life design

Time to hit pause and reflect! How have the first 3 months of 2019 been for YOU?

 
 

We feel like a broken record saying this every year, but...how is it almost April already!?

Are you feeling that too?

It can be so easy for time to fly by and to get sucked into that never-ending to-do list until, before you know it, another year has passed by and those plans and intentions you made at the start of the year have all but been forgotten.

WELL NOT THIS YEAR.

We have made a commitment to organise a collective ‘HIT PAUSE’ every quarter, so we can each check-in with ourselves, review how the last 3 months have gone, how our commitments have come along and create fresh new commitments for the next three months that will help us each keep creating lives and relationships that we love, that make us feel good and make us proud.

And so on today’s Project Love podcast we are inviting you to join us for the first quarterly check-in of 2019!

Grab your Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journal, if you have one (you can still get your own copy over at thegoodbyehellojournal.com - while stocks last!) and join us as we reflect on the past 3 months, share the lessons that we’ve learnt in that time and create fresh new commitments for the next 3 months that help us realign ourselves with our intentions for the year and the life we dream of living.

And if you made commitments at the start of the year that you haven’t stuck to, then YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are always lessons to be found in the commitments that actually dropped off the list (which we talk all about in the podcast!)

>>> 🎧 Listen to the podcast now over on Apple Podcast (iTunes) or Spotify

And then join us over on Instagram to let us know what was the biggest lesson you learned from doing your own quarterly review!

X Selina & Vicki



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PODCAST | How to handle New Year overwhelm

 
 

Hands up if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed since the new year has kicked off?

Well if you have, then you’re not alone. In fact we received SO many messages last week from people saying that they had been feeling overwhelmed since stepping into the new year that we decided to dedicate a whole podcast episode to it this week. And wow, once we opened up this topic there was soooo much to say.

We dug into what can cause overwhelm at the start of the new year (and there are a whole host of different triggers), why overwhelm is natural at the start of any new journey or project and why and we shared lots of tips and suggestions on what to do if and when overwhelm gets the better of you.

And by the way, the two of us aren’t immune to New Year overwhelm. We always expect it to happen and this year it was particularly strong for both of us as we both chose intentions for the year that triggered our Shitty Committees big time! We share all about that too :)

So have a listen and let us know what you think.

And if you'd like to buy the the 'Design a Life You Love in 2019' TWO HOUR video workshop to help you really kick 2019 off on the right foot then head over to thegoodbyehellojournal.com/shop to buy and watch it right away.

Lots of love, 

Vicki and Selina

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

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Podcast: Why aren’t we all easily designing and living lives we love?

 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

We are so excited with all that is happening at Project Love at the moment! We are loving seeing pics sent in of our Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019 journals arriving at your homes and being spotted at Oliver Bonas stores all over the country (keep those pics coming - they make our day!) and this coming week you'll be able to hear our 5 part podcast series 'How to Design a Life You Love' over on the Pool podcast 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

Now in the meantime, all this talk of life designing has got us asking one big important question: why aren't we all easily designing lives we love?

With so many of us lucky enough to have somewhere to live, food on the table and a whoooole lot of freedom when it comes to choosing what we do with our lives, who we spend it with and how we live it, why aren’t we all choosing to fill our lives with the things we love all the time?

Well in today’s Project Love podcast episode this is what we explore. And wow, what a juicy topic it is. When you start unpacking it there are sooo many layers to it. And it’s also a topic that seems important for us all to explore.

So join us as we unpack this BIG question and take a look at:

  • What we even mean by ‘designing a life that you love’ - what it IS and what it ISN’T

  • The reasons people often give for not being able to design the life they really want to live

  • And what we have found to be the actual blockers to people following their dreams and designing lives they love

And if you haven't ordered your copy of the‘Goodbye 2018, Hello 2019’ journal then head on over to thegoodbyehellojournal.com

And save your seat to the online workshop ‘Design a Life You Love in 2019’. The two together make a great combo. And a perfect Xmas gift 😉

X Selina & Vicki

 
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Your calendar is your canvas

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As many of you are spending this month dreaming and planning for the year ahead we wanted to share with you a tool that is a must-have when it comes to life designing.

Because while the dreaming and planning part can all be very exciting, there isn’t much point to it if they remain forgotten in a notebook.

What you need is the real-life version of a magic wand that will help to bring those dreams and desires to life.

Welcome to the ultimate life design tool:

A calendar.

When it comes to designing and living a life you love, your calendar is your canvas.

Plenty of us use calendars in our day to day lives to keep on top of things at work and do what needs to be done. But the magic happens when you start to use it to create your life, by taking your list of things you want to fill your life with - from time with friends, to more sleep, to a monthly massage, to changing career -  and giving each of those things dedicated time and dates in your diary.

Suddenly your dreams and desires are now booked and ready to happen.

Here is how to do it.

If you did our Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 guide you will now have a beautiful book full of things you want to fill your 2018 with, so let’s get that list out.

