Discover what you really want to do with your life (and how to get paid for it)

It’s Selina here and I’m so excited for you to hit play on this week’s podcast. It is dedicated to those of you that are feeling stuck and miserable in your career, but don’t know what else you could do (or you have some ideas but can't choose which one to go for). And even more so if you love the idea of doing your own thing and being your own boss, but you just don’t know how to find that ‘right’ thing. Because THAT is what my guest on the podcast this week is ALL about.

Say hello to the wonderful Marianne Cantwell!

Marianne is best-selling author of ‘Be a Free Range Human’ - THE book that I always recommend when it comes to discovering what you love to do and finding a career that gives you fulfilment and freedom. She also delivered a killer TED Talk last year on ‘The power and importance of not (always) fitting in’ that has had almost 200,000 views to date.

And when it comes to creating a career for yourself that doesn’t require you leaving a piece of yourself at the door, then Marianne is your woman.

In fact together we’ve been designing and running courses to help people bust out of careers that make them miserable and show them how to create a career out of doing something they LOVE for almost a decade (!) And we are back together again after a 2 year break to run our most popular course - the Ideas Adventure - a 6 week online programme to help you discover what you really want to do with your life and how to get paid for it (sign up here if you want to find out more).

And so I invited Marianne to join me for this week’s episode to dive deep into…well all of it.

We talked about how to know when a traditional job is not for you (a lot of us simply aren’t suited to being employees!), how it’s not a case of having a job OR running your own business - there are all sorts of options out there for you - and how it’s not about finding the career that’s right for you, but creating the career that’s right for you. Plus a whole lot more.

There is nothing that Marianne and I love more than getting together to dive deep into the topic of escaping the 9 to 5 and creating a career you love so it was hard frankly to keep the podcast to under an hour. But I sort of managed it… 🤫

So I hope you enjoy it and if figuring out a new career direction is on your mind and listening to the two of us got you feeling fired up then click here to learn more about the Ideas Adventure over the next few weeks 💛

I hope to see some of you joining us on the journey. It will be my main focus in April :)

And as ever, if you enjoy this podcast and our podcasts in general then please do subscribe over on iTunes and leave us a review - you will make us very happy!

Much love,

x Selina

P.S. I am not currently taking on any 1-2-1 coaching clients so if you would like my help in figuring out a way of earning a living doing something that you love then the Ideas Adventure is THE way to work with me (and it is a LOT of fun)!

Our brand new Project Love *free* audio workshop | 'Self Love for busy women'

Happy Day of Love!!!!!!!!! 💗 💗 💗

As we do every year, we are hijacking Valentine’s Day and making it all about SELF-love.

And to celebrate this special day we have created a brand new audio workshop for you: ‘Self Love for Busy Women’ - an in-depth workshop on the topic of self-love and how to find smart and easy ways to give yourself the love you need, even when you have a jam-packed schedule and barely any time for lunch!

If you're already part of the Project Love tribe then a link to the workshop will already be sitting in your inbox. Otherwise head on over here to sign up and we'll send you the workshop straight away!

In the workshop you will learn:

• What we actually mean by self-love (and no, it’s not all bubble baths and expensive body lotions)

• Why self-love is a radical act that has the power to transform your whole life

• How to start a self-love practice if you’ve never done it before (and how to up your game if you have!)

• Our four favourite ways to practice self-love

• How to make TIME for a self-love practice, no matter how busy you are

• How to use your calendar as your canvas to make self-love a permanent fixture in your life
  
  We've designed this audio workshop for you to keep in your back pocket and use any time you've managed to get so busy doing other things that you've accidentally forgotten about one of the most important people in your life...YOU.

Because loving yourself isn’t just a nice to have. It is the KEY to you living a life that you LOVE.

Because when you learn to truly love yourself and become THE source of love in your own life, everything changes. Your life transforms from the inside out.

If you're looking for a loving partner in life then self-love is the magic that will attract that person in.

If you have ambitions for this year - things you want to make happen, goals you want to achieve - then self-love is the fuel that will help you make it happen while remaining grounded, fulfilled and in flow.

If you’re in a relationship, self-love will feed and nourish that relationship, keeping the flames of love alight and if you're a mother, wanting to create a happy home for you and your family, then self-love is the key.

So let’s make this the year that we ALL take a stand together, reclaim ownership of our time and make self-love a TOP priority in our lives.

It's time for a self-love revolution!

So download the 'Self love for busy women' audio workshop and let's get it started!

x Selina & Vicki

PODCAST: Real Love Story with Caroline Atkinson

So excited to share this podcast with you - a real love story with a friend of mine, Caroline Atkinson, whose love story with Gus spans almost 10 years.

We talk about relationship challenges, the incredible lessons learnt from spending 6 years apart, the importance of taking responsibility for your own happiness and the absolute joy of brunching on your own.

I remember attending a talk with Alain de Botton and he made reference to the fact that novels and films (in particular, fairy tales and rom coms) often don't give us a correct map of love and 'leave us unprepared to deal adequately with the difficulties of being in a couple'. And so we grow up with slightly unrealistic notions of love and what it means to be in a relationship. Hearing Caroline share her story really helped me to understand this more deeply and how we can update our 'map of love' to be more in-line with the realities of relating in today's world. 

