self-love

PODCAST - Self love lessons learnt from ‘28 days of love 2019’

 
 

Oof what a podcast episode we have in store for you today! We have just come to the end of our self love challenge, ‘28 Days of Love’ and we have so many fresh insights and lessons to share with you, this podcast is packed full of them!

Tune in to hear us talk about:

  • Our top lessons learnt from practicing self love for 28 days to build a self love habit (which has also included the breaking of old habits!)

  • All of the ways that we resisted self love during the challenge and how we overcame that resistance

  • Our misconceptions and limiting narratives around self love and how we challenged them to expand our definition of what it really means to love yourself

  • How simple it really can be to treat yourself with love each and every day (and how it really requires very little time and zero money!)

  • The importance of self compassion on your self love journey

  • and much much more!

(And here is the TED talk that we mentioned from Tracy McMillan, ‘The person you really need to marry’ (it is so gorgeous!))

Now, with 28 Days of Love having come to an end, we would love to hear from you what journey you’d most like us to take you on next. It will take no more than a minute to answer this ONE question from us in the survey below. We can’t wait to see what you all vote for!

 
Create your own user feedback survey


x Selina & Vicki

P.S. If you haven’t yet started 28 Days of Love (our free self love challenge!) and you would like to then it’s not too late, you can start any time! Head over here and download your free PDF guide to getting started (plus you’ll also find a big list of ideas to get you started on your self love journey)



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PODCAST - The Trouble with Self Love - why we resist it so damn much!

 
 

When it comes to self love, we seem to have got ourselves into a right pickle and so we got together to talk about that, sharing fresh insights from our self love challenge ‘28 Days of Love’. We can’t wait for you to listen to this week’s episode!


Tune in to hear us talk about:

  • The most common narratives and misconceptions around self love and the impact these are having on us and the way that we treat ourselves

  • The many misunderstandings around self love and how as a society, we don’t actually value the inner work of self love and self care  

  • How our perfectionist tendencies can hijack self love and limit us from really experiencing the power of it

  • Why self love can feel rebellious (and why that’s a good thing!)

  • Why we can resist self love so damn much

  • And much more!

    🎧 You can also listen to this episode (and all of our other episodes) on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

We really hope you enjoy this episode, always recorded with love.


x Selina & Vicki

PS If you haven’t yet started 28 Days of Love (our free self love challenge!) and you would like to then it’s not too late, you can start any time! Head over here and download your free PDF guide to getting started (plus you’ll also find a big list of ideas to get you started on your self love journey)


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PODCAST - How to bring magic to the mundane - interview with Tiu de Haan

 
 

Last week Selina went to visit the wonderful Tiu de Haan - the ritual designer, creative facilitator and intuitive mentor who has among her list of clients, the United Nations, L’Oreal, Google, neuroscientists, economists, world-leading quantum physicists and burnt out Londoners!

 Selina joined Tiu on her magical boat in the heart of London to discover how she helps people to create moments of meaning in their daily lives and experiences that bring them back into a deeper connection with themselves.

 Join them as they talk about:

  • How to reawaken your sense of wonder

  • How to bring magic to the mundane

  • How to honour your natural ebbs and flows in life

  • How to create micro moments in the day to reconnect to your deeper self

  • How to align your life with your natural seasons, cycles and daily energy rhythms

  • How to master the art of napping

  • Radical self care

  • and a whole lot more!

🎧 You can also listen to this episode (and all of our other episodes) on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

To find out more about Tiu - her online courses, workshops and 1-2-1 adventures (where you get to hang out in her magical boat too!) head over here. (There are all sorts of wonderful games and online classes for you to choose from in her online shop, so be sure to check it out!)

And if you’d like to buy the online course - Possibility of Wonder - then simply enter LOVE when you get to the checkout and you’ll get £20 off!

 

Lots of love,

Vicki and Selina

 


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PODCAST - Committing to Self Love | Interview with Melody Godfred, founder of Fred and Far

 
 

We are so excited for you to listen to today’s episode as Vicki got to interview the absolutely wonderful and incredibly inspiring Melody Godfred, founder of Fred and Far and the author of ‘The ABC’s of self love’.

If you haven’t come across Fred and Far before then you are in for such a treat with this week’s episode! Fred and Far is a self love movement that is empowering women all over the world. And it started with a self love pinky ring (which are absolutely gorgeous btw, check them out over here).

In this episode, we talk about Melody’s own journey to self love, the lessons she has learnt along the way, the power of boundaries + self compassion and how self love and sisterhood will save the planet. Plus so much more!