If you didn’t do it then take a page and write down the activities, people, places, projects that you would like to fill your life with in 2018.

Include on your list any activities and practices you know you need on a daily or weekly basis to feel well, energised and calm in your body eg. proper breakfast to start the day, exercise twice a week, 8 hours sleep a night, a massage once a month.

Now get out your calendar (paper or digital, that’s up to you) and let’s start booking these things into your life and designing your day, your week, your month, your year, so that you are filling it with the things, people and places you love.

Daily commitments

Always begin with your wellbeing. It is THE foundation to a happy life. So start by looking at your daily calendar and book in the things you know you need to feel well and happy in your body, but that you often let slip.

So, for example, if starting the day with a nourishing breakfast is an important one for you, but something you usually forget to do, then get that in your diary as a daily date with yourself, setting your alarm to get you up 15 minutes earlier if necessary.

Eventually those nourishing breakfasts in the morning will become a natural part of your normal routine and you won’t have to schedule them, but until that happens, keep them as firm dates in your calendar.

Weekly commitments

Now let’s look at what you want to book in on a regular weekly basis as a fixed commitment - things you want to do for your wellbeing and happiness eg. time for exercise, dates with yourself, hobbies etc

Decide when in the week you want to commit to doing these things and book them in.

Also book in time each week dedicated to focus on any big changes or dreams you’re wanting to make happen in 2018. By creating dedicated time to focus on them, those changes and dreams are far more likely to happen.

Monthly commitments

Next schedule in the things you want to do monthly -  eg a massage, trip to the countryside, dinner for friends etc. If you need time to research, invite friends, make bookings in advance for these things to happen, then make sure you book in time for that too.

One-off yearly commitments

Finally, take a step back and look at your whole year ahead and block in time for the fun adventures, holidays, courses and outings you want to enjoy throughout the year, even if for now you can only pencil them in because you’re not yet sure on the exact dates.

Again, if any of these require a good amount of planning and research, then block out time to do that too.

And there you have it. A calendar that now has all your ingredients for a happy life firmly woven into it.

Now all you have to do is stick to those commitments. But that is for another blog post ;)

For now, enjoy painting that canvas of yours with the things you love and let us know how you get on.

X Selina & Vicki

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Tip #1 of our 5 TOP TIPS to help you as you design your 2018

We’re getting our excitement on over at Project Love HQ with just FIVE DAYS TO GO until ‘Design a Life You Love in 2018’ kicks off - our 4 week online course that has you creating a beautiful vision for your 2018 and a practical plan of how you’re going to bring that vision to life (find out ALL about it and sign yourself up over here). 

To celebrate, Selina has whipped up 5 top tips to Designing a Life you Love - here is your first one for today. 

You can catch the rest over on YouTube

And if you’ve been thinking about signing up to the course, but haven’t yet, then why not make it your treat to yourself for today and sign up!

And we’ll see you on Monday when the party gets started! 

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PODCAST with Naomi Mdudu | How to bring about BIG change in your life & grow a business in which you flourish

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This week’s podcast is SUCH an energiser!

Selina invited Naomi Mdudu, founder of The Lifestyle Edit, onto this week's Project Love podcast show to share her amazing story of how she brought about BIG change in almost every area of her life after her 'dream job' as a fashion editor & an unhealthy relationship left her burnt out and miserable. She went on to start her own business, transform her love life and moved from London to New York all within about a year!

Since then she has been interviewing and working with hundreds of inspiring female entrepreneurs all over the world and has soooo much to share and so much guidance to offer when it comes to starting and growing a successful business.

Naomi is so inspiring, wise and beautifully vulnerable in the way she talks about her journey and her experiences and she is a natural talent when it comes to guiding others in growing a successful business in which they can flourish.

So if you are feeling ready to make a BIG change in life, if you run your own biz, if you’re in a relationship that just isn’t working, if you’re exhausted and you know something needs to change but you don’t know what, frankly if you have a beating heart, then this podcast is for you.

Listen in below or subscribe to all of our podcasts over on iTunes!

 

And if you fall in love with Naomi as much as we did and want more from her then head on over and sign up to her newsletter and check out her podcast over on The Lifestyle Edit.

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The power of setting intentions - another key tool in your life design toolkit

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In our last podcast ‘Why we all have to learn to dream again’ we talked about the power of allowing yourself to dream and taking those dreams seriously as a key tool in both designing a life you love and in bringing about the changes you want to see in the world.

In today’s podcast we talk about the power of setting intentions as another key tool in your life design and change-making toolkit.

From seven years of watching people go through our ‘Goodbye, Hello’ process, we have found this to be one of the single most powerful parts of the process. And what is interesting is to see the different ways these intentions can be used - either as a way to stay focused throughout the year on what is most important to you OR as a bit of a magic spell - casting out the intention into your year without having any idea exactly how it will manifest, but finding that the intention works as a magic seed with a life of it’s own that grows in all sorts of different (and often very unexpected) ways.

