inspiration

PODCAST | 'Going beneath the surface - an interview with Kirsty Hanly'

It's a wet, snuggle-at-home day here in London, so for those of you that are enjoying the same drizzly weather (and even if you're not!) we have a really juicy podcast for you to snuggle in and listen to...

'Going beneath the surface - an interview with Kirsty Hanly'

Join Selina as she dives deep into conversation with Kirsty Hanly -  coach, writer, TED Talk Speaker and Cognitive Hypnotherapy Master Practitioner.

Kirsty's passion is in helping people to live more connected and fulfilling lives, discover their true potential and to step into their dreams, by helping them move through the unconscious patterns that are holding them back in life.

She is the queen of getting under the surface of things, stripping back the layers to reveal what lies beneath.

Listen in as she and Selina get deep into conversation about what it takes to really get beneath the surface and open up to what we really want in life, how to find balance with our inner masculine and feminine energies and how orgasmic meditation can help you to really experience life in depth aaaaaand helps you to achieve mind-blowing orgasms. Hello.

So if you want to get in on all of THAT juicy conversation then listen in over on our blog. You can also listen and subscribe to our podcasts over on itunes (leave a review on there for us and you’ll make our day!)

To find out more about Kirsty and how to work with her, head over to http://inspiringlivescoaching.com/about-kirsty/

The 6 month group journey she is running with Yaron Engler on relationship, intimacy and love - Me You Us - starts this November - find out more over here: http://me-you-us.co.uk/

In next week's podcast...it's a special one not to be missed!

Next week we'll be getting deep into one of our all time favourite topics: 'why we all need to learn to dream again'

The importance and power of dreaming has been a big topic coming up with our coaching clients this year and in all the years that we've been coaching people we've found that one of the biggest blockers to people living lives they love is that they don't allow themselves to dream.

Dreaming is an essential tool when it comes to designing a life you love and NOT allowing ourselves to do it is having a far bigger impact on our lives than most people realise.

So check your inbox next week for a podcast ALL about it.

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PODCAST | How burn out and anxiety lead Kim Murray to find her purpose in life…benefitting us all!

 

Hi there, it’s Selina here, with a fresh new podcast to kick off your week! 

I invited Kim Murray, founder of Happy Heads, into the Project Love studio so that she could share her beautiful story of transformation, that began with burn out and panic attacks brought on by a highly stressful period at work and had her going on a journey that not only brought her health back and left her feeling happier than ever before, but it also lead to her changing career and starting Happy Heads where she now teaches adults and children simple mindful tools to help them live happier, calmer and stress-free lives.

And people have been raving about her work - from helping children who have suffered bereavement, to stressed-out adults, to her new urban retreats in London.

So as well as hearing her story, we spent time talking about why, in a digital age, we all have to learn to be proactive about keeping our minds healthy and how we can do that. Kim shares some wonderfully simple but effective tips and tools on how to practice mindfulness and weave little moments of meditation into your day to day, particularly if (like me) you know you should meditate, but you just don’t seem to get round to doing it. 

Her tools and guidance on mental fitness in a digital age honestly have been a real game changer for me.

So I cannot wait for you to listen to Kim’s inspiring story and to hear her tips on how to keep mentally fit, happy and healthy, in a digital age.

Click the orange play button at the top of the page or head over to itunes and listen to it there.

I hope this gives a lovely uplifting start to your week!

And Kim's next one day Happy Heads urban retreat is on Saturday 14th October, spaces are limited so email kim@happyheads.me if you're interested and she’ll give you information on how to book.

Lots of love,

x Selina

P.S. If you enjoyed this podcast or any of our podcasts then come and subscribe over on itunes so that we can deliver each new podcast direct to your device and it would make our day if you would leave a review ('I love these podcasts' will do!) and rating - each one makes a big difference.

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PODCAST | an interview with one of the biggest Love Ambassadors we have ever met

Vicki and I have been talking a lot recently about what it is to be an Ambassador of Love in life - to proactively spread love out in the world through action - the work that you do, through charity and through random acts of kindness and love.