🎧 You can also listen to this episode (and all of our other episodes) on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

This is such a special one, we can’t wait for you to listen to it!

x Selina & Vicki

Ps jussssst in case you missed it, 28 Days of Love (our self-love challenge) has begun over on Instagram and it has been so much fun so far! With 28 Days of Love we’ll show you just how easy it can be to give yourself a dose of self-love each and every day (no matter how busy you are). And what a difference it can make! We would love you to join us (it’s not too late!) <3 head over here for all of the details on how to take part.





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PODCAST | LOVE: it’s not just for Valentine’s - a live recording at Liberty London

 
 

Happy Day of Love!

We cannot wait for you to hear this next episode. It is our first live podcast recording which took place last night at none other than Liberty London and wow was it a powerful one!

 We talked about:

  • Why we are SO passionate about busting the modern day myth that love is something that comes from that one special romantic partner in life

  • The impact that belief has had on so many of our lives and our relationships.

  • The exciting rise in a new approach to love - that has self-love at the heart of it - that is empowering and liberating and actually helps us to flourish as individuals and in our relationships

  • How learning to love yourself is a skill that we can all get good at

  • The different ways you can weave self-love into your day to day life

  • Why so many of us resist self-love (and what to do about that)

  • And how, when you start to tune into that inner loving voice your life will start to transform from the inside out

We covered a LOT, we went deep and had a good laugh in the process. Such a special episode. Both of us went away feeling so calm and full of love and we hope you will too.

And as you will hear in the episode 28 Days of Love - our self-love challenge over on Instagram - has begun! It is free for everyone so come and join us!


With 28 Days of Love we’ll show you just how easy it can be to give yourself a dose of self-love each and every day (no matter how busy you are). And what a difference it can make!

💖✨HOW TO TAKE PART✨💖

It’s simple!

1. Make sure you are following us on Instagram @loveprojeclove - this is where all the buzz will be, with daily tips and inspiration on how to give yourself simple daily doses of self-love

2. Head over here to download your PDF guide to getting started (includes a big long list of daily acts of love you can choose from) ⠀⠀⠀

3. Choose your daily act of self-love for the day (and do it!)

4. Share and celebrate your daily acts of self-love with us by tagging us in your stories @loveprojectlove and using #28daysoflove2019 on your post

The idea of all of us making a self-love pact and doing this together just fills us with joy! We can’t wait to see what you get up to!

With love,

X Selina and Vicki

 

P.S. If you or a friend are currently navigating the world of dating and looking for a loving relationship then tune in on Sunday for the FIRST in our new ‘Get Ready for Love’ series here on the podcast. Each week we’ll be delivering a dose of practical tips and guidance on how to navigate the modern dating world and find the right partner for you.

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

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PODCAST | How to love your body | Interview with Harri Rose

 
 

Ooh we have a treat of a podcast for you this week as we got to interview the gorgeous and infectiously joyful Harri Rose, a health coach who helps women to unapologetically love their bodies.

Listen in as we talk about body love, body confidence and body acceptance and how, treating your body with love, kindness and compassion can totally transform your life. And not a diet in sight!

We loved recording this podcast and we think Harri’s work is so needed right now (particularly at the start of the year when we are flooded with messages of gym memberships and diets).

Head over here for more Harri Rose magic and to find out how to work with her.


Can’t wait for you to listen to the podcast - and when you do, hit REPLY and let us know what you think and what resonated with you. We always love to hear from you!

x Selina & Vicki

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

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PODCAST: Why self-love is key when it comes to finding love and making love last

 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify

Today we’re celebrating the 3rd birthday of Get Ready for Love - our 30 lesson online course that helps women to transform their love lives from the inside out.

It truly has been such a powerful course - in the three years since we launched it, 600+ women have been through the course, discovering the power of self-love and how to open up to invite love into their lives - we’ve already had a number of weddings and even babies amongst our Get Ready for Love community and we have received some wonderful features in the press with a fresh new one coming out in Red magazine in just a couple of weeks!

But what has been the most powerful of all has been to see so many women discover the power of self-love. They come alive with it and we get to witness it every day in the Love Zone - the incredible online community that has grown up around the Get Ready for Love course.

So we decided to dedicate this next Project Love podcast episode to the power and importance of self love when it comes to both finding love and making love last.

And we invited members of the Love Zone to share their stories and lessons on love with us so that we could share them with you, both in this podcast episode and on a brand new gallery we now have here where you can read stories and lessons on love shared by women who have been through the Get Ready for Love course. They are so moving!

So press play on this latest episode below or over on Apple podcast or Spotify and feed up on the love!

X Vicki & Selina

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Vulnerability in action with Allysa Rochelle from the Vulnerable Podcast

 
 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

This week's episode on the blog is a bit of a different one and a special one.