Come and join us for a half hour deep dive into the topic and if you’ve never tried it before, have a go at doing it yourself this month and see what it does for you.

 

Aaaand we are just a few more backers away from hitting 70% of our Kickstarter goal and at this rate we should hit the full target by next week! So if you haven’t ordered your copy of ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ but have been planning to, then please do it today to help us towards that funding goal!

xx Selina & Vicki

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Your ‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’ ritual...how will YOU do it?

Wow what a week it has been! Five days ago we launched a Kickstarter campaign for our 'Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018'  book and audio guide and we have reached 35% of our funding already! Eeeeeek.

So get ready to have this baby in your hands by the time we all step into the new year!

And if you missed all the excitement last week then hurry on over to Kickstarter to check out what all the fuss is about and order copies for you and your friends!

Here we are getting pretty excited about it at our launch party last week!

Now the only question that remains is how will you DO it? What will your 'Goodbye, Hello' ritual be?

Will you take yourself off for a date with yourself to do it? Will you do it with your partner and use it to step into the new year with a united vision? Will you do it with a group of friends so that you can all support one another in making your dreams come true throughout 2018?

Over the years we have loved hearing all the different ways people have turned ‘Goodbye, Hello’ into their own unique New Year tradition.

Here are some of our favourite ways of doing it that you can choose from. And if you have a way of doing it that you’d like to share with us, then hit reply and let us know what it is!
 

 
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Take yourself on a date to do it

Take yourself off for the day, treat yourself to a brunch or lunch in your favourite cafe, snuggle in for a couple of hours and really spend time with yourself, reflecting on your life, the year you’ve just had and what you want out of the year that lies ahead.

"It has become my constant end-of-the-year ritual for the past 4 years! I always block some special me-time to do it"
- Nicole

“I went to yoga to clear my mind then settled into my favourite coffee shop for what turned out to be about four hours doing my 'Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017'”
- Paula

Do it with a group of friends

Arrange a lunch or dinner where you all get together with your copy of Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 and you spend the evening first writing your answers and then sharing your answers. It can be so powerful to have your dreams heard. These people will end up being your support team to help make those new dreams happen in 2018.

“I organised to do it last year with a group of friends and we can’t wait to do it again this year. There is something very special to hear your friends talk about their dreams and intentions for the year that lies ahead. I feel that we have been able to support one another in making our dreams come true so much more this year”.
- Lucy
 

Do it with a loved one (partner, sibling, best friend)

Arrange a cosy evening in or plan a lovely day out somewhere where you and your loved one can spend time filling in your own copy of Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 and then spend time sharing with one another the answers in your book and the dreams you are committing to in 2018. We know of a number of couples who now do this as a new year tradition so that they step into the new year supporting one another’s dreams.

“It's become an annual ritual for my partner and I - we've done both years. It's a really good structured way of reflecting on the year that’s passed and getting clear on goals for the year ahead”
- Marigold

We can't wait to see how you will do your 'Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018' this year! 

Love, Selina and Vicki xxx

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'Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018' IS HERE!!!!!!!

Yippeeee! It's here, it's finally here!!
We could not be more excited to announce that...
 

‘Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018’

Your guide to thriving in 2018 - is now live on Kickstarter!

* Available for a limited time only *
 

This month we have been all about dreaming big and turning Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 into a book really is a dream come true! 

For those of you that haven't done it before, Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 is an end-of-year guide that helps you to do two things:

  • To say a proper Goodbye to your year as it comes to an end, reflecting on all that you’ve done, all that you’ve learnt and all that you’re grateful for. The lessons, the love, the achievements, the people and the moments that marked this year and made it unique.
  • And to say Hello to a brand new one with a clear focus and intention for the year ahead, with simple, tangible actions that help bring it to life. Looking at what activities, people, places you want to fill your life with in this coming year, what dreams you want to bring to life, what you want to learn and what you want to make happen in 2018.
Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 book

 

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 then becomes your guide to help you navigate your way through the new year making sure you stay focused on the things that are most important to you. 

And for the first time ever we have created a brand new Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 audio to help you go even deeper into the process so that you have two coaches by your side to help you really get clear on what you want your 2018 to be all about. 

We love the idea of Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018, becoming the new ‘New Year's’ tradition for as many people as possible this year. And this is where we need your help!

* Come on over and take a look at it on Kickstarter, watch the video and take a close-up look at the beautiful design by Ruth Ridgeway,
* Order yourself a copy (or 4 - they make perfect Xmas gifts and we do a lovely discount when you buy for you and your friends). 
* Spread the word to your friends, work colleagues, family members, loved ones by sharing the Kickstarter link: http://bit.ly/goodbye2017hello2018

If we reach our funding goal by 26th November then Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 goes to print and we’ll all have it in our hands by the Christmas holidays. Woohoo!

Thank you so much in advance for your continued support and love.
Here's to making 2018 a year to remember and making dreams come true!