I was so inspired by Caroline's journey of self discovery and self love and how she and Gus were able to start a new chapter in their relationship and the strength and vulnerability that requires, on both parts. I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved recording it.

V xxx

Your calendar is your canvas

As many of you are spending this month dreaming and planning for the year ahead we wanted to share with you a tool that is a must-have when it comes to life designing.

Because while the dreaming and planning part can all be very exciting, there isn’t much point to it if they remain forgotten in a notebook.

What you need is the real-life version of a magic wand that will help to bring those dreams and desires to life.

Welcome to the ultimate life design tool:

A calendar.

When it comes to designing and living a life you love, your calendar is your canvas.

Plenty of us use calendars in our day to day lives to keep on top of things at work and do what needs to be done. But the magic happens when you start to use it to create your life, by taking your list of things you want to fill your life with - from time with friends, to more sleep, to a monthly massage, to changing career -  and giving each of those things dedicated time and dates in your diary.

Suddenly your dreams and desires are now booked and ready to happen.

Here is how to do it.

If you did our Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 guide you will now have a beautiful book full of things you want to fill your 2018 with, so let’s get that list out.

If you didn’t do it then take a page and write down the activities, people, places, projects that you would like to fill your life with in 2018.

Include on your list any activities and practices you know you need on a daily or weekly basis to feel well, energised and calm in your body eg. proper breakfast to start the day, exercise twice a week, 8 hours sleep a night, a massage once a month.

Now get out your calendar (paper or digital, that’s up to you) and let’s start booking these things into your life and designing your day, your week, your month, your year, so that you are filling it with the things, people and places you love.

Daily commitments

Always begin with your wellbeing. It is THE foundation to a happy life. So start by looking at your daily calendar and book in the things you know you need to feel well and happy in your body, but that you often let slip.

So, for example, if starting the day with a nourishing breakfast is an important one for you, but something you usually forget to do, then get that in your diary as a daily date with yourself, setting your alarm to get you up 15 minutes earlier if necessary.

Eventually those nourishing breakfasts in the morning will become a natural part of your normal routine and you won’t have to schedule them, but until that happens, keep them as firm dates in your calendar.

Weekly commitments

Now let’s look at what you want to book in on a regular weekly basis as a fixed commitment - things you want to do for your wellbeing and happiness eg. time for exercise, dates with yourself, hobbies etc

Decide when in the week you want to commit to doing these things and book them in.

Also book in time each week dedicated to focus on any big changes or dreams you’re wanting to make happen in 2018. By creating dedicated time to focus on them, those changes and dreams are far more likely to happen.

Monthly commitments

Next schedule in the things you want to do monthly -  eg a massage, trip to the countryside, dinner for friends etc. If you need time to research, invite friends, make bookings in advance for these things to happen, then make sure you book in time for that too.

One-off yearly commitments

Finally, take a step back and look at your whole year ahead and block in time for the fun adventures, holidays, courses and outings you want to enjoy throughout the year, even if for now you can only pencil them in because you’re not yet sure on the exact dates.

Again, if any of these require a good amount of planning and research, then block out time to do that too.

And there you have it. A calendar that now has all your ingredients for a happy life firmly woven into it.

Now all you have to do is stick to those commitments. But that is for another blog post ;)

For now, enjoy painting that canvas of yours with the things you love and let us know how you get on.

X Selina & Vicki

Tip #1 of our 5 TOP TIPS to help you as you design your 2018

We’re getting our excitement on over at Project Love HQ with just FIVE DAYS TO GO until ‘Design a Life You Love in 2018’ kicks off - our 4 week online course that has you creating a beautiful vision for your 2018 and a practical plan of how you’re going to bring that vision to life (find out ALL about it and sign yourself up over here). 

To celebrate, Selina has whipped up 5 top tips to Designing a Life you Love - here is your first one for today. 

You can catch the rest over on YouTube

And if you’ve been thinking about signing up to the course, but haven’t yet, then why not make it your treat to yourself for today and sign up!

And we’ll see you on Monday when the party gets started! 

Don’t have your 2018 plan all figured out yet? Don't panic!

There is a strange kind of panic we’ve noticed flooding the social media waves at the moment, coming from people that seem to be feeling a pressure that they should have stepped into the new year with a fully formed plan for 2018, with some big fabulous dreams to impress the world with and a clear vision of how they are going to make it all happen.

And that they should be leaping into action already bringing those dazzling dreams to life.

How exhausting!

Now I know at Project Love we’re all about creating a big beautiful vision and plan for the year ahead, BUT… we don’t expect you to have it all figured out by now. No way!

Why would you?

In the run up to Christmas we barely have time to pause for breath and then, I don’t know about you, but I like to switch off from EVERYTHING over the Xmas hols: from work, from dreams, from plotting and planning. The whole lot.

I simplify life down so that my top concerns boil down to whether I should crack open that fresh new tray of Ferrero Roche or tuck into some of the left over cheese before the next film starts.