 I was joined by Allysa Rochelle, founder and host of the brilliant Vulnerable Podcast to talk about vulnerability and demonstrate it in action...

I am such a huge fan of Rochelle (as she likes to be called) and of the powerful work she is doing with her podcast (and beyond). I have been so inspired and learnt so much from her and her guests from their deep dives into all sorts of topics from white supremacy, to hyper-masculinity to sex after trauma - conversations that all require vulnerability and openness. 

So I reached out to Rochelle a few months ago asking if she'd come on the Project Love podcast to talk about vulnerability and the Vulnerable Podcast. 

We met up and talked and she shared a little bit about her personal story - I’d had an inkling that there was quite a big story under there and that she was very much on her own personal healing journey and we arrived at the idea that she tell her story for the first time on the Project Love podcast, embracing and demonstrating vulnerability in action. 

And so that is what we did.

As such it is quite a long podcast but I didn’t want to cut it down - I wanted Rochelle to be able to tell her story uncut. The most courageous thing any of us can do.

So thank you for joining us to create the space for Rochelle’s story to be heard. And thank YOU Rochelle for having the courage and love to share it.

x Selina

Listen to Rochelle and her Vulnerable Podcast on iTunes or Soundcloud
Follow Rochelle on Instagram @Vulnerablepodcast and @allysarochelle

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PODCAST: Sex, self-love, orgasms and everything in between!

 
 

🎧 You can also listen to this and all of our other podcasts on Apple Podcast (iTunes) and Spotify.

Ooh we can’t wait for you to get stuck into this week’s podcast! 

Selina got together with Victoria Helen Roberts - body image and intimacy coach and certified sexological bodyworker to talk about sex, self-pleasure, self-love, orgasms and everything in between.  

It is as juicy a podcast episode as you might expect it to be.

They talked about the taboo around discussing sex openly and honestly in our society - where that comes from and the impact it can have on us, the importance of exploring and experimenting when it comes to our bodies and what turns them on and why sometimes it’s best to take the orgasm off the menu for a bit to focus on the other aspects of sex and learning how to give your body pleasure all over. 

Victoria shared loads of practical tips about how to get back in touch with your body and improve your sex life, whether you’re in a relationship, single or somewhere in between. 

Honestly, it is SUCH a good one!

So hit play above or tune in over on iTunes and enjoy!

And as ever, if you’re a fan of our podcasts then it would make our day if you would leave us a review over on iTunes - every review makes a big difference in helping us to spread the love to even more people. 

Much love,

x Selina & Vicki

P.S. If you are used to finding our podcasts over on Soundcloud we have now moved over to Audioboom, so that soon you'll also be able to listen to our podcasts on Spotify. 

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Our brand new Project Love *free* audio workshop | 'Self Love for busy women'

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Happy Day of Love!!!!!!!!! 💗 💗 💗

As we do every year, we are hijacking Valentine’s Day and making it all about SELF-love.

And to celebrate this special day we have created a brand new audio workshop for you: ‘Self Love for Busy Women’ - an in-depth workshop on the topic of self-love and how to find smart and easy ways to give yourself the love you need, even when you have a jam-packed schedule and barely any time for lunch!

If you're already part of the Project Love tribe then a link to the workshop will already be sitting in your inbox. Otherwise head on over here to sign up and we'll send you the workshop straight away!

In the workshop you will learn:

  • What we actually mean by self-love (and no, it’s not all bubble baths and expensive body lotions)

  • Why self-love is a radical act that has the power to transform your whole life

  • How to start a self-love practice if you’ve never done it before (and how to up your game if you have!)

  • Our four favourite ways to practice self-love

  • How to make TIME for a self-love practice, no matter how busy you are

  • How to use your calendar as your canvas to make self-love a permanent fixture in your life

    We've designed this audio workshop for you to keep in your back pocket and use any time you've managed to get so busy doing other things that you've accidentally forgotten about one of the most important people in your life...YOU.

Because loving yourself isn’t just a nice to have. It is the KEY to you living a life that you LOVE.

Because when you learn to truly love yourself and become THE source of love in your own life, everything changes. Your life transforms from the inside out.

If you're looking for a loving partner in life then self-love is the magic that will attract that person in.

If you have ambitions for this year - things you want to make happen, goals you want to achieve - then self-love is the fuel that will help you make it happen while remaining grounded, fulfilled and in flow.

If you’re in a relationship, self-love will feed and nourish that relationship, keeping the flames of love alight and if you're a mother, wanting to create a happy home for you and your family, then self-love is the key.

So let’s make this the year that we ALL take a stand together, reclaim ownership of our time and make self-love a TOP priority in our lives.