Selina & Vicki xxx
 

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PODCAST | 'Going beneath the surface - an interview with Kirsty Hanly'

It's a wet, snuggle-at-home day here in London, so for those of you that are enjoying the same drizzly weather (and even if you're not!) we have a really juicy podcast for you to snuggle in and listen to...

'Going beneath the surface - an interview with Kirsty Hanly'

Join Selina as she dives deep into conversation with Kirsty Hanly -  coach, writer, TED Talk Speaker and Cognitive Hypnotherapy Master Practitioner.

Kirsty's passion is in helping people to live more connected and fulfilling lives, discover their true potential and to step into their dreams, by helping them move through the unconscious patterns that are holding them back in life.

She is the queen of getting under the surface of things, stripping back the layers to reveal what lies beneath.

Listen in as she and Selina get deep into conversation about what it takes to really get beneath the surface and open up to what we really want in life, how to find balance with our inner masculine and feminine energies and how orgasmic meditation can help you to really experience life in depth aaaaaand helps you to achieve mind-blowing orgasms. Hello.

So if you want to get in on all of THAT juicy conversation then listen in over on our blog. You can also listen and subscribe to our podcasts over on itunes (leave a review on there for us and you’ll make our day!)

To find out more about Kirsty and how to work with her, head over to http://inspiringlivescoaching.com/about-kirsty/

The 6 month group journey she is running with Yaron Engler on relationship, intimacy and love - Me You Us - starts this November - find out more over here: http://me-you-us.co.uk/

In next week's podcast...it's a special one not to be missed!

Next week we'll be getting deep into one of our all time favourite topics: 'why we all need to learn to dream again'

The importance and power of dreaming has been a big topic coming up with our coaching clients this year and in all the years that we've been coaching people we've found that one of the biggest blockers to people living lives they love is that they don't allow themselves to dream.

Dreaming is an essential tool when it comes to designing a life you love and NOT allowing ourselves to do it is having a far bigger impact on our lives than most people realise.

So check your inbox next week for a podcast ALL about it.

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VIDEO | Selina's five top tips on how to start your career change

Today’s video is for those of you that are feeling fed up with your job and either thinking about changing career or starting to make it happen.

I’ve put together a little 18 minute Career Change Session specially for you, sharing with you my 5 top things to do (and one NOT to do) when you start wanting to make a career change.

I’ve been helping people change career and find work that they love for the past 10 years, helping over 2,000 people to figure out what it is they really want to do and how to make it happen. What I’ve found in all those years is that the big difference between those you go for it and make it happen and those who don’t, is that those who make it happen COMMIT to it, they make time in their lives to work on making that change and they TAKE ACTION.

Watch the video below and I’ll tell you more.

And if you are serious about really getting your career change going before the year is up then GET IN TOUCH.

I don’t often open the doors to coaching clients these days (full on with other Project Love stuff!) but autumn is always a time of year when people really start to get that back-to-school ‘I can’t do this for another year!’ feeling. And so this is the time of year that I like to focus on helping some of those people.

And so we are opening up TWO new spaces onto our 3 month 121 Career Change Coaching programme this autumn.

This is the programme where you get to have me as your personal coach for 3 months, helping to guide and support you as your figure out what it is you want to do with your career and then create a plan to make it happen.

I have just had the most amazing season with my two clients who are coming to the end of their journey with me. One (you know her on here - the wonderful Nicole) has quit her corporate job in that time, made a plan to travel the world for a year surfing and has found a new and exciting path as a coach and is already taking on her first guinea pig clients (whoop!), while the other has moved to a super cool new company and gone down to a 3 day week and is using the other two days to test out an amazing new biz idea (still top secret so I can't say more) and is writing a children's book

It's amazing how, when you really commit to making a change and get the right kind of guidance and support, how much can happen and how differently you can feel in just a few months.

So if you are ready to get serious about making a career change and you're ready to invest in getting the right guidance and support in helping you to do it then get in touch.

Drop me a line over at hello@loveprojectlove.com and let me know where you're feeling most stuck and when you'd be free for a chat this week or next.

X Selina

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The power of projects when you’re starting a business or changing career

For those of you with dreams and ideas of changing career or starting your business (or making any life change for that matter) then THE BEST way to try things out and see what it is you really enjoy, is to set yourself small 1-3 month projects that allow you to try on your ideas for size and bring your dreams to life in small ways.

When I was trying out different career and business ideas I turned them all into mini projects. In fact I have built my whole career out of projects and the projects that didn't work out were often the ones where I learnt the greatest lessons.

Here is a video that I pulled out of the archives where I share about a 6 week business that I ran, that taught me SO much about what I did and didn't like AND gave me the experience of setting up a business from start to finish.

