love

EP: 71 Real love story interview with Lauren Leopold (Vicki’s former client!)

Vicki here! I have the most beautiful and inspiring real love story podcast for you today in celebration of me opening the doors to working with new love coaching clients this Summer. It’s really exciting to announce this to you for the first time in 3 years (where there has been a waiting list for love coaching since 2016!).

Tune in to listen to this weeks’ episode where you’ll hear Lauren’s beautiful love story and journey of self love and transformation.

Lauren wrote to me back in 2015 when her self esteem and confidence were at an all time low, feeling stuck in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. All around her were friends getting married and buying houses together and she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe it just wasn’t going to happen for her like it had for so many of her friends. She had convinced herself that she would always feel anxious around men, that she was hard to love and that she was unworthy of a loving relationship.

In 2016, I started working with Lauren and took her through the 3 month Get Ready for Love 121 coaching programme and I witnessed her grow and transform and open up to love in the most beautiful way. Over the course of the sessions, Lauren’s confidence started to grow, she started to get to know herself (and actually quite like herself!) and over time, she became available to the loving and secure relationship that she now knew that she deserved.

Cut to today and she has just returned from the most magical wedding in Devon where she married her best friend, surrounded by the people she loves most in the world.

Lauren’s story is such a wonderful example of someone who turned her love life around. It wasn’t easy and she faced a lot of fears along the way but she had the courage and the willingness to learn and grow and do the work and that was key to her transformation.

If Lauren’s story resonates with you and if you too dream of being in a loving and secure relationship then know that you can make that dream come true. Don’t give up on that dream or leave it up to fate or chance. With courage and the willingness to learn and grow, you too can change the course of your love life, just like Lauren did. I am so passionate about working with clients on the journey of getting ready for love and I can’t wait to hear from you if you are ready for that journey too!

If you would like to be one of the four new clients I am taking on this summer on my 3 month love coaching programme then head on over here to check out the programme. If it sounds like just what you need, then fill in the form to book in a discovery call with me - I have put aside time in my diary to talk to you next week (w/c 24th June).

I hope you enjoy the podcast!

Love, Vicki xx

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PODCAST - 'Get Ready for Love' series | EP: 10 Are you feeling fed up and burnt out by dating?

 
 

If you are feeling fed up, emotionally fatigued and absolutely bloody exhausted by dating then you could be experiencing dating burnout.

And if you are, you’re not alone.

In fact, a study by anthropologist Dr Helen Fisher found that 54% of women currently feel exhausted by modern dating.

So why does dating leave so many of us feeling burnt out and what can you do when it happens to you?

Well we’ve dedicated our last Get Ready for Love episode in the series to this very topic.

Tune in to hear why dating burn out is so common and what to do to avoid it.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

X Vicki and Selina

P.S. Want to learn the three simple things you can do right away to maximise your chances of meeting the right kind of person for you? Then check out our free dating masterclass.

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PODCAST - 'Get Ready for Love' series | EP: 9 Are you fed up of always attracting unavailable ones? Here is how to break that pattern

 
 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

Do you seem to keep attracting (and being attracted to) the unavailable ones when it comes to dating? You know, the ones that seem all keen at the start, or all chatty when you’re first messaging and then, when things start to feel like they could get a bit more serious, all of a sudden they are super busy at work, they start saying they’re not sure they’re over their ex 🙄 or they just disappear off the scene with no explanation?

Then this episode is for you!

There is nothing more frustrating than starting to like someone only to find they weren’t really ready for an actual relationship 😤 so how do you avoid the unavailable ones? How do you spot them right from the start and how do you start attracting (and being attracted to) the available ones?

Hit play and find out!

X Vicki and Selina


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Try our new Project Love Couples Check-in Tool

 
 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

If you’re in a long term relationship do you ever feel like you get stuck in a bit of a rut sometimes of feeling like you’re more housemates than loving and attentive partners? Do you ever find yourself getting irritable and feeling frustrated that your partner isn’t giving you what you need or making you feel the way you want to feel in a relationship? Do you ever wish that there was a little more connection and love between the two of you?

Well congratulations! It means that you are human!

All of us, no matter how much we love our partner, will have times where they just don’t seem to be giving us what we need, where we only ever seem to have conversations about who is doing the dinner tonight and can you remember to pick up toilet paper on the way home.

Which is why taking the time to step back together from your busy lives and really focus and reconnect as a couple is absolutely vital to making love last.