It's time for a self-love revolution!

So download the 'Self love for busy women' audio workshop and let's get it started!

x Selina & Vicki

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PODCAST: Real Love Story with Caroline Atkinson

 

So excited to share this podcast with you - a real love story with a friend of mine, Caroline Atkinson, whose love story with Gus spans almost 10 years.

We talk about relationship challenges, the incredible lessons learnt from spending 6 years apart, the importance of taking responsibility for your own happiness and the absolute joy of brunching on your own.

I remember attending a talk with Alain de Botton and he made reference to the fact that novels and films (in particular, fairy tales and rom coms) often don't give us a correct map of love and 'leave us unprepared to deal adequately with the difficulties of being in a couple'. And so we grow up with slightly unrealistic notions of love and what it means to be in a relationship. Hearing Caroline share her story really helped me to understand this more deeply and how we can update our 'map of love' to be more in-line with the realities of relating in today's world. 

I was so inspired by Caroline's journey of self discovery and self love and how she and Gus were able to start a new chapter in their relationship and the strength and vulnerability that requires, on both parts. I hope you enjoy this as much as I loved recording it.

V xxx

 

 

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Your calendar is your canvas

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As many of you are spending this month dreaming and planning for the year ahead we wanted to share with you a tool that is a must-have when it comes to life designing.

Because while the dreaming and planning part can all be very exciting, there isn’t much point to it if they remain forgotten in a notebook.

What you need is the real-life version of a magic wand that will help to bring those dreams and desires to life.

Welcome to the ultimate life design tool:

A calendar.

When it comes to designing and living a life you love, your calendar is your canvas.

Plenty of us use calendars in our day to day lives to keep on top of things at work and do what needs to be done. But the magic happens when you start to use it to create your life, by taking your list of things you want to fill your life with - from time with friends, to more sleep, to a monthly massage, to changing career -  and giving each of those things dedicated time and dates in your diary.

Suddenly your dreams and desires are now booked and ready to happen.

Here is how to do it.

If you did our Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018 guide you will now have a beautiful book full of things you want to fill your 2018 with, so let’s get that list out.

If you didn’t do it then take a page and write down the activities, people, places, projects that you would like to fill your life with in 2018.

Include on your list any activities and practices you know you need on a daily or weekly basis to feel well, energised and calm in your body eg. proper breakfast to start the day, exercise twice a week, 8 hours sleep a night, a massage once a month.

Now get out your calendar (paper or digital, that’s up to you) and let’s start booking these things into your life and designing your day, your week, your month, your year, so that you are filling it with the things, people and places you love.

Daily commitments

Always begin with your wellbeing. It is THE foundation to a happy life. So start by looking at your daily calendar and book in the things you know you need to feel well and happy in your body, but that you often let slip.

So, for example, if starting the day with a nourishing breakfast is an important one for you, but something you usually forget to do, then get that in your diary as a daily date with yourself, setting your alarm to get you up 15 minutes earlier if necessary.

Eventually those nourishing breakfasts in the morning will become a natural part of your normal routine and you won’t have to schedule them, but until that happens, keep them as firm dates in your calendar.

Weekly commitments

Now let’s look at what you want to book in on a regular weekly basis as a fixed commitment - things you want to do for your wellbeing and happiness eg. time for exercise, dates with yourself, hobbies etc

Decide when in the week you want to commit to doing these things and book them in.

Also book in time each week dedicated to focus on any big changes or dreams you’re wanting to make happen in 2018. By creating dedicated time to focus on them, those changes and dreams are far more likely to happen.

Monthly commitments

Next schedule in the things you want to do monthly -  eg a massage, trip to the countryside, dinner for friends etc. If you need time to research, invite friends, make bookings in advance for these things to happen, then make sure you book in time for that too.

One-off yearly commitments

Finally, take a step back and look at your whole year ahead and block in time for the fun adventures, holidays, courses and outings you want to enjoy throughout the year, even if for now you can only pencil them in because you’re not yet sure on the exact dates.

Again, if any of these require a good amount of planning and research, then block out time to do that too.

And there you have it. A calendar that now has all your ingredients for a happy life firmly woven into it.

Now all you have to do is stick to those commitments. But that is for another blog post ;)

For now, enjoy painting that canvas of yours with the things you love and let us know how you get on.

X Selina & Vicki

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How to create your own daily self-love rituals...no matter how busy you are

I’m writing this to you at 6.18am under a cosy blanket with a hot cup of tea. I love being the first one up, the flat totally silent.
It is pure, guilt-free, nowhere-else-I-need-to-be me time. There's no other time of day where I feel this sense of calm, peace and stillness. I've been practicing this morning ritual for the last few months. It’s my new personal ‘project love’.