Excuse the slightly glowing and smudged quality of the video - video effects had just arrived on iphone in those days and I was getting experimental!

x Selina
 

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How to create your own daily self-love rituals...no matter how busy you are

I’m writing this to you at 6.18am under a cosy blanket with a hot cup of tea. I love being the first one up, the flat totally silent.
It is pure, guilt-free, nowhere-else-I-need-to-be me time. There's no other time of day where I feel this sense of calm, peace and stillness. I've been practicing this morning ritual for the last few months. It’s my new personal ‘project love’.

And it’s much needed...towards the end of last year I was feeling burnt out and exhausted, struggling to find time for me, my calendar bulging with work commitments. Basically too much pink (in my colour coded google calendar, pink is work) and not enough green (wellbeing and me time) and so I decided that this year was about being more green and scheduling myself into my calendar. I realised that the mornings were the one time of day that I could claim as my own. And so now mornings have become sacred to me, giving me space to reflect, be still, take stock and check-in with myself. They set the tone for the day and I have become so fond of this time with me, like catching up with an old friend.

I start with a journalling exercise ‘morning pages’, a tool from the book ‘The Artist's Way’. The idea is that you write a stream of consciousness when you wake up (3 pages specifically), to ‘get to the other side’ (as Julia Cameron would say, author of the book). I’ve been writing about anything and everything that’s been percolating when I wake up. Sometimes it’s profound, other times it’s more like a pity party for one (which Julia encourages as any whinging and complaining needs to be processed so you can move on and get on with your day!).

I've been approaching the project like a builder, adding more layers as the ones before get stronger. A morning gratitude practice has been added in, writing down things I’m thankful for, including ways I am grateful and proud of myself. Some days are more challenging than others and some mornings I feel like I have nothing to say but persistence is key. Recently I’ve also been using guided meditations on Headspace and I've been dabbling with morning exercise but still resisting that one to be honest (working on it!). On the days that I have a little more time I've been indulging in a morning bubble bath and audiobook (currently listening to Caroline Myss’s Energy Anatomy and it is blowing my mind). It feels sort of rebellious, like I’ve been let in on a well kept secret.

Through this process, I've discovered that what I need the most is just to be heard. I am the speaker and the listener. And I’m feeling the effects of it already. I am complaining less out loud, I feel calmer, clearer, more connected to myself and connected to what's important to me. I feel more control of my day and better able to deal with challenges when they arise. And I feel more engaged with life.

What it all comes down to is treating myself like a good friend, with love, kindness, respect and devotion. Spending quality time with me. This sacred time has become like oxygen to me. I need it. I crave it. The main thing I've learnt is how to trust myself. I have a sort of quiet confidence that no matter what happens during the day, I can handle it. Feeling like “I've got this”.

That is the power of having a daily self-love practice.

And it doesn’t matter how busy you are, even with just 2 minutes a day, you can create a self-love ritual for yourself. And you really will feel the difference.

So if you want to learn how to design your own self-love practice, no matter how busy you are, then come and join us at our next Online Project Love Salon event  ‘Self-love for busy women’ on 22nd May at 1pm UK time.

We'll be digging deep into the topic of practicing self love even when you have a jam packed schedule. You'll learn how to design your own self-love toolkit based around your lifestyle and we'll be sharing with you what our own personal self-love practices are and how we work them into our own busy lives.

And as a special summer treat, it’s totally free!

>>> To register for a free ticket to the event and receive the recording from us afterwards SIGN UP OVER HERE



Plus we’ll be announcing an exciting new Project Love membership programme that we've been experimenting with for the last 3 months (with great results for us and the women that have been doing it with us!) and now we're ready to open the doors to you too!

V x
 

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PODCAST | Women who follow their hearts | interview with Victoria Roberts

For our second podcast in the series ‘Women who follow their hearts’ I got to interview one of my coaching clients - the wonderful Victoria Roberts. She has been on a beautiful journey of transformation over the last few years and I wanted her to share her story to inspire others that it is never too late to change...

Victoria came to me two years ago when she was living a fast-paced life in London. On paper it looked like she had a great life - money was good and she had a busy social life, with lots of friends and a successful career. But when we finally chatted on the phone she burst into tears. This wasn't the life she wanted to be living. Something was missing but she wasn't sure what. All she knew was that something needed to change.

After that first teary phone call Vic embarked on an amazing journey during which we saw her transform her relationship with herself, her love life, how she lives and what she does for a career.

She is a wonderful and inspiring example of someone who, despite the fear (and there was a lot of it at times) remained true to her commitment to creating a life and career that she loved.

I won’t spoil the surprise and tell you what her new career path is but I will say that in October she will be our special guest on our Project Love Salon that month and we expect it to be packed out…

So with that I will leave you to have a listen in. My heart was bursting by the end of it - I hope you’ll find it equally as inspiring and heart-warming.

 


Lots of love,

x Selina

P.S. IF YOU'RE READY TO MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE OR CAREER (even if you don't know what that change might be) then come and check out my 3 month 1-2-1 'Design a Life You Love' coaching programme - I am opening up the doors to two new clients this month. So if you're ready to make a career or life change then that client could be you!