And so we were SO excited to meet Gayle Berry when she joined Project Love 365 (our membership programme to support you designing a life you love).

Gayle is THE biggest Ambassador of Love I think I have ever met. From the work that she does, to the charity she helps to run to the #mamakindness campaign she ran recently.

Gayle is a Queen of LOVE.

She stands SO firmly in love and just hearing her talk about her work, her relationship, her family and the way she approaches life is truly inspiring.

So if you have ever wanted to do work you love, make a difference in the world, have a loving and happy relationship or help to spread more love out into the world, then tune in and be inspired...

x Selina

 

Find out more and follow Gayle…

Her baby massage business: www.blossomandberry.com

Love Support Unite - the charity: www.lovesupportunite.org

This is a GORGEOUS and inspiring video about what they do: https://vimeo.com/114916198 (watch this space for a podcast interview with the women that started it!)

Get your hands on the love specs here: www.lovespecs.org

And check out Gayle’s #lovecreateslove campaign: https://www.blossomandberry.com/benefits/love-creates-love-campaign/

And to listen to the podcast I mention on Goddess Archetypes, head over here

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Why we want to get everyone into sister circles in 2017...including you

image by  Rebecca Westcott

If there is one thing we would love to see happen in 2017, it would be for all women to get into sister circles.

We mean it. We’ve been enjoying sister circles a lot over the past year and getting our friends involved in them too, even the ones that didn’t think they’d be into something called a ‘sister circle’. And without exception, every woman has found it to be a profound and often life-changing experience.

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And before you go thinking that sister circles don’t sound like your kind of thing, think again.

Sister circles are designed to suit ALL kinds of women.

Our own circles have included bankers, creative directors, business women, singers, scientists, film directors, entrepreneurs, doctors...they couldn’t be a more eclectic bunch of women.

And yet they have all had similar experiences in the sister circles: the experience of being heard, being seen, being held by other women in a way that has them connect deeply, not only with one another, but with themselves. That kind of support and nourishment can be truly life changing. And we’re not the only ones that think so...

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A recent Harvard study revealed that women with strong female friendships were significantly happier and healthier than those without. A cancer study in 2012 revealed that women with breast cancer that had a strong supportive circle of friends were four times more likely to make a full recovery than those who didn’t. And study after study has found that strong and nourishing friendships reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. Our female friendships literally have the power to help us heal.

More than that, they have the power to help us achieve our dreams and remember who we really are.

And that is why we want to get everyone into sister circles.

So we have created the ‘Project Love Guide to Running a Sister Circle’ to make it really easy for you.

>>> Download it here for free

Now all you need to do is invite a few women that you really admire and the guide will do the rest.

Come and let us know how you get on!

x Selina & Vicki

 
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A lesson in goddess archetypes and what they can teach us about ourselves

 

Ooh we’ve got a great podcast for you this week!

We invited the gorgeous Helen Johnson, founder of Goddess Acumen, to talk to us about the fascinating topic of Goddess Archetypes and what they can teach us about the way we live and love.

Every time I hear Helen talk on this topic I walk away with profound new insights into myself and the world around us. And this podcast was no exception.

We explored how the goddess Aphrodite (goddess of love and sexuality) and goddess Demeter (goddess of motherhood) are in crisis in our society and the HUGE impact that has on us as women and how the Archetypes can be used as a practical tool and guide to help us bring those aspects of ourselves back into full power.

The way Helen illuminates the world we live in through the goddess archetypes is fascinating. I dare you to have a listen and NOT take something valuable for yourself from it!

Have a listen and let us know what you think.

AND if you are in or near London on 21st November then come and join us for our next Project Love Salon with Helen ‘The Goddess Within: how to use goddess archetypes as a practical tool in life and love'.

Grab your early bird tickets here and we’ll see you there!

x Selina and Vicki

 

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Getting the guidance you need from your wise, older self

 
 

Three years ago I wrote this letter I'm holding above, to myself.