And it’s much needed...towards the end of last year I was feeling burnt out and exhausted, struggling to find time for me, my calendar bulging with work commitments. Basically too much pink (in my colour coded google calendar, pink is work) and not enough green (wellbeing and me time) and so I decided that this year was about being more green and scheduling myself into my calendar. I realised that the mornings were the one time of day that I could claim as my own. And so now mornings have become sacred to me, giving me space to reflect, be still, take stock and check-in with myself. They set the tone for the day and I have become so fond of this time with me, like catching up with an old friend.

I start with a journalling exercise ‘morning pages’, a tool from the book ‘The Artist's Way’. The idea is that you write a stream of consciousness when you wake up (3 pages specifically), to ‘get to the other side’ (as Julia Cameron would say, author of the book). I’ve been writing about anything and everything that’s been percolating when I wake up. Sometimes it’s profound, other times it’s more like a pity party for one (which Julia encourages as any whinging and complaining needs to be processed so you can move on and get on with your day!).

I've been approaching the project like a builder, adding more layers as the ones before get stronger. A morning gratitude practice has been added in, writing down things I’m thankful for, including ways I am grateful and proud of myself. Some days are more challenging than others and some mornings I feel like I have nothing to say but persistence is key. Recently I’ve also been using guided meditations on Headspace and I've been dabbling with morning exercise but still resisting that one to be honest (working on it!). On the days that I have a little more time I've been indulging in a morning bubble bath and audiobook (currently listening to Caroline Myss’s Energy Anatomy and it is blowing my mind). It feels sort of rebellious, like I’ve been let in on a well kept secret.

Through this process, I've discovered that what I need the most is just to be heard. I am the speaker and the listener. And I’m feeling the effects of it already. I am complaining less out loud, I feel calmer, clearer, more connected to myself and connected to what's important to me. I feel more control of my day and better able to deal with challenges when they arise. And I feel more engaged with life.

What it all comes down to is treating myself like a good friend, with love, kindness, respect and devotion. Spending quality time with me. This sacred time has become like oxygen to me. I need it. I crave it. The main thing I've learnt is how to trust myself. I have a sort of quiet confidence that no matter what happens during the day, I can handle it. Feeling like “I've got this”.

That is the power of having a daily self-love practice.

And it doesn’t matter how busy you are, even with just 2 minutes a day, you can create a self-love ritual for yourself. And you really will feel the difference.

So if you want to learn how to design your own self-love practice, no matter how busy you are, then come and join us at our next Online Project Love Salon event  ‘Self-love for busy women’ on 22nd May at 1pm UK time.

We'll be digging deep into the topic of practicing self love even when you have a jam packed schedule. You'll learn how to design your own self-love toolkit based around your lifestyle and we'll be sharing with you what our own personal self-love practices are and how we work them into our own busy lives.

And as a special summer treat, it’s totally free!

>>> To register for a free ticket to the event and receive the recording from us afterwards SIGN UP OVER HERE



Plus we’ll be announcing an exciting new Project Love membership programme that we've been experimenting with for the last 3 months (with great results for us and the women that have been doing it with us!) and now we're ready to open the doors to you too!

V x
 

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PODCAST: Interview with Chloe Brotheridge, author of 'The Anxiety Solution'

We have a treat of a podcast for you, as we got to interview Chloe Brotheridge, author of 'The Anxiety Solution: A Quieter Mind, a Calmer You'. Chloe, a clinical hypnotherapist and anxiety expert, wrote 'The Anxiety Solution' to help women manage modern anxiety triggers like perfectionism, social media pressure, people pleasing, fear of failure and fear of success.

Listen in to hear us discuss why anxiety is affecting more women than men (research shows that women are twice as likely to experience anxiety than men), how anxiety can show up in our love lives and why it’s so exhausting to be everyone’s cup of tea. Plus a whole lot more. We absolutely loved talking to Chloe! 

Listen to the podcast below or download it over on iTunes or Soundcloud

Lots of love,

Selina & Vicki XX

 
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PODCAST | How to set healthy boundaries and learn the art of saying 'no'

We’ve got a fresh new podcast for you to enjoy, all about the importance of setting healthy boundaries and learning to say 'no' (the loving way).

It’s a topic that has been coming up a lot lately among our Project Love communities and our friends. It seems to be something everyone knows they need to get good at, but they get stuck on how to do it.

And so we’ve dug in deep and taken a look at why it is so important, why people often get stuck when it comes to setting boundaries and saying ’no’ to people, and how to do it the healthy loving way.