But how do you do that?

Well, inspired by the Rewilding your Relationship couples retreat we did with Canopy and Stars back in 2018, we wanted to have a go at creating a tool for couples to use, to help them reconnect, address any issues bubbling under the surface and get the love flowing.

A tool that you can use whenever you need a bit of a relationship check-in.

So we teamed up with Canopy and Stars to do it, because honestly, there is nothing that supports and nurtures reconnection with yourself and your partner like being in nature and in beautiful relaxing, luxurious surroundings and that is what Canopy and Stars are all about (if you haven’t checked them out yet, come and feast your eyes on all the amazing glamping places you can stay over here, from treehouses, to yurts, to cabins, all nestled in beautiful natural surroundings, from woods to lakes to the sea).

We each went for two nights to a Canopy and Stars magical location (Vicki went to Ditchling Cabin and Selina went to The Treehouse at Harptree Court) and we tried out our couples check-in tool to see how it worked and WOW, the check-in combined with staying in the most amazing C&S places had such a powerful and long-lasting effect on both of us and our relationships.

Ditchliny Cabin

Ditchliny Cabin

The Treehouse at Harptree Court

The Treehouse at Harptree Court

So in this episode we share what we learnt from using our Project Love Couples Check-in tool and the power of reconnecting with your partner in nature.

And now you can download the Project Love Couples Check-in Tool here and give it a go yourself!

And when you do, email us at hello@loveprojectlove.com and let us know how you got on.

And thank you to Canopy and Stars - we are officially obsessed and we will be back!

X Selina and Vicki

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PODCAST: ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 8 How to navigate the absolute minefield that is texting while you’re dating (you’re welcome!..)

 
 

When it comes to dating, the whole question of when you should text, how much you should text, why haven’t they texted, what does that mean?! is a flipping minefield.

When I was dating I spent sooo many precious hours of my life worrying about what texts (or lack of texts) meant and how I should respond.

It was a big learning journey for me and one, I’m glad to say, I eventually figured out (and it wasn’t by learning any rules!).

So in today’s Get Ready for Love episode, Vicki gives us her top tips on how to navigate the texting minefield so that you can stop wasting precious hours of your life worrying about texts (or lack of texts too!)

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

X Vicki and Selina

P.S. If you’re feeling a bit meh about online dating and needing a shot of inspiration then come and join our free dating masterclass where you’ll learn the three simple things you can do right away to maximise your chances of meeting the right kind of person for you (plus so much more). And did we mention it is absolutely free? Watch it here.


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The most BEAUTIFUL love story

 
 

We have the most moving, inspiring and utterly beautiful love story to share with you this week.

It’s the story of Syreeta Challinger and Rob Mackenzie, founders of Moments Of Sense & Style (MOSS), who are honestly one of the most inspiring couples you’ll ever meet.

Syreeta and Rob share their story of meeting in Hong Kong (where they both lived and worked), falling in love and how their whole world was turned upside down when Rob suffered a brain haemorrhage and stroke while they were on holiday in Sydney back in 2014.

They talk about love and loss, hope and strength, the healing powers of creativity and how this led them to create MOSS, a brand and business that aims to create light out of the darkness.

This is a story that illustrates the power of love like no other and a reminder that ‘no matter the struggle, there is always a way through’ (Syreeta’s beautiful words).


🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

And be sure to visit their online shop MOSS and follow them on Instagram.

X Selina & Vicki



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PODCAST: ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 7 ‘Isn’t finding love just down to fate?’

 
 

If there is even a small part of you that believes that maybe finding love really is just all down to fate, then you need to listen to today’s episode.

It could be that very belief that is stopping you from opening up and allowing love to find you.

It’s time to take finding love out of the hands of fate once and for all!

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

X Vicki and Selina

PS have you watched our Video Masterclass - ‘A Modern Approach to Finding Love’ yet? It is such a goodie and totally free! Head on over here and we’ll send it to your inbox straight away :)


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PODCAST - ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 6 ‘Dating + Attachment | Q&A with Psychologist and Attachment style expert Helen Dent

 
 

So this week we have a very special guest on the GRFL podcast! Vicki interviewed Helen Dent, a clinical and forensic Psychologist, Attachment style expert and author of “Why Don't I Feel Good Enough?: Using Attachment Theory to Find a Solution” and we talked all about attachment styles and how our style can underlie our dating behaviours (and the dating behaviours of others). Here is a quiz where you can discover your style!

