My unapologetic self

Shani

Shani, this dazzling lady in the picture, is one of the many fabulous women doing our Get Ready for Love course. As she got to the end of the course recently she shared how it had empowered and changed her whole outlook, not just on love and relationships, but on herself (which is what Project Love is ultimately all about) and above all it had her finally realise how loveable she really is and that it was time to STOP APOLOGISING for being who she is.

We were so moved by her message that we wanted to share it with you too…so here it is, over to you Shani!

“There are many powerful lessons I will take with me from the course but here’s my “bottom line:

I am done apologizing for who I am, for my successes, my wishes, my dreams, what I want to do, and what I’d like to wear or eat.

I never thought I was one of those women who gave up parts of themselves, or made themselves smaller just for the sake of being with a guy or even just for getting through a date, but the Get Ready for Love course had me take a closer look and I discovered how much I’d been selling myself short, playing small and apologizing for being who I truly am.

I was my own worst critic, holding myself to ridiculous and unrealistic standards that aspire to perfection that had me believing that I did not deserve a good and healthy relationship because I wasn’t good enough.

Suddenly I was able to look back at the many times I had sat through dates and played myself down, all the times I felt hurt by a boyfriend, friend or relative, but didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make a fuss. The many times that I thought “he’s probably not interested” or “he’s probably not interested in hearing this” and how often I would say “I know this may sound stupid, but…”. All the times I felt my body or face were not pretty enough. All the times that I felt I wasn’t enough.

And here is the thing: I really am quite fabulous, if I think about it.

I am intelligent, I have interesting stories and experiences, I’m a good friend, a good listener, and I love my family. I can be super serious and I can be silly and funny. I get along with almost every type of person. I wish I could put ‘laughing until my stomach hurts’ under hobbies. When I love someone, either a friend or a lover, I love them with all of my heart, like 200% of it. I am also sensitive, creative, crafty, good gifts giver, know how to make amazing cupcakes and other stuff pretty well too. I like to travel, dance, yoga, meet new people, and I have the ability to be the last person on the dance floor at a party or a wedding without having a single alcoholic drink (I am a bad drinker). My closet contains too many sparkly clothes – because I once saw a saying: “life is a party, dress like it” and really identified with it. I had proven myself over and over again that I am determined and I can do whatever I set my mind to. SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I APOLIGIZING FOR??? Not sure. I am sure it is about me being a perfectionist (but not anymore) and criticizing myself like no one else would (not anymore), and just apologizing all the freaking time, to everyone, about everything (NOT.ANY.MORE). It has been so exhausting.

Now I feel free.

So for the upcoming months I am actively practicing being done trying to be perfect and being done criticizing myself for every little thing, and definitely being done making myself smaller than what I really am.

I don’t want to be with anyone who would feel intimidated by me anyway and I want my partner to be someone who empowers me while I empower him – a mutual growth and support through our shared life.

So thank you Get Ready for Love – you’ve been eye opening and inspiring and showed me that there are many more other fabulous women like myself around the world facing the same ups and downs in different ways and similar experiences. Selina and Vicki, you two are too fabulous to even start describing – your good energy is intoxicating!

And I hope each and everyone here will find her truest self and her truest love.

Yours,
The unapologetic, Shani
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