Listen to it below or download it over on iTunes or Soundcloud

Lots of love,

Selina & Vicki

 
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Imposter Syndrome...do you suffer from it?

We have a juicy podcast for you this week on 'Imposter Syndrome' - something that a LOT of people seem to suffer from these days.

It's that feeling that any minute now you're going to be found out for being a fraud. That you're not everything people seem to think you are. That you don't deserve the position you have. That it's all been a big mistake and soon people are going to figure it out.

So why are so many people, including a lot of big name celebrities, suffering from this? And if it's something you suffer from, what can you do about it?

Tune in to deep dive into the topic with us.

 

You can also subscribe to all of our podcasts and download them over on iTunes and Soundcloud
 

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Write yourself a love letter this Valentine's day

This year, in true Project Love style, we are hijacking Valentine's Day and making it all about self-love. Instead of making this day of love all about romantic love and focusing your attention on others that you love or lust after, we want you to turn all that love right around and in on yourself, starting with the way that you speak to yourself. 

Why? Because learning to speak to yourself like you would your best friend - with love and support - is one of the most powerful things you can do. It is a life changer and key to your happiness and success.

Just imagine what it would be like to spend a day with a voice in your head that was loving and supportive, that was always there for you, that had your back and would remind you that you were loved.

Wouldn’t that feel great?

Imagine all the things you would have the confidence to do. You would make yourself a top priority in life and fill that life with the things that made you happy. You would look after yourself well, follow your dreams and design a life for yourself that you truly loved. A life that would feel as good as it looked.

Now think about the voice that you tend to use on yourself day to day. Often we are our own harshest critics, with a voice in our head that is constantly pointing out what we have done wrong or how we should have done better.

A day of listening to that is exhausting, feels rubbish and has you playing small.

So this Valentine’s Day we are encouraging everyone to turn up the volume on their loving inner voice to hear what it has to say.

How? By writing a letter to you, from your wise older self.

It is a simple exercise that can be surprisingly powerful.

The idea is that you imagine your wise older 80 year old self is sending a message back to the woman you are today. She has the gift of hindsight and knows that everything works out well for you in the end and right now she wants to give you some encouragement, love and support at this point in your life.

You might at first think that you won’t be able to come up with anything, but people are usually surprised at how much this side of them believes in them and loves them.

We invite you to give it a go and share with us how you get on!

Here is what you do:

1. Treat yourself to some special letter writing paper (some lovely sets over at Paperchase)

2. Download 'The Project Love Guide to Writing Yourself a Letter from your Wise, Older Self'

3. Share your favourite line from the letter you wrote to yourself over on Twitter using #selfloveletter and @ProjectLove or why not take a photo of your letter and share it with us on Instagram using #selfloveletter and @loveprojectlove

We will be sharing your love letters during Valentine’s Week <3

Selina & Vicki x

PS for those in London, we will be at Paperchase (Tottenham Court Rd store) on Weds 8th Feb for an evening of self love and letter writing - tickets here - come and write your love letter with us!

 

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Getting the guidance you need from your wise, older self

 
 

Three years ago I wrote this letter I'm holding above, to myself.

I imagined it was a letter being written to me from my wise, older self. Over the years I've done this from time to time when I am starting new chapters in my life, when I am at a cross-roads and need some guidance or when I am struggling and need the reassurance that everything will be alright in the end.

And so I image myself many years from now - at peace, full of love and wisdom and with the wonderful benefit of hindsight - and I imagine what guidance and messages of love and support that older, wiser version of me would offer to the person I am today.

A few weeks ago I found this letter that I had written and posted to myself on the 28th October - two days after my birthday - 3 years ago.

I was fully dedicated at that time to learning to love myself and on the path that would later inspire our 'Get Ready for Love' course, but I still had my moments of despair and frustration - after so many years of disappointments and never finding anyone that was right for me, was it ever going to happen?

I needed some wise guidance and reassurance and so I picked up a pen, channeled that wise, older self and let her send me her words of guidance and wisdom.

Reading back on that letter 3 years later, with my partner and little boy lying on the bed next to me, I'm struck at how true those wise words were.

And so here is the letter I wrote to myself. If you are single and wondering why it hasn't happened to you yet, let these words calm and reassure you in the way they once did me…

Dearest Selina,

The moment you realise that your life and your happiness do not depend on finding a partner and having a family, you will be set free.

So that when you do meet a man you'd love to spend the rest of your life with, you won't demand your happiness and blame your sadness and loneliness on the relationship. You won't expect your children to fulfill your life in a way you never could. Instead you will love him, your relationship and your children for who they are. You will allow for them to grow and evolve and change and not fear that in doing so you will be left alone and unhappy.