Vicki asked all of the questions that you sent in (thank you for those), including ‘how to spot the signs of emotionally unavailable men?’ and ‘how to recognise if you yourself are being emotionally unavailable?’. It was SUCH a fascinating conversation!

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

For more on attachment theory then check out ‘Using attachment theory to help our relationships to grow’, which is the podcast that Vicki also recorded with Helen.

We hope you enjoy the episode!

X Vicki and Selina

PS Psst have you watched our Video Masterclass - ‘A Modern Approach to Finding Love’ yet? It is such a goodie and totally free! Head on over here and we’ll send it to your inbox straight away :)


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PODCAST - ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 5 ‘How long should I wait to date after a break-up?

 
 

In this week’s episode from our Get Ready for Love series, we talk about dating after a break-up and specifically, how long you should wait before getting back out there and into the world of dating again.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

Have you watched our Video Masterclass - ‘A Modern Approach to Finding Love’?

It is such a goodie and totally free! Head on over here and we’ll send it to your inbox straight away!

X Vicki and Selina

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PODCAST - ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 4 ‘Can we ever get good at handling rejection?’

 
 

In this week’s episode from our Get Ready for Love series, we asked the question: ‘Can you ever get good at handling rejection?’. Selina shares how her narrative around rejection made dating a source of suffering for years and Vicki offers her advice on how to reframe rejection so that it is much easier to bounce back from.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

Have you watched our Video Masterclass - ‘A Modern Approach to Finding Love’?

If not, then head on over here and we’ll send it to your inbox straight away free of charge!

X Vicki and Selina

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PODCAST - ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 3 ‘What to do if you get Breadcrumbed’

 
 

We have a fresh new ‘Get Ready for Love’ episode over on the Project Love podcast and we can’t wait for you to listen to it. In this week’s episode, we talk about breadcrumbing - what it is and what to do if it happens to you.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

And juuuust in case you missed it, these episodes form part of our new Get Ready for Love series where we bring you bitesize episodes each week to help you to navigate the world of modern dating and find the right partner for you. In these episodes, we answer your burning questions on all things dating and we bring you practical guidance and ‘how to’s in less than 15 minutes (perfect for listening during the daily commute or en route to a date!).

Listen to the first two episodes below if you missed them:

And if you are needing some help and support on your dating journey then check out our coaching programme ‘Wing Woman’ where you will have Vicki as your personal love coach and wing woman to hold your hand and guide you through it!

'Wing Woman' is a 2 month coaching programme designed to transform your whole experience of dating. From getting in the right headspace for dating to creating a profile that will attract the kind of person you want to meet, to dealing with dating nerves and fears and everything in between, Vicki will be your wing woman, lovingly guiding you through the dating journey, helping you to approach it from a place of love (and to have some fun with it!). Apply to join the programme over here and book in your discovery call with Vicki.

With love,
X Vicki and Selina





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PODCAST - ‘Get Ready for Love’ series | EP: 2 ‘What can I do if I hate online dating?’

 
 

Ahhh it’s been so wonderful to see so many of you enjoying last week’s episode in the Get Ready for Love series!

Just in case you missed it, last week we launched the Get Ready for Love podcast series where we bring you bitesize episodes to help you to navigate the world of modern dating and find the right partner for you. In these episodes, we answer your burning questions on all things dating and we bring you practical guidance and ‘how to’s in less than 15 minutes (perfect for listening during the daily commute or en route to a date!). If you missed last week’s episode, ‘how you can relax and be yourself on a first date’ then head over here.  

Sooooo onto episode two! In this week’s episode, we talk about what you can do if you hate online dating (because we know that so many of you do!). We loved recording this one for you.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

And if you are finding online dating to be a source of stress and frustration then imagine how it would feel to have your very own love coach and wing woman holding your hand and guiding you through the dating journey. Imagine if you could learn tools and techniques to help you to manage dating fears and dating freak outs. Imagine if you could discover ways to actually enjoy dating and make it fun?

Well that is what you get with the ‘Wing Woman’ Dating Coaching programme with Vicki.

With Vicki by your side as your personal love coach and wing woman, you'll be guided and supported through your dating journey so that you come out the other side with a whole new approach and outlook to dating (so that you are actually enjoying it)

Head over here for all of the details!

With love,


X Vicki and Selina




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PODCAST - Brand new Get Ready for Love series! | EP: 1 ‘How can I relax and be myself on a first date?’