I imagined it was a letter being written to me from my wise, older self. Over the years I've done this from time to time when I am starting new chapters in my life, when I am at a cross-roads and need some guidance or when I am struggling and need the reassurance that everything will be alright in the end.

And so I image myself many years from now - at peace, full of love and wisdom and with the wonderful benefit of hindsight - and I imagine what guidance and messages of love and support that older, wiser version of me would offer to the person I am today.

A few weeks ago I found this letter that I had written and posted to myself on the 28th October - two days after my birthday - 3 years ago.

I was fully dedicated at that time to learning to love myself and on the path that would later inspire our 'Get Ready for Love' course, but I still had my moments of despair and frustration - after so many years of disappointments and never finding anyone that was right for me, was it ever going to happen?

I needed some wise guidance and reassurance and so I picked up a pen, channeled that wise, older self and let her send me her words of guidance and wisdom.

Reading back on that letter 3 years later, with my partner and little boy lying on the bed next to me, I'm struck at how true those wise words were.

And so here is the letter I wrote to myself. If you are single and wondering why it hasn't happened to you yet, let these words calm and reassure you in the way they once did me…

Dearest Selina,

The moment you realise that your life and your happiness do not depend on finding a partner and having a family, you will be set free.

So that when you do meet a man you'd love to spend the rest of your life with, you won't demand your happiness and blame your sadness and loneliness on the relationship. You won't expect your children to fulfill your life in a way you never could. Instead you will love him, your relationship and your children for who they are. You will allow for them to grow and evolve and change and not fear that in doing so you will be left alone and unhappy.

These years of longing for a partner have been hard, I know. I do understand. You thrive in partnership and to not have it in your life has not been easy, but you will one day be so incredibly thankful that you had the strength to not settle.

So that you could learn lessons that have made you into the person you are. Deep down you chose it, so that you had the space to know yourself first before becoming a partner and creating a family.

But don't fear, it WILL happen and will be richer for the time you spent with yourself being your own partner in life.

Focus on love in abundance in all areas of life and enjoy seeing what grows.

x Selina

At the time this letter gave me such a sense of calm, reminding me that I was in fact exactly where I needed to be. That this was all part of the plan. That this time alone was in fact something I would one day be eternally grateful for.

How wise that older self was. Today I really do look back on that time with deep gratitude, because I see now that it was in those single years that I became the person I am today. In being single for all those years I discovered a strength in me that I didn’t know I had, I got to experience a wonderful freedom that no woman in my family had ever experienced before and my wings got to spread out wide as I flew all over the world. I got to discover the sweetness of solitude and even the transformative power of heartbreak. Each time I thought my heart was breaking, it was in fact a piece of my ego falling away and a piece of my heart being returned to me until finally I stood strong and whole as the queen of my own kingdom.

THAT is what I was doing in the time I was single. And my wiser self knew that, even then.

I appreciated too how she  understood my longing for partnership and love with another and understood that it wasn’t easy to have such a strong longing and not know when or if it would ever happen. Because longing is a hard one. It’s so heavy and can cling to your heart even in the happiest of times.

But do you know what, I believe it is because of all those years of longing that I am so grateful on a daily basis for the relationship I enjoy today.

But what I love most of all about this letter is that it reminds me that when we choose to, we really can tap into a part of ourselves that is connected deeply with life and that always has love, wisdom and guidance to offer. We just have to learn how to make space for her to be heard.

So why not give it a go yourself this week? Imagine a wise, old version of you is reaching back to the person you are today, she looks upon you with so much love and has so much wisdom and guidance to offer you. Let her write a letter to you and just see what she has to say.

X Selina

 

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30 books that could change the way you love and live

Most people have got at least one book that they can name that has had a profound impact on their life. That has inspired them to follow their dreams, make positive changes, approach their relationships in new positive ways or helped them to heal.