>>> Head over here to arrange a call with me.

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Selina's Top 5 Lessons on Designing a Life She Loves

 
 

We are getting ready (and getting very excited) to get going on our brand new Design a Life You Love in 2017 course that starts THIS MONDAY, 16th January

>>> This way if you want to join us!

And so Selina - the queen of designing a life you love - jumped in front of the camera today to share her personal top 5 lessons when it comes to creating a life that she loves.

For those of you that don't know about Selina's journey, over the past 10 years she has designed her life to give her the freedom, adventure, love, creativity and fulfillment that she needs to feel happy and alive. 

In 2009 she became her own boss and started doing the work that she loved - coaching and writing. In 2010 she left London and took off on a 6 month adventure, living and working from a camper van named Beryl. In 2011, with her business in a bag, she worked from amazing places all over the world - the beaches of Costa Rica, Buenos Aires, the icy Chilean Fjords, sunny California and the mountains of Canada. In 2012 she went on a journey of self-love and transformed her love life (with the magic and help of Vicki) and since then she has been creating a home and lifestyle that she loves with her new family in London, whilst growing Project Love into a flourishing business with Vicki.

Here are the top 5 lessons she has learnt in all those years of designing a life she loves to live.

 

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Our first ever ONLINE Project Love Salon | How to create a life you love in 2017

s and v with balloons.jpg

If I gave you a magic wand and told you you could make anything happen in your life in 2017, what would you wish for?

What aspects of your life would you change? What would you keep the same? Is there any area of your life that you would completely transform?

Pause and think about it for a moment…

Imagine you had swished that wand and were living life exactly the way you want to be.

What would that life look like?

How would it feel?

It’s so important that we each take the time to step back, at least a couple of times a year, to ask ourselves questions like these.

Is this the life I want to be living? Is there anything I wish were different? How do I want to feel? Am I feeling that way? And if this isn’t the life I want to be living and if I’m not feeling the way I want to feel, what can I do to change that?

What can I do?

Because whether you realise it or not, you really do have the power to change any area of your life that isn’t making you happy.

We all have the capacity to change and transform our lives.

THAT is our magic as human beings.

No other animal is able to dream things up that don’t yet exist and then bring those dreams to life.

You created the life you are living today. And you can create the life that you just dreamt up a moment ago.

It’s as if we were all born with magic wands at our fingertips.

And when you start to discover and use that magic, your whole experience of life transforms.

You become the conscious creator at the source of your own life. And that is power.

It is key to creating a life you love.

Because living a life you love doesn’t happen by accident. People who are truly happy and fulfilled in life didn’t just fall into it, they weren’t just lucky. They created that life for themselves.

How?

Well that is what life design is all about and on 12th December (next Monday) we’ll be exploring this topic in full in our first ever ONLINE Project Love Salon: ‘How to Create a Life you love in 2017’

We’ll be looking at how people who have created lives they love have done it. What some of the key changes are that people make in life and how they go about it and we’ll be giving you some top tips on how to create a clear vision for your life and how to bring that vision alive in 2017.

And as a special Xmas treat to you this first ever ONLINE Project Love Salon is free to attend!

All you have to do is grab a FREE ticket over here (and if you happen to not be able to make it on the 12th, then we will send you the recording after the event, but you must sign up here to receive it)

Come and join us and start planning what it is you want to make happen in your life in 2017 and we’ll show you the tools to help you do that.

And we'll also be announcing some exciting news on the night which we can't wait to share with you!

See you there,

X Selina & Vicki

 

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Getting the guidance you need from your wise, older self

 
 

Three years ago I wrote this letter I'm holding above, to myself.

I imagined it was a letter being written to me from my wise, older self. Over the years I've done this from time to time when I am starting new chapters in my life, when I am at a cross-roads and need some guidance or when I am struggling and need the reassurance that everything will be alright in the end.

And so I image myself many years from now - at peace, full of love and wisdom and with the wonderful benefit of hindsight - and I imagine what guidance and messages of love and support that older, wiser version of me would offer to the person I am today.

A few weeks ago I found this letter that I had written and posted to myself on the 28th October - two days after my birthday - 3 years ago.

I was fully dedicated at that time to learning to love myself and on the path that would later inspire our 'Get Ready for Love' course, but I still had my moments of despair and frustration - after so many years of disappointments and never finding anyone that was right for me, was it ever going to happen?

I needed some wise guidance and reassurance and so I picked up a pen, channeled that wise, older self and let her send me her words of guidance and wisdom.

Reading back on that letter 3 years later, with my partner and little boy lying on the bed next to me, I'm struck at how true those wise words were.

And so here is the letter I wrote to myself. If you are single and wondering why it hasn't happened to you yet, let these words calm and reassure you in the way they once did me…

Dearest Selina,

The moment you realise that your life and your happiness do not depend on finding a partner and having a family, you will be set free.