 
 

We are SO excited to share the first episode in our * brand new * Get Ready for Love podcast series which just dropped today over on the Project Love podcast (woohoo!).

The Get Ready for Love series is dedicated to helping you to navigate the world of modern dating and find the right partner for you. We’ll be answering your dating questions and covering juicy topics like ghosting, dealing with dating burnout and whether you can actually make online dating fun. We’ve designed bitesize 10-15 minute episodes that are packed full of practical guidance and ‘how to’s (that can be listened to during the daily commute or en route to a date!)

Today’s episode looks at how you can relax and be yourself on a first date and we can’t wait for you to listen to it! Do let us know what you think, we always love to hear from you. And if you have any dating related questions that you would like us to answer in future podcasts then hit REPLY to this email and let us know.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

And if you are on that dating journey and finding it to be a source of anxiety and frustration then we have a brand new coaching programme designed for you - Wing Woman, the 121 dating coaching programme with Vicki.

With Vicki by your side as your personal love coach and wing woman, you'll be guided and supported through your dating journey so that you come out the other side with a whole new approach and outlook to dating. You will emerge feeling empowered, supported and genuinely excited about what lies ahead!

So if you're ready for an approach to dating that actually works, then head over here and apply to join the programme (kicking off in March).

With love,
X Selina and Vicki




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Podcast | Heartbreak - how to handle it and how to help our friends through it

 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

This week's episode is one for everyone to listen to, whether you're going through heart break right now or not. 

Because heartbreak is an inevitable part of life, particularly when you put yourself out there in life and do things like follow your dreams and get into deep relationships with other beautifully complex human beings. And yet, while no-one gets through life without experiencing a painful heartbreak at least once (if not numerous times), when it does happen to us or the people we love, it seems that we are often at a total loss as how to deal with it.

So we decided it was time to dig deep into the topic, explore the science behind heartbreak and why it can be SO painful (yes, people CAN die from heartbreak!), share different women's tips on how to get through those early days of heartbreak, see if there is any way to avoid heartbreak in life, look at how heartbreak can often be turned into an opportunity for growth and making positive change in your life AND discuss how we can support our loved ones when they are going through painful heartbreak.

Told you it was a juicy one!

This was a truly heart-warming and touching episode to create, thanks to all of the women who shared their stories of heart break with us and of how they overcame some hugely heartbreaking moments in life. You are our heroes.

Thank you.

x Selina & Vicki

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Friendship: the love, the heartbreak and the hierarchy we need to get rid of!

 
 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

We have a fresh new episode for you today and we can’t wait for you to hear it and get involved in the conversation with us over on instagram. Because today we are looking at a topic that we have all had strong experiences in: friendship.

Our friendships have the capacity to give us every bit as much love, connection, pain, heartbreak, growth and belonging as our romantic relationships and when it comes to friendships between women, there is plenty of research that proves that close female friendships are essential to our happiness and health.

So in this episode we looked at the power of friendship, the pain that can come with friendship break ups, how to make new friends as an adult and how to deal with the ‘friends’ that you realise aren’t treating you right and, perhaps the juiciest of all, how to handle the relationship hierarchy that seems to be at play in our society that relegates friendships to bottom rung once partners and kids come along. It was one of the biggest topics that came up when we got this conversation started over on instagram and the Love Zone last week. And it’s time we challenged that hierarchy and brought an end to it. It’s no good for anyone!

So hit play above or over at Apple Podcast and then carry on the conversation with us over on instagram @loveprojectlove

Oooooor let us know what you think of this latest episode (or the podcast as a whole) over on Apple Podcast (a 5* review would make our day ;) ).

Lots of love,

Selina & Vicki

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PODCAST: Real Love Story with Natasha Lunn

 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

So excited for you to listen to this week’s real love story interview with the fabulous Natasha Lunn.  Tune in as Natasha talks to Vicki about dating apps and 12 hour first dates, speaking your truth, wholeheartedness and choosing to go ‘all in’ on love (starting with going ‘all in’ with dating). And much much more!

This podcast is packed full of wisdom as Natasha shares her love story with Dan and also the lessons learnt from interviewing people about finding love and making it last (check out ‘Conversations on Love’ - Natasha’s bimonthly email newsletter investigating love, one conversation at a time).

So grab a cup of tea, hit play and enjoy! You can also listen on iTunes and now - *drum roll please* - on Spotify!