And so when the 1st Jan comes around, I couldn’t be further from having a clear vision for the year ahead.

In fact this year I didn’t do my ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ until this weekend and we haven’t even started on our vision and plan for Project Love…

So are we panicking and feeling like we’re falling behind?

NOOOOOOOOO.

Because at Project Love we don’t expect anyone, including ourselves, to have figured out their full 2018 vision and plan by the first week of Jan. Frankly we don’t even expect you to have figured it out by the end of Jan.

Because we have found over the years, that the first SIX weeks of the new year are the perfect time for dreaming and planning and it’s not until mid Feb that we expect to have a clear vision and a plan for the year ahead.

Why?

Because we know that getting clear on what dreams you want to follow and what you want to fill your life with for an entire year takes time.

• Time to explore and get clear on what it is you really need this year, to be happy and fulfilled.
   
• Time to allow your dreams to come to the surface and choose the ones you really want to go for this year.
   
• Time to create a vision and a picture of what you want your life to look like in 2018.
   
• Time to design a practical plan that will help you to bring that vision to life in the year to come.
   
• And time to lovingly deal with the doubts and fears that invariably come up when you dare to dream.

Which is why we don’t run our ‘Design a Life You Love in 2018’ course in December, we don’t even run it from the start of January.

We kick things off MID Jan.

Because we know from experience that it takes a good two weeks to get back into the swing of things after Christmas. And we like to give you 4 weeks to go through the Design a Life You Love process so that you have the time you need to really tune into your heart, try ideas on for size, sit with your dreams and really feel into what you really want this year to be all about.

So that by mid February you have a vision and a plan for the year ahead that really feels like the right vision and plan for you.

So if you’ve been feeling like you’re already falling behind one week into the new year and you should already know what your vision and goals are for 2018, then put your feet up and CHILL. You have plenty of time. You don’t even have to have started yet!

Enjoy these early weeks of the year - do whatever makes you feel good. Because at the end of the day ‘doing what makes you feel good’ IS the foundation to living a life you love. So start there.

And on 15th Jan, come and join us (and women from all over the world) as we set off on a 4 week journey that will help you create that vision and plan for 2018 that will have you following your sweetest dreams and filling your life with the things that will really make you happy. 

We can’t wait to go on this journey with you.

x Selina

Our most popular 'Project Love' Podcasts for 2017

As you get ready to pull the shutters down and fill your days with simple pleasures over the Christmas hols, we thought we'd set you up with a list of the most popular 'Project Love' podcasts THIS YEAR so that you can download them and fill your ears with them while you rest, eat and be merry.

It has been so wonderful to have so many people taking the time to tune in, and we can't wait to share more with you in the new year!

1. PODCAST | Women who follow their hearts | interview with Victoria Roberts

I got to interview one of my coaching clients - the wonderful Victoria Roberts. She has been on a beautiful journey of transformation over the last few years and I wanted her to share her story to inspire others that it is never too late to change more...

2. PODCAST: Interview with Chloe Brotheridge, author of 'The Anxiety Solution'

An interview Chloe Brotheridge, author of 'The Anxiety Solution: A Quieter Mind, a Calmer You'. Chloe, a clinical hypnotherapist and anxiety expert, wrote 'The Anxiety Solution' to help women manage modern anxiety triggers like perfectionism, social media pressure, people pleasing, fear of failure and fear of success.

3. PODCAST | How to set healthy boundaries and learn the art of saying 'no'

This Podcast is all about the importance of setting healthy boundaries and learning to say 'no' (the loving way). It’s a topic that has been coming up a lot lately among our Project Love communities and our friends. It seems to be something everyone knows they need to get good at, but they get stuck on how to do it.

4. PODCAST | How burn out and anxiety lead Kim Murray to find her purpose in life…benefitting us all!

We invited Kim Murray, founder of Happy Heads, into the Project Love studio so that she could share her beautiful story of transformation, that began with burn out and panic attacks brought on by a highly stressful period at work and had her going on a journey that not only brought her health back and left her feeling happier than ever before, but it also lead to her changing career and starting Happy Heads where she now teaches adults and children simple mindful tools to help them live happier, calmer and stress-free lives.

5. Imposter Syndrome...do you suffer from it?

This juicy podcast is on 'Imposter Syndrome' - something that a LOT of people seem to suffer from these days.
It's that feeling that any minute now you're going to be found out for being a fraud. That you're not everything people seem to think you are. That you don't deserve the position you have. That it's all been a big mistake and soon people are going to figure it out.
So why are so many people, including a lot of big name celebrities, suffering from this? And if it's something you suffer from, what can you do about it?

Lots of love

Selina & Vicki xxxx

For more Podcasts from Project Love click here. 

PODCAST with Naomi Mdudu | How to bring about BIG change in your life & grow a business in which you flourish

This week’s podcast is SUCH an energiser!

Selina invited Naomi Mdudu, founder of The Lifestyle Edit, onto this week's Project Love podcast show to share her amazing story of how she brought about BIG change in almost every area of her life after her 'dream job' as a fashion editor & an unhealthy relationship left her burnt out and miserable. She went on to start her own business, transform her love life and moved from London to New York all within about a year!

