Research shows that most of what we reveal about ourselves comes from our body language. We give clues to what we think and feel through our body postures, use of space, facial expressions and eye movement. And this affects how others see us and it influences their judgement of us. Sometimes, what we communicate is pretty accurate to what we're feeling and the messages we want to give off.
But sometimes it's not accurate and we give off mixed messages. So take a second to stop reading this and just check-in with your body. Maybe you're hunching at your desk, or maybe you're folding your arms on your phone. Whatever you're doing, ask yourself whether this is the kind of message you want to give off? Do you look open / closed? Welcoming / stand-offish? Worried / relaxed?
So we convey what we think and feel through our body language, but this is nothing new. What's interesting is that our body language can affect how we think and feel, leading to changes in our brain chemistry. So it goes both ways. For instance, we smile because we're happy but it's possible to be happy because we're smiling. Even if we don't feel like it, just by faking a smile tells the brain that we're happy.
Amy Cuddy reveals some incredible research findings in this moving TED talk. Her line of study is in power dynamics and she found that tiny tweaks in body position can lead to hormonal changes which influence confidence and our response to stress. So knowing this, we can use our body to configure our brain to be more confident and less stress reactive. And all it takes is two minutes.
So start being mindful of how you use your body and notice what signals you're giving off. Because if you're feeling ready for love then you need to switch on your green light and show you're available. The simplest way to do this is by smiling and opening up your body by relaxing the shoulders and holding your head high. And this isn't just limited to the usual bars / clubs where you think you might meet people. You can do this anywhere - walking down the street, the office, the gym, shopping, on the tube... the list goes on. So the next time you're in a public space and there's some eye candy there, show them you're available. Practice on your journey home from work tonight and have some fun with it - you never know who you might meet...
And if you already have a hot date lined up and you're nervous, then try the Wonder Woman pose for 2 minutes before you go - in the loo / at your desk (not on the date itself, obvs). It might feel ridiculous at first but if you fake it, fake it and fake it then one day you'll become it.