So that when you do meet a man you'd love to spend the rest of your life with, you won't demand your happiness and blame your sadness and loneliness on the relationship. You won't expect your children to fulfill your life in a way you never could. Instead you will love him, your relationship and your children for who they are. You will allow for them to grow and evolve and change and not fear that in doing so you will be left alone and unhappy.

These years of longing for a partner have been hard, I know. I do understand. You thrive in partnership and to not have it in your life has not been easy, but you will one day be so incredibly thankful that you had the strength to not settle.

So that you could learn lessons that have made you into the person you are. Deep down you chose it, so that you had the space to know yourself first before becoming a partner and creating a family.

But don't fear, it WILL happen and will be richer for the time you spent with yourself being your own partner in life.

Focus on love in abundance in all areas of life and enjoy seeing what grows.

x Selina

At the time this letter gave me such a sense of calm, reminding me that I was in fact exactly where I needed to be. That this was all part of the plan. That this time alone was in fact something I would one day be eternally grateful for.

How wise that older self was. Today I really do look back on that time with deep gratitude, because I see now that it was in those single years that I became the person I am today. In being single for all those years I discovered a strength in me that I didn’t know I had, I got to experience a wonderful freedom that no woman in my family had ever experienced before and my wings got to spread out wide as I flew all over the world. I got to discover the sweetness of solitude and even the transformative power of heartbreak. Each time I thought my heart was breaking, it was in fact a piece of my ego falling away and a piece of my heart being returned to me until finally I stood strong and whole as the queen of my own kingdom.

THAT is what I was doing in the time I was single. And my wiser self knew that, even then.

I appreciated too how she  understood my longing for partnership and love with another and understood that it wasn’t easy to have such a strong longing and not know when or if it would ever happen. Because longing is a hard one. It’s so heavy and can cling to your heart even in the happiest of times.

But do you know what, I believe it is because of all those years of longing that I am so grateful on a daily basis for the relationship I enjoy today.

But what I love most of all about this letter is that it reminds me that when we choose to, we really can tap into a part of ourselves that is connected deeply with life and that always has love, wisdom and guidance to offer. We just have to learn how to make space for her to be heard.

So why not give it a go yourself this week? Imagine a wise, old version of you is reaching back to the person you are today, she looks upon you with so much love and has so much wisdom and guidance to offer you. Let her write a letter to you and just see what she has to say.

X Selina

 

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What if you found out that the whole purpose of life was just to ENJOY it?

On Monday we did a talk at the Electric - Soho House - in London all about 'How to stay happy and grounded in a fast-paced life'. It's a HUGE topic that we dedicated a whole podcast to recently - listen to it here.

And ever since we did the talk I've been thinking back to a blog post that I wrote six years ago that served as a powerful wake up call at a time when I was running a million miles an hour, taking on waaaay too much and living off a constantly caffeinated and adrenalised high, while underneath it all I was exhausted and unhappy.

The blog post was my way of grabbing myself by the shoulders, gently shaking me with love and saying 'Why are you doing this to yourself?!'.

Why was I pushing myself so hard? Noone was asking me to do that, so why did I feel that I should? Who was I doing it all for? Was I expecting to get some kind of prize at the end of it all?

Finally as I lay one night collapsed on my sofa, in full blown burn out, I scribbled out this blog post and drew this little postcard.

It marked a turning point for me and I've never forgotten the message I gave myself that day.

So if you have a tendency to push yourself too hard, take on too much, put other people's needs ahead of your own and forget to prioritise the things in life that make you truly happy, then have a read of this.

This message is for you too.

"Imagine if, when you die, it turns out that there IS a heaven and a pair of pearly gates. And when you get there, standing there is god himself looking down at you. You're in the spot light.

You're waiting for the big judgement, the ultimate test, hoping desperately that you did OK, that you did enough, that you were good enough, helped enough people, weren't too selfish, weren't too mean.

You stand there fingers crossed as he flicks through the portfolio of your life and then he smiles and asks calmly,

'So did you enjoy it?'

'Because that's all we wanted. For you to enjoy your time on earth, enjoy the experience of being alive, discover what made you come alive, what made you happy and spend your life doing that...that was what it was all about'.

Imagine that.

Imagine after all that striving and hard work, it turns out that the best thing you could possibly have done for yourself, the people around you and the earth as a whole, was to discover what makes you come alive, follow your heart and spend your time on earth doing that. Imagine that.

I like this game. Try it. Day dream the scene for a moment (no requirement to believe in god for this to work), the moment where you are told that the whole point of this game called life was to create and live a life you love because THAT above all is what the world needs.

What would your reaction be? Play it out.

Here's how my scene pans out.

I'd stand for a moment agog. And then I wouldn't be able to hold back.


"Seriously?! Was that all I had to do?! Why didn't anyone tell me!? Why did I listen to all those people saying that I should be doing this and that?! Why didn't you send some kind of message?!"