These years of longing for a partner have been hard, I know. I do understand. You thrive in partnership and to not have it in your life has not been easy, but you will one day be so incredibly thankful that you had the strength to not settle.

So that you could learn lessons that have made you into the person you are. Deep down you chose it, so that you had the space to know yourself first before becoming a partner and creating a family.

But don't fear, it WILL happen and will be richer for the time you spent with yourself being your own partner in life.

Focus on love in abundance in all areas of life and enjoy seeing what grows.

x Selina

At the time this letter gave me such a sense of calm, reminding me that I was in fact exactly where I needed to be. That this was all part of the plan. That this time alone was in fact something I would one day be eternally grateful for.

How wise that older self was. Today I really do look back on that time with deep gratitude, because I see now that it was in those single years that I became the person I am today. In being single for all those years I discovered a strength in me that I didn’t know I had, I got to experience a wonderful freedom that no woman in my family had ever experienced before and my wings got to spread out wide as I flew all over the world. I got to discover the sweetness of solitude and even the transformative power of heartbreak. Each time I thought my heart was breaking, it was in fact a piece of my ego falling away and a piece of my heart being returned to me until finally I stood strong and whole as the queen of my own kingdom.

THAT is what I was doing in the time I was single. And my wiser self knew that, even then.

I appreciated too how she  understood my longing for partnership and love with another and understood that it wasn’t easy to have such a strong longing and not know when or if it would ever happen. Because longing is a hard one. It’s so heavy and can cling to your heart even in the happiest of times.

But do you know what, I believe it is because of all those years of longing that I am so grateful on a daily basis for the relationship I enjoy today.

But what I love most of all about this letter is that it reminds me that when we choose to, we really can tap into a part of ourselves that is connected deeply with life and that always has love, wisdom and guidance to offer. We just have to learn how to make space for her to be heard.

So why not give it a go yourself this week? Imagine a wise, old version of you is reaching back to the person you are today, she looks upon you with so much love and has so much wisdom and guidance to offer you. Let her write a letter to you and just see what she has to say.

X Selina

 

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An open letter of gratitude to brave women who show up every day

Last week was a big one over at Project Love, as 3 of our coaching clients completed their 3 month ‘Get Ready for Love’ journey and we celebrated 1 year of love stories from our ‘Get Ready for Love’ online course.

We’ve been so moved by some of the stories that we've heard since we started Get Ready for Love and we feel a huge sense of gratitude for the brave women that we have worked with over the years and for the brave women that we haven’t yet worked with.

This week’s post is dedicated to them, and to you, an open letter of gratitude to brave women, showing up every day, even when it's hard.

Thank you for having the strength to rise up through challenges and difficulties in life and committing to what’s important, even when it feels really uncomfortable.

Thank you for your openness and willingness to be intimate with your own deep feelings, to create the space for intimacy with another.

Thank you for holding a space for other women to be brave and share their stories of struggle and transformation.

Thank you for having the courage to walk away from people that aren’t able to commit in the same way that you are, so that you can move on to find someone who can.

Thank you for not giving up and working through your deepest, darkest fears and letting the light in.

Thank you for dropping your expectations of who you think you should be so you can be who you are.

Thank you for respecting your needs and being brave enough to express them and loving and honouring yourself in a way that invites others to do the same.

Thank you for opening up to love, opening your heart and embracing your vulnerability, even when it feels like the scariest thing in the world.

Thank you for feeling everything, even the shit stuff, and even when that voice is saying ‘fuck this.. It’s too hard’.. knowing that feeling is healing.

Thank you for dropping your assumptions as to who you could be attracted to and being open-minded and open-hearted when dating.

Thank you for choosing the path of self love when you’re broken, even when the path of self destruction feels like the safest option.

Thank you for dating yourself, getting to know yourself and treating yourself like a true friend.

Thank you for having patience, taking the time to figure out what you want and the things that inspire you and make your cells dance.

Thank you for your tears, your laughter, your strength, your smile.

Thank you for accepting yourself, as you are, right here and right now.

We're all on this journey together, we’re all going through the same ups and downs and your bravery inspires us and it inspires a whole tribe of other women to keep showing up.

In awe of you,

Vicki and Selina x

P.S. If you’d like to join us and start your own Get Ready for Love journey today then simply head over here and we’ll send you your welcome pack straight away.

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Self-love for beginners

 
 

 

All too often we find people scrunching up their nose at the mention of self-love, as if it’s a bit cheesy and self-indulgent. But learning to love yourself is one of the most powerful and important things you can do in life. Your heart is your power and when you become the source of love in your own life it changes everything. Your relationships, your career, your health – they all flourish when you start to love yourself.