Really hope you enjoy this episode.

Much love,

x Selina and Vicki

P.S If you’re feeling stuck in your love life and finding dating to be frustrating and exhausting then come and join 'Get Ready for Love’, our online course that has helped 500+ women to find love. 'Get Ready for Love’ contains the 30 essential lessons that we've found to be the most effective and powerful in getting you ready for love and on your way to a happy and healthy relationship. It’s like having a love coach in your pocket, with advice, tools and guidance that can be listened to during the daily commute or en route to a date! Find out more over here.

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PODCAST: Real Love Story with Caroline Atkinson

 

So excited to share this podcast with you - a real love story with a friend of mine, Caroline Atkinson, whose love story with Gus spans almost 10 years.

We talk about relationship challenges, the incredible lessons learnt from spending 6 years apart, the importance of taking responsibility for your own happiness and the absolute joy of brunching on your own.

I remember attending a talk with Alain de Botton and he made reference to the fact that novels and films (in particular, fairy tales and rom coms) often don't give us a correct map of love and 'leave us unprepared to deal adequately with the difficulties of being in a couple'. And so we grow up with slightly unrealistic notions of love and what it means to be in a relationship. Hearing Caroline share her story really helped me to understand this more deeply and how we can update our 'map of love' to be more in-line with the realities of relating in today's world. 

I was so inspired by Caroline's journey of self discovery and self love and how she and Gus were able to start a new chapter in their relationship and the strength and vulnerability that requires, on both parts. I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved recording it.

V xxx

 

 

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The power of mindset to change the course of your love life (by looking at online dating in a whole new way!)

ian-dooley-281846.jpg

When I help women who are really stuck in their love lives, the first place I begin is by looking at their mindset and how they feel about their love life and about dating. Because your mindset is THE biggest predictor of success in your life and plays a massive role in determining the health and happiness of your love life.

Research from Carol Dweck, who is the queen of this topic (after studying it for over 20 years) shows that there are two basic mindsets that shape our lives - a fixed mindset (“where success is based on innate ability”) and a growth mindset (“where success is based on hard work, learning and training”).

Dweck’s work shows how someone with a fixed mindset evaluates the world through the binary notions of ‘success/failure’, ‘winner/loser’ and being ‘accepted/rejected’, however someone with a growth mindset sees failure as a temporary setback because their priority is all about learning and growing. And they embrace challenges and learn from their mistakes, which makes them more resilient than someone with a fixed mindset.

When you enter a mindset, you enter a new world. In one world—the world of fixed traits—success is about proving you’re smart or talented. Validating yourself. In the other—the world of changing qualities—it’s about stretching yourself to learn something new. Developing yourself.
— Carol Dweck

So how does this relate to online dating?

Well someone with a fixed mindset would think that they’re not getting results from online dating because they’re just not cut out for it or that they’re unlucky in love. Or they might believe that finding love is down to fate and that ‘it will happen when it’s meant to happen’. Online dating feels hopeless and exhausting from this place, compounded by the fact that other people seem to find guys online no problem.

However, someone with a growth mindset would see online dating as a tool for self growth and an opportunity to get to know people you wouldn’t otherwise have met. Someone with a growth mindset would add the word ‘yet’ to challenges, so they might say “I haven’t met the right person… yet” (usually when well meaning family members ask them that age old question ‘why are you still single’?). They are hopeful about the future and they draw inspiration from the people who are really enjoying online dating and who have met their match online. Rather than feeling threatened by the success of others, they are encouraged by it, as it shows what’s possible for them. They are curious to learn from the success of others and how they work through challenges.

This is the difference between a woman who believes that it’s never going to happen for her when it comes to having a relationship and that all the good guys are gone (so wonders whether there’s any point in persisting with online dating) to the woman who believes that of course it will happen for her, she just hasn't met the right person YET. And it's not a matter of ‘IF’, it’s ‘when’ she's going to meet someone.