Since then she has been interviewing and working with hundreds of inspiring female entrepreneurs all over the world and has soooo much to share and so much guidance to offer when it comes to starting and growing a successful business.

Naomi is so inspiring, wise and beautifully vulnerable in the way she talks about her journey and her experiences and she is a natural talent when it comes to guiding others in growing a successful business in which they can flourish.

So if you are feeling ready to make a BIG change in life, if you run your own biz, if you’re in a relationship that just isn’t working, if you’re exhausted and you know something needs to change but you don’t know what, frankly if you have a beating heart, then this podcast is for you.

Listen in below or subscribe to all of our podcasts over on iTunes!

And if you fall in love with Naomi as much as we did and want more from her then head on over and sign up to her newsletter and check out her podcast over on The Lifestyle Edit.

PODCAST: The art of intuitive eating, listening to your body and feeding your soul

To celebrate 'Self-Care Week’ this week we invited holistic nutritionist and founder of Rooted London, the delicious Pandora Symes, to join Selina for a deep-dive into the topic of intuitive eating, how to listen to your body and the importance of feeding your soul with what it really needs. 

This one is guaranteed to nourish and might even get you falling a little more in love with that clever and beautiful body of yours.

Have a listen below or download it over on iTunes (and don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5 star review when you’re over there ;) )

x Selina & Vicki

To find out more about Pandora & the coaching, workshops and online courses she has to offer (and for a website PACKED with amazing recipes) visit http://www.rootedlondon.com/

The power of setting intentions - another key tool in your life design toolkit

In our last podcast ‘Why we all have to learn to dream again’ we talked about the power of allowing yourself to dream and taking those dreams seriously as a key tool in both designing a life you love and in bringing about the changes you want to see in the world.

In today’s podcast we talk about the power of setting intentions as another key tool in your life design and change-making toolkit.

From seven years of watching people go through our ‘Goodbye, Hello’ process, we have found this to be one of the single most powerful parts of the process. And what is interesting is to see the different ways these intentions can be used - either as a way to stay focused throughout the year on what is most important to you OR as a bit of a magic spell - casting out the intention into your year without having any idea exactly how it will manifest, but finding that the intention works as a magic seed with a life of it’s own that grows in all sorts of different (and often very unexpected) ways.

Come and join us for a half hour deep dive into the topic and if you’ve never tried it before, have a go at doing it yourself this month and see what it does for you.

Aaaand we are just a few more backers away from hitting 70% of our Kickstarter goal and at this rate we should hit the full target by next week! So if you haven’t ordered your copy of ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ but have been planning to, then please do it today to help us towards that funding goal!

xx Selina & Vicki

Your ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ ritual...how will YOU do it?

Wow what a week it has been! Five days ago we launched a Kickstarter campaign for our 'Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018'  book and audio guide and we have reached 35% of our funding already! Eeeeeek.

So get ready to have this baby in your hands by the time we all step into the new year!

And if you missed all the excitement last week then hurry on over to Kickstarter to check out what all the fuss is about and order copies for you and your friends!

Here we are getting pretty excited about it at our launch party last week!

via GIPHY

Now the only question that remains is how will you DO it? What will your 'Goodbye, Hello' ritual be?

Will you take yourself off for a date with yourself to do it? Will you do it with your partner and use it to step into the new year with a united vision? Will you do it with a group of friends so that you can all support one another in making your dreams come true throughout 2018?

Over the years we have loved hearing all the different ways people have turned ‘Goodbye, Hello’ into their own unique New Year tradition.

Here are some of our favourite ways of doing it that you can choose from. And if you have a way of doing it that you’d like to share with us, then hit reply and let us know what it is!
 

Take yourself on a date to do it

Take yourself off for the day, treat yourself to a brunch or lunch in your favourite cafe, snuggle in for a couple of hours and really spend time with yourself, reflecting on your life, the year you’ve just had and what you want out of the year that lies ahead.

"It has become my constant end-of-the-year ritual for the past 4 years! I always block some special me-time to do it"
- Nicole

“I went to yoga to clear my mind then settled into my favourite coffee shop for what turned out to be about four hours doing my 'Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017'”
- Paula

Do it with a group of friends

Arrange a lunch or dinner where you all get together with your copy of Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 and you spend the evening first writing your answers and then sharing your answers. It can be so powerful to have your dreams heard. These people will end up being your support team to help make those new dreams happen in 2018.

“I organised to do it last year with a group of friends and we can’t wait to do it again this year. There is something very special to hear your friends talk about their dreams and intentions for the year that lies ahead. I feel that we have been able to support one another in making our dreams come true so much more this year”.
- Lucy
 

Do it with a loved one (partner, sibling, best friend)

Arrange a cosy evening in or plan a lovely day out somewhere where you and your loved one can spend time filling in your own copy of Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 and then spend time sharing with one another the answers in your book and the dreams you are committing to in 2018. We know of a number of couples who now do this as a new year tradition so that they step into the new year supporting one another’s dreams.

“It's become an annual ritual for my partner and I - we've done both years. It's a really good structured way of reflecting on the year that’s passed and getting clear on goals for the year ahead”
- Marigold

We can't wait to see how you will do your 'Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018' this year! 