I think god would probably look back agog at me.

"What do you mean I didn't tell you?!" I imagine god saying back somewhat indignantly, if gods are allowed to be indignant.

"You had that fridge magnet up for twenty years saying 'don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and then go and do that, because what the world needs is people that have come alive', you built a whole career around that message. So you did know"

If heaven had rocks, I'd be kicking them by now.

"Yeah, but I wasn't sure if that was really allowed - enjoying life so much, having such a good time. Why didn't you just tell everyone it was allowed and that we ALL had a choice and it wasn't just that I was 'lucky' but it was simply that I chose to make it happen. You could have helped me out"

I imagine myself bursting into hot tears of frustration. Thinking back to all those hours, days, years spent doing what I thought I 'should' rather than what made me happy, what made me feel alive. All those years standing in my own way, all that time feeling guilty for having a life I loved, trying to make up for it, apologising for it, feeling guilty for it.

I'd want to go back in time and show myself this scene, send it to myself like a picture on a postcard.

                   (this is the postcard I created after I'd written the blog post)

                   (this is the postcard I created after I'd written the blog post)

I'd tell myself to stop feeling guilty about having a life I love, but instead to celebrate it and enjoy it. To get comfortable with it, embrace it, relax into it. That this is allowed. That everyone has the choice to create a life out of the stuff they love and that just because not everyone chooses to do that doesn't mean you have to feel guilty about doing it yourself. Don't create a life you love and then not allow yourself to enjoy it. THAT is bonkers. I'd say do even more of it. Have even more adventures. Dance, laugh, paint, love out loud. And celebrate the whole lot of it. The glorious experience of being alive and being you.

I'd tell myself to join hands with all the others out there creating lives out of the stuff they love and celebrating it. I'd tell myself to full on party with them, keep that party expanding and the door open to anyone that wants to join, but not to worry if people don't choose to. Let them be.

So my question to you today is...what would you do?

What if we were to find out that that IS what we're here to do - to enjoy life, really experience it, follow our hearts, do what makes us come alive? What if you were told that your job on this earth was to make YOU happy, discovering and doing the things you love?

What would you do differently?

Click reply to let me know."

And so, six years later, let's get this conversation going again. Let us know, by leaving a comment below, what you would do differently if your whole purpose on earth was simply to ENJOY yourself and all that life has to offer. And let this be the start, like it was for me six years ago, that you begin to make YOU a top priority in your life.

x Selina

P.S. If you know someone who also has a tendency to put other people's needs before their own and run themselves into the ground with it, then forward this onto them too ;)

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What it’s like to do what you love, start your own business and spread love for a living

This week we were interviewed by the wonderful Emily Chiswell of Passion Pods about what it’s like to do what you love, start your own business and spread love for a living.

We had such a good time doing the interview that we wanted to share it with you too. Plus Emily's passion and enthusiasm is infectious - you can't help but grin as you listen to her talk!

So whether you have always wanted to start your own business, are longing to do what you love for a living or just want to hear about how Project Love all began, then this is one to listen to on your way home today: http://www.passionpods.co.uk/passion_pod/86-project-love/

x Selina & Vicki

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Designing a Life of Love in 2016

We’re celebrating Valentine’s day this year by inviting ladies, single and in relationships, to join us at Frame to talk about ‘How to design a life of love in 2016’.

This is a topic that we're SO passionate about and one that Selina has been teaching for over 10 years. The key message being that living a life you love doesn’t happen by accident. It’s up to you to design it that way.

That’s why, when we’re helping women to get ready for love, we make sure they are taking full charge of their own lives and their happiness.

Because we are each responsible for our own happiness, it’s no-one else’s job. And when you take your life in both your hands and realise that you are the artist that creates the life that you are living, life suddenly becomes incredibly exciting and full of possibility.

So what would a life full of love look like to you? And how do you go from having a picture of what you want your life to look like to actually making that the life you live?

Well, that is what life design is all about. It teaches you how to first figure out what will make you feel happy, fulfilled and truly alive in life and then how to fill your life up with those ingredients.

BUT. And this is a big but. Life design is NOT about creating a vision of a perfect life and then trying to force your life to look exactly like that. Not at all. Life design is about approaching life like an artist.

Artists often have a vision of what they want to create, but they allow that vision to shift shape and take new directions as they go. They allow for accidents to happen, they’re not afraid to make mistakes. They learn from all of it. And that is how we encourage people to approach the art of life design.

Get clear on what makes you happy, yes, but also get curious about what makes you happy.

Experiment. Try new things. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

Enjoy having a vision of what you want to create, yes, but remember not to get too hung up on exactly what that life should look like.

Design a space in which you will thrive and then see what grows in that space.

We’d love you to join us on the 14th Feb at Frame Shoreditch to learn how to design a space in which you can thrive and feel full of love in 2016.

BOOK NOW: How to Design a Life of Love in 2016, 14th February.

X Selina and Vicki

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