When I was coaching a client recently, she was telling me how she has a growth mindset about pretty much everything in her life, particularly in her career but when it comes to love and dating, she feels like she should just ‘know’ how to be really good at it and she puts so much pressure on herself to ‘find the one’. Every date that she goes on that doesn’t result in her finding this person feels like a waste of time and has her feeling like a failure in the love department. Carol Dweck speaks to this in her book Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential’:

In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail—or if you’re not the best—it’s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome. They’re tackling problems, charting new courses, working on important issues. Maybe they haven’t found the cure for cancer, but the search was deeply meaningful.
— Carol Dweck

You might think that this sounds very much like those quotes on Pinterest that encourage you to ‘focus on the journey and not the destination’ but Dweck’s work is grounded in rigorous research into the mind and the power that we have to change the course of our lives:

As you begin to understand the fixed and growth mindsets, you will see exactly how one thing leads to another—how a belief that your qualities are carved in stone leads to a host of thoughts and actions, and how a belief that your qualities can be cultivated leads to a host of different thoughts and actions, taking you down an entirely different road
— Carol Dweck

So taking inspiration from Dweck’s work, here are 5 ways that you can use the power of mindset to change the course of your love life, by looking at online dating in a whole new way:

1. Set yourself healthy intentions

Most of the online dating advice out there focuses on how to find a partner but that is a huge ask and puts so much pressure on those early interactions, not to mention the pressure it puts on you and your date. See online dating as a tool to meet like-minded people for a coffee, rather than a way to meet your future husband, which will help to take the pressure off those early interactions. And it means that the date is less likely to feel like a job interview and will be way more fun for you!

2. Get inspired

If you’re feeling disillusioned about online dating then time for a shot of inspiration to get you feeling optimistic again. Ask your friends if they know any couples who've met their partner online and go and speak to them and see what you can learn from them. And find examples of women who are really enjoying online dating (they are out there!) - let their optimism inspire you and get you excited about what’s possible for you.

3. Choose to see rejection as redirection

Dealing with rejection is one of the hardest parts of the online dating process because it brings up all of our fears and insecurities about not feeling good enough. Some people find rejection a lot harder to handle than others and it’s our ability to handle rejection that is key in developing resilience when it comes to online dating. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s a good thing (trust me) because it’s impossible to be all things to all people… not to mention exhausting. Rejection isn’t failure, it’s just feedback - maybe it’s feedback about the kind of person that you now know isn’t right for you or maybe there is an opportunity to learn and grow from the experience. Choose to see every rejection as re-directing you to something better.

4. See dating as an adventure to try new things

Clients tell me that they worry about ‘wasting time’ if the date doesn’t go anywhere after the first or second date. So why not see dating as an adventure to try new things? Make a list of places that you’d love to visit or activities that you’d love to try and start ticking things off the list, then if it doesn't go anywhere beyond the first date, you’ve still had fun in the process.

5. Recruit a dating wing woman

You may encounter a whole spectrum of emotions on your dating journey so ask a friend (someone who is positive and optimistic about online dating) to be your dating wing woman to support you and keep your spirits up when you need a boost.

Online dating gets a bad rep but if you think about it, never before have we been more supported and empowered in our love lives. You get to choose how to make online dating work for you (and not the other way around). So if you haven’t been enjoying online dating recently then try approaching it in a different way and see how that helps you to enjoy it more.

The power to change the course of your love life is in your hands and yours alone. And that is an incredibly liberating place to be.

V x

PS Let’s talk more - I would love to hear from you! Drop me an email on <hello[@]loveprojectlove.com> if any of this resonated or if you have any questions or comments. And let me know how you get on with the tips - I really hope they make a difference to you.

PPS If you’re reading this and feeling like you could really do with some help and support in your love life then check out ‘Get Ready for Love’, our 30 day online course that has helped 500+ women learn how to approach dating in a loving way and how to get ready for a healthy and happy relationship. As well as having Selina and me as your co-pilots on your 30 day journey, bringing you videos and audio tutorials bursting with energy and love, you would also have access to our private FB group full of like-minded women who support and celebrate each other to grow - it’s gorgeous. We look forward to welcoming you in there!

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How to create your own daily self-love rituals...no matter how busy you are

I’m writing this to you at 6.18am under a cosy blanket with a hot cup of tea. I love being the first one up, the flat totally silent.
It is pure, guilt-free, nowhere-else-I-need-to-be me time. There's no other time of day where I feel this sense of calm, peace and stillness. I've been practicing this morning ritual for the last few months. It’s my new personal ‘project love’.

And it’s much needed...towards the end of last year I was feeling burnt out and exhausted, struggling to find time for me, my calendar bulging with work commitments. Basically too much pink (in my colour coded google calendar, pink is work) and not enough green (wellbeing and me time) and so I decided that this year was about being more green and scheduling myself into my calendar. I realised that the mornings were the one time of day that I could claim as my own. And so now mornings have become sacred to me, giving me space to reflect, be still, take stock and check-in with myself. They set the tone for the day and I have become so fond of this time with me, like catching up with an old friend.