Love, Selina and Vicki xxx

'Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018' IS HERE!!!!!!!

Yippeeee! It's here, it's finally here!!
We could not be more excited to announce that...
 

‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’

Your guide to thriving in 2018 - is now live on Kickstarter!

* Available for a limited time only *
 

via GIPHY

This month we have been all about dreaming big and turning Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 into a book really is a dream come true! 

For those of you that haven't done it before, Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 is an end-of-year guide that helps you to do two things:

• To say a proper Goodbye to your year as it comes to an end, reflecting on all that you’ve done, all that you’ve learnt and all that you’re grateful for. The lessons, the love, the achievements, the people and the moments that marked this year and made it unique.
• And to say Hello to a brand new one with a clear focus and intention for the year ahead, with simple, tangible actions that help bring it to life. Looking at what activities, people, places you want to fill your life with in this coming year, what dreams you want to bring to life, what you want to learn and what you want to make happen in 2018.

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 then becomes your guide to help you navigate your way through the new year making sure you stay focused on the things that are most important to you. 

And for the first time ever we have created a brand new Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 audio to help you go even deeper into the process so that you have two coaches by your side to help you really get clear on what you want your 2018 to be all about. 

We love the idea of Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018, becoming the new ‘New Year's’ tradition for as many people as possible this year. And this is where we need your help!

* Come on over and take a look at it on Kickstarter, watch the video and take a close-up look at the beautiful design by Ruth Ridgeway,
* Order yourself a copy (or 4 - they make perfect Xmas gifts and we do a lovely discount when you buy for you and your friends). 
* Spread the word to your friends, work colleagues, family members, loved ones by sharing the Kickstarter link: http://bit.ly/goodbye2017hello2018

If we reach our funding goal by 26th November then Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 goes to print and we’ll all have it in our hands by the Christmas holidays. Woohoo!

Thank you so much in advance for your continued support and love.
Here's to making 2018 a year to remember and making dreams come true!

Selina & Vicki xxx
 

PODCAST | 'Going beneath the surface - an interview with Kirsty Hanly'

It's a wet, snuggle-at-home day here in London, so for those of you that are enjoying the same drizzly weather (and even if you're not!) we have a really juicy podcast for you to snuggle in and listen to...

'Going beneath the surface - an interview with Kirsty Hanly'

Join Selina as she dives deep into conversation with Kirsty Hanly -  coach, writer, TED Talk Speaker and Cognitive Hypnotherapy Master Practitioner.

Kirsty's passion is in helping people to live more connected and fulfilling lives, discover their true potential and to step into their dreams, by helping them move through the unconscious patterns that are holding them back in life.

She is the queen of getting under the surface of things, stripping back the layers to reveal what lies beneath.

Listen in as she and Selina get deep into conversation about what it takes to really get beneath the surface and open up to what we really want in life, how to find balance with our inner masculine and feminine energies and how orgasmic meditation can help you to really experience life in depth aaaaaand helps you to achieve mind-blowing orgasms. Hello.

So if you want to get in on all of THAT juicy conversation then listen in over on our blog. You can also listen and subscribe to our podcasts over on itunes (leave a review on there for us and you’ll make our day!)

To find out more about Kirsty and how to work with her, head over to http://inspiringlivescoaching.com/about-kirsty/

The 6 month group journey she is running with Yaron Engler on relationship, intimacy and love - Me You Us - starts this November - find out more over here: http://me-you-us.co.uk/

In next week's podcast...it's a special one not to be missed!

Next week we'll be getting deep into one of our all time favourite topics: 'why we all need to learn to dream again'

The importance and power of dreaming has been a big topic coming up with our coaching clients this year and in all the years that we've been coaching people we've found that one of the biggest blockers to people living lives they love is that they don't allow themselves to dream.

Dreaming is an essential tool when it comes to designing a life you love and NOT allowing ourselves to do it is having a far bigger impact on our lives than most people realise.

So check your inbox next week for a podcast ALL about it.

VIDEO | Selina's five top tips on how to start your career change

Today’s video is for those of you that are feeling fed up with your job and either thinking about changing career or starting to make it happen.

I’ve put together a little 18 minute Career Change Session specially for you, sharing with you my 5 top things to do (and one NOT to do) when you start wanting to make a career change.

I’ve been helping people change career and find work that they love for the past 10 years, helping over 2,000 people to figure out what it is they really want to do and how to make it happen. What I’ve found in all those years is that the big difference between those you go for it and make it happen and those who don’t, is that those who make it happen COMMIT to it, they make time in their lives to work on making that change and they TAKE ACTION.

Watch the video below and I’ll tell you more.

And if you are serious about really getting your career change going before the year is up then GET IN TOUCH.

I don’t often open the doors to coaching clients these days (full on with other Project Love stuff!) but autumn is always a time of year when people really start to get that back-to-school ‘I can’t do this for another year!’ feeling. And so this is the time of year that I like to focus on helping some of those people.

And so we are opening up TWO new spaces onto our 3 month 121 Career Change Coaching programme this autumn.