So we decided to ask our friends on FB and in the Love Tribe to tell us which books have really inspired them so that we could put together a list of books that can help to inspire you.

And here they are...
 

30 books that could change the way you live and love

  1. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
  2. How to be a Free Range Human by Marianne Cantwell
  3. Wild by Cheryl Strayed
  4. What I know for sure by Oprah Winfrey
  5. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
  6. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
  7. Rising Strong by Brene Brown
  8. Zen and the Art of Falling in Love by Brenda Shoshanna
  9. Five regrets of the dying by Bronnie Ware
  10. Money, a Love Story by Kate Northrup
  11. The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
  12. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware
  13. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
  14. Steering by Starlight by Martha Beck
  15. Women that Run with Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
  16. The Dance of Anger by Harriet G Lerner
  17. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
  18. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford
  19. The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck
  20. Linchipin by Seth Godin
  21. Happiness by Design by Paul Dola
  22. The 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman
  23. Thrive by Arianna Huffington
  24. Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
  25. Essentialism by Greg McKeown
  26. Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child by Thich Nhat Hanh
  27. The Art of Extreme Self-care by Cheryl Richardson
  28. How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran
  29. The Examined Life by Stephen Grosz
  30. Vagina by Naomi Wolf

So take your pick and let us know which of these books have inspired you (or any others you think we should add here).

x Selina & Vicki

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PODCAST SHOW! Letters to our younger selves (in celebration of International Women's Day)

 

Today's podcast show is inspired by Women's Day and takes a look at the power of writing letters to your younger self. We take some inspiring examples of letters written by formidable women to their younger selves from the beautiful book 'What I Know Now', we have a go at writing messages to our own younger selves and invite you to do the same. It's powerful stuff!

Have a listen in and let us know below what message you would write to your younger self...

x Selina & Vicki

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If you read just ONE book on love, make it this one

This book was given to me by a friend as we lay on a beach in Goa, while I was single and Project Love was in its infancy.


That same copy is now sitting by me as I write. It's now dog-eared with half of the corners turned down, paragraphs underlined throughout and notes in every margin.

It had a profound effect on me.

And since reading it I've recommended it to almost everyone I know.

And now I'm recommending it to you.

The book?

Zen and the Art of Falling in Love by Brenda Shoshana

So what makes this book so special?

Well for me it totally transformed my whole understanding and approach to love.

It offers a deep wisdom about love and the nature of it that I believe we all instinctively know, but have forgotten.

It showed me that I had been doing it all wrong: I had been looking for love on the outside to fill me, when what I actually had to do was to open up to the love that already existed within me, so that it filled me up with love and flowed outwards to connect me with other loving people. It was about opening up to love, not finding it.

It introduced me to so many subtle, gentle and profound new ways of looking at love that's it hard to really summarise it, but what I can say is that it shifted me into a whole new space when it came to love and I've remained there ever since. That is the power of the book.

Throughout the book Brenda Shoshana, a psychologist, relationship expert and Zen practitioner, draws on the principles of Zen practice in a way that offers new insights to love, relationships and communication. You don't have to know anything about Zen practice and she's not telling you to go on a silent retreat to change your love life (although by the sounds of it it does seem to help!). What it does is offers a totally fresh way of looking at love and relationships, grounded in the lessons of a wise and ancient practice, that sets you free from the limited and fear-led way we're brought up to approach love and relationships in modern society.

It's no exaggeration to say that this book set me free. And I have seen it do the same for numerous other people that I've recommended it to.

Here's a little quote from it to leave you with, but what I recommend is that you just order it right now and get stuck in. And if you've read the book, or once you have read it, please come back here and let us know what you think by leaving your comments below!