I start with a journalling exercise ‘morning pages’, a tool from the book ‘The Artist's Way’. The idea is that you write a stream of consciousness when you wake up (3 pages specifically), to ‘get to the other side’ (as Julia Cameron would say, author of the book). I’ve been writing about anything and everything that’s been percolating when I wake up. Sometimes it’s profound, other times it’s more like a pity party for one (which Julia encourages as any whinging and complaining needs to be processed so you can move on and get on with your day!).

I've been approaching the project like a builder, adding more layers as the ones before get stronger. A morning gratitude practice has been added in, writing down things I’m thankful for, including ways I am grateful and proud of myself. Some days are more challenging than others and some mornings I feel like I have nothing to say but persistence is key. Recently I’ve also been using guided meditations on Headspace and I've been dabbling with morning exercise but still resisting that one to be honest (working on it!). On the days that I have a little more time I've been indulging in a morning bubble bath and audiobook (currently listening to Caroline Myss’s Energy Anatomy and it is blowing my mind). It feels sort of rebellious, like I’ve been let in on a well kept secret.

Through this process, I've discovered that what I need the most is just to be heard. I am the speaker and the listener. And I’m feeling the effects of it already. I am complaining less out loud, I feel calmer, clearer, more connected to myself and connected to what's important to me. I feel more control of my day and better able to deal with challenges when they arise. And I feel more engaged with life.

What it all comes down to is treating myself like a good friend, with love, kindness, respect and devotion. Spending quality time with me. This sacred time has become like oxygen to me. I need it. I crave it. The main thing I've learnt is how to trust myself. I have a sort of quiet confidence that no matter what happens during the day, I can handle it. Feeling like “I've got this”.

That is the power of having a daily self-love practice.

And it doesn’t matter how busy you are, even with just 2 minutes a day, you can create a self-love ritual for yourself. And you really will feel the difference.

So if you want to learn how to design your own self-love practice, no matter how busy you are, then come and join us at our next Online Project Love Salon event  ‘Self-love for busy women’ on 22nd May at 1pm UK time.

We'll be digging deep into the topic of practicing self love even when you have a jam packed schedule. You'll learn how to design your own self-love toolkit based around your lifestyle and we'll be sharing with you what our own personal self-love practices are and how we work them into our own busy lives.

And as a special summer treat, it’s totally free!

>>> To register for a free ticket to the event and receive the recording from us afterwards SIGN UP OVER HERE



Plus we’ll be announcing an exciting new Project Love membership programme that we've been experimenting with for the last 3 months (with great results for us and the women that have been doing it with us!) and now we're ready to open the doors to you too!

V x
 

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Why we want to get everyone into sister circles in 2017...including you

image by  Rebecca Westcott

If there is one thing we would love to see happen in 2017, it would be for all women to get into sister circles.

We mean it. We’ve been enjoying sister circles a lot over the past year and getting our friends involved in them too, even the ones that didn’t think they’d be into something called a ‘sister circle’. And without exception, every woman has found it to be a profound and often life-changing experience.

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And before you go thinking that sister circles don’t sound like your kind of thing, think again.

Sister circles are designed to suit ALL kinds of women.

Our own circles have included bankers, creative directors, business women, singers, scientists, film directors, entrepreneurs, doctors...they couldn’t be a more eclectic bunch of women.

And yet they have all had similar experiences in the sister circles: the experience of being heard, being seen, being held by other women in a way that has them connect deeply, not only with one another, but with themselves. That kind of support and nourishment can be truly life changing. And we’re not the only ones that think so...

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A recent Harvard study revealed that women with strong female friendships were significantly happier and healthier than those without. A cancer study in 2012 revealed that women with breast cancer that had a strong supportive circle of friends were four times more likely to make a full recovery than those who didn’t. And study after study has found that strong and nourishing friendships reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. Our female friendships literally have the power to help us heal.

More than that, they have the power to help us achieve our dreams and remember who we really are.

And that is why we want to get everyone into sister circles.

So we have created the ‘Project Love Guide to Running a Sister Circle’ to make it really easy for you.

>>> Download it here for free

Now all you need to do is invite a few women that you really admire and the guide will do the rest.

Come and let us know how you get on!

x Selina & Vicki

 
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