This is the programme where you get to have me as your personal coach for 3 months, helping to guide and support you as your figure out what it is you want to do with your career and then create a plan to make it happen.

I have just had the most amazing season with my two clients who are coming to the end of their journey with me. One (you know her on here - the wonderful Nicole) has quit her corporate job in that time, made a plan to travel the world for a year surfing and has found a new and exciting path as a coach and is already taking on her first guinea pig clients (whoop!), while the other has moved to a super cool new company and gone down to a 3 day week and is using the other two days to test out an amazing new biz idea (still top secret so I can't say more) and is writing a children's book

It's amazing how, when you really commit to making a change and get the right kind of guidance and support, how much can happen and how differently you can feel in just a few months.

So if you are ready to get serious about making a career change and you're ready to invest in getting the right guidance and support in helping you to do it then get in touch.

Drop me a line over at hello@loveprojectlove.com and let me know where you're feeling most stuck and when you'd be free for a chat this week or next.

X Selina

PODCAST: The trouble with online dating - why men and women alike struggle with it so much

We are so excited to share this with you - Selina interviews Vicki as she is fresh from hosting workshops on 'How to be Successful with Online Dating' for Match.com with both men and women. 

Listen in to hear about why men and women struggle so much when it comes to online dating and how you can get into the right headspace to enjoy it because what we've learnt is that while online dating can be hard at times, it can also be fun and a great learning journey when you approach it in the right way.

We hope you enjoy it as much as we did recording it!!

And we would love to hear from you - if this resonated with you or if you have any questions on online dating then do drop us a line at: hello<@>loveprojectlove.com and let us know your thoughts, comments and questions (of which we'll answer in future podcasts!)

Love, Vicki & Selina xxx

P.S. If you're feeling stuck in your love life then come and check out the 'Get Ready for Love' 3 month coaching programme with Vicki - she is taking on just two new clients this quarter - imagine if one of them were you. This is your chance to have Vicki as your personal love coach for 3 months, helping you to work through fears, limiting beliefs and negative relationship patterns that are holding you back in your love life. Limited spaces available - get in touch here and let Vicki know where you're stuck and she'll be in touch to arrange a discovery call with you.

PPS And if you'd love to start your 'Get Ready for Love' journey with us online then check out our online course over here which has had 500+ women learn how to approach dating in a loving way and how to get ready for a healthy and happy relationship. As well as having Selina and Vicki as your co-pilots on your 30 day journey, bringing you videos and audio tutorials bursting with energy and love, you would also have access to our private FB group full of like-minded women who support and celebrate each other to grow - it’s gorgeous. We look forward to welcoming you in there!

PODCAST | How burn out and anxiety lead Kim Murray to find her purpose in life…benefitting us all!

Hi there, it’s Selina here, with a fresh new podcast to kick off your week! 

I invited Kim Murray, founder of Happy Heads, into the Project Love studio so that she could share her beautiful story of transformation, that began with burn out and panic attacks brought on by a highly stressful period at work and had her going on a journey that not only brought her health back and left her feeling happier than ever before, but it also lead to her changing career and starting Happy Heads where she now teaches adults and children simple mindful tools to help them live happier, calmer and stress-free lives.

And people have been raving about her work - from helping children who have suffered bereavement, to stressed-out adults, to her new urban retreats in London.

So as well as hearing her story, we spent time talking about why, in a digital age, we all have to learn to be proactive about keeping our minds healthy and how we can do that. Kim shares some wonderfully simple but effective tips and tools on how to practice mindfulness and weave little moments of meditation into your day to day, particularly if (like me) you know you should meditate, but you just don’t seem to get round to doing it. 

Her tools and guidance on mental fitness in a digital age honestly have been a real game changer for me.

So I cannot wait for you to listen to Kim’s inspiring story and to hear her tips on how to keep mentally fit, happy and healthy, in a digital age.

Click the orange play button at the top of the page or head over to itunes and listen to it there.

I hope this gives a lovely uplifting start to your week!

And Kim's next one day Happy Heads urban retreat is on Saturday 14th October, spaces are limited so email kim@happyheads.me if you're interested and she’ll give you information on how to book.

Lots of love,

x Selina

P.S. If you enjoyed this podcast or any of our podcasts then come and subscribe over on itunes so that we can deliver each new podcast direct to your device and it would make our day if you would leave a review ('I love these podcasts' will do!) and rating - each one makes a big difference.

The power of mindset to change the course of your love life (by looking at online dating in a whole new way!)

When I help women who are really stuck in their love lives, the first place I begin is by looking at their mindset and how they feel about their love life and about dating. Because your mindset is THE biggest predictor of success in your life and plays a massive role in determining the health and happiness of your love life.

Research from Carol Dweck, who is the queen of this topic (after studying it for over 20 years) shows that there are two basic mindsets that shape our lives - a fixed mindset (“where success is based on innate ability”) and a growth mindset (“where success is based on hard work, learning and training”).