"Now with a little patience it's only a matter of time before the person who knows how to love starts emerging from within. This person knows how to discover the 'right relationship' and how to thrive in it completely. Isn't it time you let her free?"

x Selina


 

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An alternative Valentine's Day - the Project Love way

Valentine's Day.  It's a bit like Marmite - you either love it or you hate it. If you're in a relationship, it can be a wonderful time to spoil the one you love or it can feel a little cheesy / OTT to celebrate it. And if you're single and wishing you weren't, it can be a painful reminder of the big relationship-shaped hole in your life and the whole day is spent trying to pretend like it's not happening.

So to be honest, over at Project Love we're not actually big fans of the traditional Valentine's Day.

We do it a little differently...

For us it's THE DAY OF LOVE: A day to celebrate love in all its forms.

In the English language, there is only one word to describe love, but the Greeks had 7 different words for love: romantic love and erotic love (eros), love for family (storge), deep friendship (philia), playful affectionate love (ludus), love for everyone (agape), long-standing love (pragma) and love for self (philautia).

So this Valentine’s Day we want to invite you to join us in ditching the usual focus on romantic love and instead celebrate all forms of love.

Above all, self-love.

Do something this Saturday for you - treat yourself with love.

Buy yourself flowers, take yourself out for brunch at your favourite cafe, buy yourself a little gift, treat yourself to a massage, take yourself off to an art gallery or snuggle in and have a date in with yourself and your favourite film.

Last year Selina, who was single at the time, really embraced this new approach to Valentine's Day. She sent me this message with a photo of a Mexican heart necklace that she bought for herself:

"I am totally living in love today, taking actions from the heart - wait till you see the Valentine’s day gift I got myself AND I booked in a massage for next week. Just waiting for a delicious toasted cake in Brixton market!"

So join us and make Valentine's Day YOUR DAY OF LOVE too and let us know what you get up to by leaving a comment below, share photos with us on Instagram or tweet us!

x Vicki and Selina

P.S. if you haven’t watched it already check out the video interview which Selina did with the fabulous Addictive Daughter on '3 steps to transform your love life’ - she tells the story of her Valentine’s Day ‘Day of Love’ last year and what all that self-loving led to…..!

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10 alternative ways of looking at rejection

Rejection.jpeg

No-one likes rejection. Whether it's not landing your dream job, your dream house falling through or not hearing back from that guy you fancy, it feels pretty shitty when someone tells us "no".

When we experience something that makes us feel bad, our lizard brain (the most primitive part) will make a mental note for us to avoid stuff like this in the future. Because it wants to keep us safe. It wants to protect us from the hurt we feel when we don't get asked out on that second date or the slap in the face when the guy you've been seeing just mysteriously goes off radar and you never hear from him again. Nice.

But is this fear of rejection holding you back? Do you sulk for ages before getting back out there? Or vow never to text back first next time? Or tell yourself to never ever be the one to ask him out on a second date next time - "wait for him to come to you"?

We can wrap ourselves up nice and cosy in cotton wool but there’s no getting around the fact that rejection is inevitable. It's happened to us before and it will happen to us again. No matter how hard we try and avoid it, we can't control it. Grrrreeeeat I hear you say…

But wait… what we can control is our relationship with it. Because it's not the rejection itself that's the problem, it's how we choose to perceive it.

It all starts with our mindset...

Our mindset affects our behaviour and our behaviour determines our outcomes.

So by thinking differently about rejection, we can actually change the course of our lives.

That's why we've pulled together our top 10 alternative ways of looking at rejection.

So the next time you get rejected. And it's not IF it happens it's WHEN it happens, try one of these on for size and see how it makes you feel...

1.  Rejection is redirection
2. Rejection is feedback
3. Every rejection is a stepping stone towards my ideal outcome
4. Rejection is setting me free
5. Rejection is my hearts way of saying no
6. Rejection is my future self thanking me for creating the space for my future to show up
7. Rejection is a part of life
8. Rejection is an invitation to something better
9. Rejection is honesty
10. Rejection is necessary

Tweet your favourite from this list and - as a bonus exercise - ask someone you love if they've ever been thankful of the rejections they've had? We'd love to hear your stories - share them with us on Facebook / Twitter

V x

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