longing and the critical part it plays in the whole ‘dream then make it happen’ cycle.

That feeling of longing is not a sign of something lacking, it’s the sign of a dream being ready to be brought to life. It signals the very start of a dream coming to life. It’s the seed.

2. Your dream fits you like a glove

Ask your friends what they long for, really really long for. I bet their answer will make sense to you. I bet you will be able to picture them at it because it’s just so them. It makes sense.

Well the same goes for you and what you long for. You’re longing for it because it’s an expression of who you are.  That dream fits you like a glove.
You are THE person to make that particular dream come to life.

You are having that particular dream, you are longing for that thing in life, because you are meant to one day live it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be dreaming it.

3. The dream is already alive IN you. Start to feel that and your dream will start to come to life.

Now bear with me on this one if at first this all sounds a bit of a stretch. It’s just because we are, most of us, still operating from the DO-HAVE-BE rather than the BE-DO-HAVE principle of how things come about in life. But it really does work. Try this for starters:

Step 1: Imagine what it would feel like if you were living your dream

That is the feeling of the dream already alive in you.  It’s like the seed underground of what will one day be a tree in full bloom above ground.

The tree is your dream realized. Your longing is the seed. It’s the start.

Step 2: What is an activity you can do or a place you can go where you can connect with that way of feeling on a regular basis? Is there somewhere in your body where that feeling lives? Connect with it there. Every day.

Because you need to start cultivating that feeling in you. Because as you cultivate that feeling, the dream starts to come alive and starts creating a space for it to emerge into your outside life.

When I went through these stages during the weekend workshop in Esalen I started by not even mentioning the dream that I had come up with. Then at some point, as I listened on and tried on these new ways of looking at my longings, the penny finally dropped. It was as if I finally acknowledged this dream, gave myself permission to have it, gave it the stamp of approval and the go ahead to believe in it.

As I did that I started to allow myself to feel what it would be like to be in a loving relationship and to have a family. I got comfortable in the feeling, got comfortable in the whole idea of it. Plenty of emotion came up in the process, but by the end of it I felt like a different woman. I still am feeling like a different woman. I connected with my dream, brought it to life again and now I am happily honouring it by simply allowing it to be without any fear or even thought of ‘what if it doesn’t happen?!’.

You know what? It feels totally possible and totally delicious.

I now feel confident that it will happen. No rush. But why wouldn’t it? I’m not attached to exactly how it will look, it has space to breathe and grow but I’ve noticed that my actions, my choices, my thoughts, my perspective around this whole area have shifted massively. Where there was pain and sadness, now there is ease and contentment. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s come as a huge shock! haha!

Living our dreams isn’t always the easy route. Far from it. Bringing your deepest desires to life requires being committed without being attached to a certain outcome. It requires you creating the experience you’re seeking through feeling and learning to embody it before it ever exists in the world outside of you. It requires patience, self-discovery, it requires dealing with disappointment and grief.

It sounds hard, and sometimes it is, but it is worth the effort. In bringing your longings to life you grow into your own skin, slip back into your core in a way very few other pursuits will cause you to do.

For now, it’s your go. Take that dream of yours out into the open, clean out the disbelief and breathe life and possibility back into it and let me know how it goes.”

And so there you are. Eighteen months later and I met the man that quickly became my loving partner and two years after writing this blog post we were expecting a baby.

The key for me in making that dream come true, I truly believe, was to own that dream, to take it seriously and to start making space for it and start taking action that would help me to bring that dream to life.

So let this be the encouragement YOU need to believe in your biggest deepest dreams and start doing the things that will help that dream to come true.

x Selina


🎙✨PODCAST: Emma Gannon and her amazing new book 'The Multi-Hyphen Method'


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

There are SO many reasons for why I am ridiculously excited about this week’s episode on the Project Love podcast.

First of all I got to interview one of my ALL TIME heroes.

Secondly she has just written a book which I truly believe is going to spark a MASSIVE movement in the world of work and will play a big part in encouraging people to really take their careers into their own hands and design careers that work for THEM.

I am talking about the amazing author, broadcaster and podcast host Emma Gannon and her truly brilliant book ‘The Multi-Hyphen Method’ which is about to hit the shelves on 31st May (pre-order it this minute over on Amazon).

I have been a HUGE fan of Emma and her work and in particular her Webby Award nominated podcast - Ctrl Alt Delete - for a long time. Her podcast is honestly my number #1 podcast to listen to - it has me introduced me to so many amazing female authors, entrepreneurs, thought-leaders and activists. Guests have included Liz Gilbert, Reni Eddo-Lodge and Lena Dunham to name but a few. And I LOVE the way Emma digs deep into topics with her guests in a down-to-earth, smart and insightful way.

So when I found out that Emma’s new book was focused on one of my all-time-favourite topics: working less, creating more and designing a career that works for you, I said to Vicki ‘I HAVE to interview her for the Project Love podcast and I have to get my hands on that book!’.

And so that is exactly what I did.

A few weeks later I met up with Emma (every bit as lovely in person as she is on her podcasts) in a sweltering Soho and got very excited talking with her about the new world of work that is emerging and how it is offering us exciting new opportunities to design careers that really do work for us.

So tune in, order your copy of ‘The Multi-Hyphen Method’ and let's get you designing a career that works for you.

x Selina

P.S. If you're not already subscribed to the Project Love podcast on iTunes then why not pop over and subscribe now :)