Dweck’s work shows how someone with a fixed mindset evaluates the world through the binary notions of ‘success/failure’, ‘winner/loser’ and being ‘accepted/rejected’, however someone with a growth mindset sees failure as a temporary setback because their priority is all about learning and growing. And they embrace challenges and learn from their mistakes, which makes them more resilient than someone with a fixed mindset.

“When you enter a mindset, you enter a new world. In one world—the world of fixed traits—success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating yourself. In the other—the world of changing qualities—it’s about stretching yourself to learn something new. Developing yourself.”

— Carol Dweck

So how does this relate to online dating?

Well someone with a fixed mindset would think that they’re not getting results from online dating because they’re just not cut out for it or that they’re unlucky in love. Or they might believe that finding love is down to fate and that ‘it will happen when it’s meant to happen’. Online dating feels hopeless and exhausting from this place, compounded by the fact that other people seem to find guys online no problem.

However, someone with a growth mindset would see online dating as a tool for self growth and an opportunity to get to know people you wouldn’t otherwise have met. Someone with a growth mindset would add the word ‘yet’ to challenges, so they might say “I haven’t met the right person… yet” (usually when well meaning family members ask them that age old question ‘why are you still single’?). They are hopeful about the future and they draw inspiration from the people who are really enjoying online dating and who have met their match online. Rather than feeling threatened by the success of others, they are encouraged by it, as it shows what’s possible for them. They are curious to learn from the success of others and how they work through challenges.

This is the difference between a woman who believes that it’s never going to happen for her when it comes to having a relationship and that all the good guys are gone (so wonders whether there’s any point in persisting with online dating) to the woman who believes that of course it will happen for her, she just hasn't met the right person YET. And it's not a matter of ‘IF’, it’s ‘when’ she's going to meet someone.

When I was coaching a client recently, she was telling me how she has a growth mindset about pretty much everything in her life, particularly in her career but when it comes to love and dating, she feels like she should just ‘know’ how to be really good at it and she puts so much pressure on herself to ‘find the one’. Every date that she goes on that doesn’t result in her finding this person feels like a waste of time and has her feeling like a failure in the love department. Carol Dweck speaks to this in her book ‘Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential’:

“In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail—or if you’re not the best—it’s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome. They’re tackling problems, charting new courses, working on important issues. Maybe they haven’t found the cure for cancer, but the search was deeply meaningful.”

— Carol Dweck

You might think that this sounds very much like those quotes on Pinterest that encourage you to ‘focus on the journey and not the destination’ but Dweck’s work is grounded in rigorous research into the mind and the power that we have to change the course of our lives:

“As you begin to understand the fixed and growth mindsets, you will see exactly how one thing leads to another—how a belief that your qualities are carved in stone leads to a host of thoughts and actions, and how a belief that your qualities can be cultivated leads to a host of different thoughts and actions, taking you down an entirely different road”

— Carol Dweck

So taking inspiration from Dweck’s work, here are 5 ways that you can use the power of mindset to change the course of your love life, by looking at online dating in a whole new way:

1. Set yourself healthy intentions

Most of the online dating advice out there focuses on how to find a partner but that is a huge ask and puts so much pressure on those early interactions, not to mention the pressure it puts on you and your date. See online dating as a tool to meet like-minded people for a coffee, rather than a way to meet your future husband, which will help to take the pressure off those early interactions. And it means that the date is less likely to feel like a job interview and will be way more fun for you!

2. Get inspired

If you’re feeling disillusioned about online dating then time for a shot of inspiration to get you feeling optimistic again. Ask your friends if they know any couples who've met their partner online and go and speak to them and see what you can learn from them. And find examples of women who are really enjoying online dating (they are out there!) - let their optimism inspire you and get you excited about what’s possible for you.

3. Choose to see rejection as redirection

Dealing with rejection is one of the hardest parts of the online dating process because it brings up all of our fears and insecurities about not feeling good enough. Some people find rejection a lot harder to handle than others and it’s our ability to handle rejection that is key in developing resilience when it comes to online dating. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s a good thing (trust me) because it’s impossible to be all things to all people… not to mention exhausting. Rejection isn’t failure, it’s just feedback - maybe it’s feedback about the kind of person that you now know isn’t right for you or maybe there is an opportunity to learn and grow from the experience. Choose to see every rejection as re-directing you to something better.

4. See dating as an adventure to try new things

Clients tell me that they worry about ‘wasting time’ if the date doesn’t go anywhere after the first or second date. So why not see dating as an adventure to try new things? Make a list of places that you’d love to visit or activities that you’d love to try and start ticking things off the list, then if it doesn't go anywhere beyond the first date, you’ve still had fun in the process.

5. Recruit a dating wing woman

You may encounter a whole spectrum of emotions on your dating journey so ask a friend (someone who is positive and optimistic about online dating) to be your dating wing woman to support you and keep your spirits up when you need a boost.

Online dating gets a bad rep but if you think about it, never before have we been more supported and empowered in our love lives. You get to choose how to make online dating work for you (and not the other way around). So if you haven’t been enjoying online dating recently then try approaching it in a different way and see how that helps you to enjoy it more.

The power to change the course of your love life is in your hands and yours alone. And that is an incredibly liberating place to be.