But while we all know deep down that it’s important to love yourself, we find the area that people get most stuck on is actually knowing how to do it.

At Project Love, we like to look at self-love as an art that can be practiced and mastered over time. When we practice self-love, we cultivate a loving and healthy relationship with ourselves and something magical happens – we become our own best friend.

As Oscar Wilde once said, “to love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”.
So how do we start that romance? How do we learn to love ourselves?

Well here are 7 ways you can start practicing the art of self-love straight away:

1. Nourish yourself

If you’re totally new to the practice of self-love then start with focusing on nourishing yourself. Nourishing your body is the most basic form of loving yourself, so this week become mindful of what you put in your body – give it what it loves. Start your day with a green smoothie, treat yourself to a raw chocolate snack and make time to cook yourself a nutritious dinner full of superfoods. The way we feed ourselves reflects how we love ourselves. So get good at nourishing yourself and you’ll lay strong foundations to self-love.

2. Take yourself out on a date

If you’ve never taken yourself out on a date before then make this the month that you do it. Solo-dating is all about spending quality time with yourself and doing something special, just for you. It is one of the most powerful (and fun) things you can do when it comes to practicing self-love. By doing something special for yourself – something you’d only normally do with someone else – you’re giving yourself the love and attention you’d normally only give out to others. You’re finally turning your love in on yourself. We’ve had clients do anything from treating themselves to coffee and a cake at their favourite cafe to taking themselves away on a spa weekend. Whatever people do, they always come away buzzing from it.

3. Start a gratitude journal

It has been proven that just by writing down 5 things that you’re grateful for each day, you can train your brain to be more positive, treating yourself to an overall feeling of happiness. It is a key tool when it comes to practicing self-love because it has us step into an attitude of gratitude, love and abundance.

So buy yourself a notebook and at the end of each day, for the next week, write down 5 things you’re grateful for and see how good it feels to end your day this way.

And as well as giving thanks for things that have happened to you that day and the people in your life that you’re thankful for, also include yourself in your gratitude practice. Find at least one thing you can thank yourself for each day and you’ll see your relationship with yourself shift into an incredibly loving place.

4. Make your body happy

It is essential when learning to love ourselves that we focus plenty of time and attention on our bodies. How we feel in our bodies directly affects how we feel in ourselves. Often feelings of loneliness and lack of love actually stem from our own disconnect with our bodies. You want to keep that gorgeous body of yours feeling energised and full of vitality. So it’s important that as part of your self-love routine you do things that make you feel great in your body; whether that’s yoga, running, 80’s Aerobics or dancing like Beyonce at Frame Rave (a particular favourite of ours)!

5. Express yourself

It’s so important to find ways to really express yourself and feel free to be totally you. Whether it’s dancing, writing, singing, painting, acting, sculpting, cooking, making music, sketching, DJing, pottery or poetry – everyone has something that does it for them. It’s often something we did naturally as children. It’s always something that makes us feel fully alive.

So what is it for you? When do you feel you can really let go and be who you truly are? If it’s not something you do at the moment, then think back to earlier years. What makes you come alive and really connect with the deepest parts of yourself? Now go and make time for it in your life. Whether it’s unleashing your inner Rihanna on the dance floor, singing like no-one’s listening or painting in big bold brush strokes, just for the fun of it, it’s essential that you make time to do the things that allow you to really express yourself from the heart.

6. Write a loving letter to yourself

Pick up a pen and with the same love and fondness you’d write to a dear friend, write a letter to yourself. Write about the things in your life right now that make you happy and the people in your life that bring you joy, inspiration and kindness. Reflect on how you’re feeling, give yourself a pep talk if you feel you need one and document your dreams and wishes for the future. If there’s something in your life that you’re struggling with at the moment, see what advice and encouragement you can give to yourself, celebrate your achievements and sign your letter off with love. Then pop that letter in the post and enjoy receiving it a couple of days later!

7. Shower yourself in feel-good vibes

We have far more power than we often realise to generate the feelings we want to experience in life, no matter where we are or what’s going on around us. We just have to learn how to tap into those feelings. An easy way to do it is to think back to a time in your life where you felt full of joy, happiness, peace or fulfillment – whatever it is you want to feel – and then find a photo of you from that time that really reminds you of what it was like to feel that way, so much so that you start to feel that way again just by looking at the photo.

Now put that photo somewhere so that you’ll see it every day: save it as your Facebook profile picture, your phone wallpaper or just print it out and stick it up on your bathroom mirror. Whenever you need a boost to your day, take a look at that picture and let yourself bathe in those feel-good vibes.

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