V x

PS Let’s talk more - I would love to hear from you! Drop me an email on <hello[@]loveprojectlove.com> if any of this resonated or if you have any questions or comments. And let me know how you get on with the tips - I really hope they make a difference to you.

PPS If you’re reading this and feeling like you could really do with some help and support in your love life then check out ‘Get Ready for Love’, our 30 day online course that has helped 500+ women learn how to approach dating in a loving way and how to get ready for a healthy and happy relationship. As well as having Selina and me as your co-pilots on your 30 day journey, bringing you videos and audio tutorials bursting with energy and love, you would also have access to our private FB group full of like-minded women who support and celebrate each other to grow - it’s gorgeous. We look forward to welcoming you in there!

PODCAST | an interview with one of the biggest Love Ambassadors we have ever met

Vicki and I have been talking a lot recently about what it is to be an Ambassador of Love in life - to proactively spread love out in the world through action - the work that you do, through charity and through random acts of kindness and love.

And so we were SO excited to meet Gayle Berry when she joined Project Love 365 (our membership programme to support you designing a life you love).

Gayle is THE biggest Ambassador of Love I think I have ever met. From the work that she does, to the charity she helps to run to the #mamakindness campaign she ran recently.

Gayle is a Queen of LOVE.

She stands SO firmly in love and just hearing her talk about her work, her relationship, her family and the way she approaches life is truly inspiring.

So if you have ever wanted to do work you love, make a difference in the world, have a loving and happy relationship or help to spread more love out into the world, then tune in and be inspired...

x Selina

Find out more and follow Gayle…

Her baby massage business: www.blossomandberry.com

Love Support Unite - the charity: www.lovesupportunite.org

This is a GORGEOUS and inspiring video about what they do: https://vimeo.com/114916198 (watch this space for a podcast interview with the women that started it!)

Get your hands on the love specs here: www.lovespecs.org

And check out Gayle’s #lovecreateslove campaign: https://www.blossomandberry.com/benefits/love-creates-love-campaign/

And to listen to the podcast I mention on Goddess Archetypes, head over here

The power of projects when you’re starting a business or changing career

For those of you with dreams and ideas of changing career or starting your business (or making any life change for that matter) then THE BEST way to try things out and see what it is you really enjoy, is to set yourself small 1-3 month projects that allow you to try on your ideas for size and bring your dreams to life in small ways.

When I was trying out different career and business ideas I turned them all into mini projects. In fact I have built my whole career out of projects and the projects that didn't work out were often the ones where I learnt the greatest lessons.

Here is a video that I pulled out of the archives where I share about a 6 week business that I ran, that taught me SO much about what I did and didn't like AND gave me the experience of setting up a business from start to finish.

Excuse the slightly glowing and smudged quality of the video - video effects had just arrived on iphone in those days and I was getting experimental!

x Selina
 

A message to the next generation about the power of sisterhood

For the past four years I’ve been enjoying being part of a growing sisterhood community. We gather together in circles in person and on whatsapp and talk about what is going on in our lives. We celebrate the things that are going well, share the challenges and the heartaches and set intentions for our lives and what we want to contribute to the world around us.

It can sound super cheesey from the outside, but every woman that has had their first experience of a sister circle has had the same response: ‘I really needed that’.

And I believe that as women we really do need it.

There is something about women coming together and supporting one another that seems to nourish and heal us on a very deep level

Which is why the sister circles that I’m part of are held in such high esteem and love by the women that are part of them.

And which is why we are always encouraging women to have a go at their own sister circles – to experience the simplicity and power of them.

So today I wanted to share with you a poem that expresses the power and beauty of sisterhood.

It was written last month to welcome little Loli into the world. She is the first baby girl to have been born into our sisterhood crew and when her mother was planning her naming ceremony she asked all of the women in the sister circle to write something about what sisterhood meant to them, so that it could be woven together and read out at the ceremony.

And so here are the words that Loli’s godmother (also part of the sister circle) stood up and read out at a ceremony to welcome her god daughter into the world. A message of love and sisterhood, woven from the words of the sisterhood of women that support her mother.

“Sisterhood exists.
And it is truly powerful

It's the strength of a united force
One that's immediate with the women you surround yourself with
And one that’s universal with your sisters from around the world

Sisterhood creates a space of nourishment and love
A place to celebrate your everyday joys and triumphs
And one to hold one another when joy seems far away

Sisterhood is where you are supported when you are at your most vulnerable
It's a space to listen, and to be heard
For both the laughter
And where you ask for help

Sisterhood is surrounding yourself with women
whose energy ignites your spirit.
A space to grow and flourish.

It is listening without judgement,
Without needing to give advice.
It is allowing women to be beautifully real
And fearlessly be themselves

Sisterhood exists.
And it is truly powerful

It’s a force that when it’s awakened
has the power to heal
both one another
And the world around us

Loli –You will always have the support and strength of your mama's sisters around you.  And with this, hopefully, you will learn how to choose and find your own sisterhood.

Which is one of the most powerful things a girl can have.”

X Selina

P.S. If you want to start your own sister circle (all you need is three of you to create one) then download our ‘Guide to starting a sister circle’